Spring has sprung and all the Mommies have come out of hibernation. They are putting on their suburban Mom outfits and venturing out of their cars for after school pickups. It’s time to say Hello to everyone, get caught up on those we have lost touch with over the cold dark winter. As I float from group to group of Mommies I have a revelation. I am smack in the middle of a jungle of cliques. The Mommies have divided!
Some of the way way post high school cliques I noticed this fine spring day:
Granola Bar Mommies
-health food eating, only organic, save the earth, never use a plastic bag, gave up my car and bike freakin everywhere!
Fashionista Mommies
-can only shop “Down Town”, are perfectly made up, never chip a nail and wear ONLY designer clothes
Sporty Mommies
-teach their own aerobic classes, wear cute yoga pants and hoodies everywhere, have their own walking clubs and have a date set for their next marathon
The Super Gossips
-self explanatory
The Too Familiar with Other Moms Husbands Mommies
-sadly this group is growing. Gross. If he is married, Keep. Your. Hands. Off.
The Slutty Mom Cliques
-wears short shorts, enjoys skin tight jeans and bar shirts every day, thinks she is still 19, may have just had some huge stripper boobs put in, a small group very closely related to the Too Familiar with Other Moms Husbands clique.
The Never Gets Out of Her Car Mommies
-seriously-who are you? Mysterious dark sunglasses, tinted windows, drops off, picks up, no one has ever seen you, you never volunteer for a thing? We don’t bite!
The Uber Volunteer Mommies
-have their hands in everything, the ultimate kiss a**, driving the teachers nuts, always at the school.
The I’m Better Then You Mommies
-nose turned up, opinionated but not helpful, pushy, often leads to play dates from hell, always has a job more important then you.
-as a bonus, clearly has a child smarter, prettier, more talented then yours.
The Live Only For My Kids Mommies
-live and die by the kids schedule, come and sit in the car and watch the kids at recess to make sure they are Okay, take them home for every lunch, never do anything for themselves!
(Okay so that is just one Mommy I know of, but thought she deserved a mention!)
The Executive Mommies
-the lawyers, doctors, V.P.’s, head researchers …the suits
The Give You the Shirt Off their Backs Mommies
-these women would give you anything you need, help you any way they can, stuck for a sitter? sick kid? need a car pool? an ear? lovable, squishy, big hearted Mommies
This list just begins to scratch the surface of the Mommy cliques. There are probably as many different cliques as there are people. I’d like to think I don’t fit into any of them. I’m happy to just keep floating around, enjoying the friendships from some of the best women I have ever met. There really are some very nice Mommies here is Suburbia.
Ok Kellogsville, I simply must know what “Fish Wives” are!
Marhta~thanks for the love
Girl Next Door~don’t you worry, we love the lawyer Mommies, just a little jealous that they get to go out looking like a million bucks and have a legit reason for wearing heels every day!
Eek just when I thought you didn’t have one, I saw the lawyer mom one. But sometimes I show up in ratty non-matching gross clothes, unshowered fresh from chores. (I’m a part-time lawyer). so do I get any credit for that?
So, so true – I’ve just started going to a new mommy and me class with my munchkin, and you have just described the other moms. Yikes!
ModernMom: A hilarious post- laughed so loud I woke up Lola!
Don’t know which group I fit in – maybe dog walking Mommies?
See you soon!
xNora
PS Left comment back at mine!
Man. I haven’t had to venture out into that world yet, but I hated cliques in high school. I’ll have to sit in my car like the Never Gets Out Of Her Car mommy!!! LOL!
I am the frazzled, nice Mommy who thinks YOU ARE Da Bomb!!
…and these descriptions move internationally to SchoolGateUK!
I also have a group called “Fish Wives” but you probably have to be English to know that one!
I really hope you don’t fit any completely, I strive to be ME and would never want to fit any pigeon hole
x
Hmmm, I want to be in the “Shirt off the Back” clique, but I think I fall into the sporty mommy category. Thank God I don’t know anyone from the “Too Familiar with Other Mom’s Husbands” group…double-eeew!
I think I’m a bit of this a bit of that. Love MamaJoss’ “Rockin the Pony”. I’m a little of that, maybe a little sporty when I have the energy, wish I could afford to be a fashionista, do have days I don’t get out of my car, do my share of the volunteering, and will do anything for my girlfriends. Just your typical Modern Mom! LOL
okay, this was seriously so funny . . . I SO DO NOT fit any of these descriptions!! What about the mom who lives on the street where there are NO other moms!! That is me – the ghost street. Beautiful bog houses with no neighbors in sight!! Well, there are a few, but none of them speak English NOR do they want to speak to me! Go figure! I so need to move!
okay, this was seriously so funny . . . I SO DO NOT fit any of these descriptions!! What about the mom who lives on the street where there are NO other moms!! That is me – the ghost street. Beautiful bog houses with no neighbors in sight!! Well, there are a few, but none of them speak English NOR do they want to speak to me! Go figure! I so need to move!
See, now my little ones are too young (yet) for me to actually witness/be involved in all this, but I think you’ve nailed it! I don’t think I’d fit into any of those…though I might someday be in the “PJs all the time” category….you know, the Mom who always has a D&D coffee with PJ pants on and ONLY rocks a pony tail…yup…see, bet you know some of them too! I’ll be there.
yep… i figured out a looong time ago that really, all life is is one giant high school all over again, lol!
Sooo True!!! My neighborhood has a clique that one busy-body Mom runs. She is the unspoken leader. Tells everyone what to do, who to include, who to play with, etc, etc. I was in high school once…. don’t do the clique thing… but more than happy to make friends, be social with “normal” people and have managed to meet other neighbors who are just like me…. Not everyone wants to belong to your Club!! Some see you for what you are….shallow, self-centered, insecure and just plain mean! I don’t want to be part of your cliques with your bratty little girls! Ha!
Good for you! Sometimes it is fabulous to be a grown up, we get to pick our own friends! LOL Hurray for the nice girls!
I had to check out where you lived… I could swear you are in “my” school parking lot! Loved the post, hit it right on.
so where do you fit?
wonder what “cliche” I am ….