Tell Me the Truth You Bunch of Liars

So I’ve been reading lots of lists lately.  You are all so nice. So warm, and fuzzy and grateful for the wonderful things in your life.  Waxing poetic about how much you love your Husbands, your kids, the roof over your head and the extra time with your family. To that I say PFFFT.  Whatever!  Might I add Uh Duh?  We know this already! 

I want to know what you are TRULY thankful for!  Here, let me get you started.

I’m thankful for:

Visine, which I spray in my eyes every single morning to try and disguise how truly tired I really am.

For under eye concealer, so I can look like I am remotely human as opposed to the zombie Mom that I sometimes am.

Actually, to make-up in general, I bow down to you.  Mwah.

I’m thankful to coffee, I big fat squishy heart you!  Caffeine is simply a vital part of my life.

I’m grateful for the one or two nights a year my parents and in-laws take the kids overnight!  I love my children more then life itself and the house is kind of creepy quiet when they are not here, but we are being honest right?  Walking naked from the bedroom to the bathroom is super cool, extra sleep and uhh acting like grown-ups with  a little less real life responsibility once in a while, that is brilliant! 

I’m thankful for McDonalds.  Who doesn’t need a little fast food fix once in a while?  If you can avoid all fast food, well, then I guess you are a better Mama then me.  You know what, add hot dogs, ice cream and popcorn to this list.  They have all been used as substitute dinners ….because that’s how I roll.

I’m thankful for the mornings I can find matching socks.  It’s the little things.

I’m grateful for the days when the flyers out number the bills in the mailbox.

I love it when the kids declare they have no homework.  I’m so tired of homework. 

I’m thankful for the evenings when we don’t have to carpool to gymnastics, dance, piano or play dates.  (Yes, sometimes I’m happy to be lazy, and thrilled to encourage TV or computer time! GASP!)

I’m grateful to find one more bottle of ketchup at the back of the cupboard when I thought it was all gone.

I’m thankful for the one pair of jeans that makes my butt looks good. 

And thrilled if I find some chocolate left in my secret stash.  (Every Mama in the Suburbs must have a secret chocolate stash)

These are not the big things that make a person happy, these are the real things that bring joy and make life a little easier. So fess up and tell me the truth….have you got a little guilty pleasure you are thankful for?


PS  If today is Friday, it’s the last day to enter my Holiday Box Giveaway from You’ve Been Gifted!


  1. Amen sister, love this list!

  2. I have so many it’s not funny but top of the list is the lock on the bathroom door. I would be even more grateful if the bathroom was soundproof so I couldn’t hear the kids banging on that door to get in.

  3. Yes, yes and YES!!! Love your list. And I thoroughly encourage schlepping the kids off anywhere at any time to have peace and quiet.

  4. Ahem–Bravo TV! And so with you on breaks from carpooling!!

  5. Bahaha! Okay, ya got me. I have a long list of these, but I’m going to give you what I consider my worst one:
    I’m kinda glad when my kids get sick (not vomit sick that they feel really horrible, just slight fever — enough to not go to school), so I can stay home in my pajamas, not make lunch, watch movies with them all day, and have an excuse not to do any housework. “I had no time, I was taking care of the kids.”
    Okay, they kinda like these days too, but omg, I feel horrible admitting it. LOL!

  6. toilet paper…that is huge!

    free coffee at my local starbucks…

    smiles…nice list!

  7. I just posted my list:

    Thanks for the inspiration!

  8. Well…my list would probably look exactly like yours….word for word actually! Lol. I would also add I’m thankful when the kids are in bed..this is horrible…and when my husband is out of town….total and utter me me me me time!!!! Xbox….reality tv and late night no good for you snacks like cheese cheese.

    Wow….that felt good to get that out in the open….now just don’t tell my family please!

  9. amen!

    wow! love, love your list!

    happy weekend!

  10. amen!

    wow! love, love your list!

    happy weekend!

  11. Are you sure you aren’t my sister?

  12. I’m thankful for when soccer season ends, because then I get to sleep in on Saturday mornings!

  13. You go girl!!! =) LOL! Love it!

  14. Coffee is at the top of my list. Along with any chocolate I can find.

  15. We often forget about the little things. Great list! I love the wireless mouse to my laptop. I love that I can stay in my PJ’s almost everyday until late afternoon! Merry Christmas

  16. Well, if we’re being honest…lets tack on Netflix to that list. Sure, 500 episodes of Curious George is obnoxious…but it’s better than whining, fighting, and running around the house neighing like a horse!

  17. Matching socks are way over-rated. I’m just happy if we can find clean socks that are similar in color.

    I LOVE this post! You’ve inspired me. I’ll give you the credit, if you don’t mind if I do my own.


  18. I’m Thankful for Friday’s because that means no Homework and it means I get to sleep in the next day.

    I’m grateful for Monday’s because that means I will get a quite house.

    And last but not least I am Thankful to all the fine winery’s across the country that keep my glass full so that I can survive all the other days of the week.

  19. Yes, finding another bottle of ketchup is a thrill. I am thankful for yoga and pajama pants….I live in those until April now.

  20. Love your list. I’m thankful for those lazy days too. I’m having one today.

  21. I’m also thankful for caffeine. I tried a day without it and I was falling asleep sitting up on the couch before my daughter’s bedtime.

  22. Yes, to your whole list! I’ll just add a few –

    -my Keurig machine, for that much needed caffeine fix
    -Christmas vacation because it=no work for me!
    -the fact that my son now has a drivers license which means he can run errands for me 🙂
    -the fact that my ex (possible soon-to-be current??) husband still has an apartment for when we need some “grown-up time” away from the kids 😉

  23. I love your list! It’s totally real and totally fantastic…because who ISN’T grateful for make-up and coffee?

    When everyone was listing their gratitudes at Thanksgiving all I could think was, “I’m really just grateful for the Japanese grocery store that sells exactly the right Italian espresso coffee.” I mean, I know, I’m grateful for my kids and my husband, yeah — but we’re talking about my *favorite* espresso here, lady!!

  24. Love this!!

  25. My bed, my comfy, cozy bed.

    That my husband puts the kids to bed at night just when I’ve run out of my last bit of patience.

    That no one in my life makes me feel pressured to be a super clean neat freak.

    Maternity pants, that I am using way before I should need them.

  26. I am thankful that I found out about Pumpkin Lattes from Dunkin Donuts because I really needed them in my life.

    Oh and wine. I am so very thankful for wine.

  27. Yep, make-up is high on my list of things to be thankful for, and any day where a kid’s activity is cancelled so I get a night off from driving is a bonus too.

  28. I’m thankful my dogs don’t wash my face after eating dead birds.

    Oh and what’s his name, my husband. Whatever.

  29. This is definitely the kind of list I can get behind!!

  30. Great list. I’m thanful for nap time!

  31. A free DAY with NO agenda!!!!!!

  32. Great list! I am also Thankful for Coffee and sleep (if I ever get it!) and too many more to list. You hit a bunch of mine for sure 🙂

  33. Love this list-I especially like [and need] the coffee and the eye concealer!
    I am also grateful for the few hours that DD is at school – my quiet time [Love her singing – but sometimes I want complete quiet]:)

  34. Copy your list and add flavored vodka to mine 🙂

  35. Great List!! Love blogs about Gratitude!! There is nothing too small to be thankful for!!

  36. I have a feeling I could read every single comment you have here and find myself nodding, nodding, nodding. I read Sober Julie’s at the top and started laughing. Indeed, soundproof would be fantastic. Why oh why? At least I have finally trained my 3 1/2 year old boy that he can no longer barge in on me and must knock. Mama needs to be alone sometimes.

    I’m grateful for panty liners. Yes. Liners. Because when I go to my fitness boot camp and she makes us do anything that involves hopping, those vaginal deliveries take their toll.

  37. I wish peace and happiness these days,
    Happy Holidays!.
    a hug.

  38. Ditto ditto and ditto some more

  39. Fantastic post!
    I’ll admit to going “on and on” about my hubster, but he puts up with me and deserves a little attention

    but in the spirt of your hilarious list, here are some that didn’t make mine:

    ~ my secret stash of cream (i think) filled 1/2 moon cakes

    ~ pizza days at my kids’ schools (happy dance)

    ~ that powder you can sprinkle in your hair to trick people into thinking it’s clean

    ~ being able to guzzle cold medicine if i need to because i’m NOT pregnant or nursing

  40. Love this post! My list includes:
    Diet Coke- it’s just lovely.
    A night off
    Christmas cookies
    Christmas music
    When I don’t have to pack lunches
    Running on time (a rarity)
    Waking up when it’s sunny out

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