How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Angry …For No Reason

in Everyday on

office

It had been a perfectly “Okay” day.

I managed to hit a couple of deadlines.  Did some laundry.  Got the kitchen cleaned up.  Had a sweet chat with a couple of friends. Drove my kiddos from A to B to C.  (ordered pizza for dinner…because I’m still not quite detoxed from that trip to Beaches Resort and craving all things carb).  I spent a few quality moments with my pup.  The sun was shinning and I was feeling fine.

It was a perfectly ordinary day.

So when my Hubby called me late in the afternoon, so happy, floating on cloud nine, all breezy and chatty about how gorgeous the day was, what an amazing round of golf he’d just played “IN NOVEMBER!!” and that he was going to play some cards now.  Why did it make me so….sad?  Why was I angry?  It just hit me all kinds of wrong.  Not because my Husband was having a fab day.  Not because the weather was beautiful.  Not because he was playing cards.  I was fine with that.  Happy for him actually, he was having a wonderful day.  I think I was feeling MEH, “put out”, kind of ticked, because sometimes, working from home, whether that be as a Blogger, a writer, a Mom…. can be so damn isolating.  It. Is. Hard.

I no longer work in my home office.  It’s too closed off.  So I sit and work my butt off at the kitchen table.  Alone.  My days goals spread before me.  Answering e-mails.  Seeking inspiration for posts.  Writing.  Working.  Alone.  There are no “people” to go have lunch with.  No coffee break with other staff.  No one to say “good job“, or “let me help you with that!“.  There certainly isn’t any fun water cooler talk,  uproarious discussion about what happened on Big Bang the night before.  There’s no one suggesting we go play a round of golf or grab a coffee, that’s for sure.  It’s just…..me.

I think when my Husband remarked on what a beautiful day it was outside….it stung not because it was beautiful out, but because I had missed it.  I knew the sun was shinning, but I’d missed the day.  I’m sure the temperature was gorgeous, but I never felt the warmth on my face.  Because I was writing.  Alone.  In the kitchen.  Again.

There are many, many perks to working for yourself.  Writing, blogging, creating your own destiny and being your own boss.  But sometimes, just sometimes I miss the office, the people, the noise, the punch break, and the end of the day when you say good-bye,  “See you in the morning“.  Or the invite to maybe squeeze in one more round of golf , go outside for a walk and feel the sun on your face.

See.  Angry… for no reason at all.

    • Comments

    2. I am so happy that Spring has finally arrived and i can finally start getting outside and enjoying the warmth!

    3. I’m disabled and I’m at home all the time and I get hostile over all kinds of reasons but I also know it has to do with my hormones, so I just try to ride it out until I feel better

    5. Great post. I had written a bunch of stuff out, but deleted it because I realized it was getting pretty heavy, but basically, I totally get what you’re saying. 🙂

    6. There’s no change of environment… of course it’s going to feel internally frustrating!

    7. I absolutely understand that feeling. Staying home and dealing with isolation can really affect our emotional and physical health.

    8. I know that loneliness. I live by myself now. helps I am living close to family and friends.

    9. I absolutely get that feeling…I stay busy every moment of every day it seems but, still, it can feel really isolating being at home so much…it makes me miss the social experiences of a job outside of the home but…I still wouldn’t give this up for the world! 🙂

    10. Some days are easier than others aren’t they? Just wanted to say thanks once again for keeping it real. Life isn’t always a big bowl of cherries.

      • You are so right. Some days are easier than others. And a great big you’re welcome! If nothing else, I can keep it real!

      • Thanks Stephanie. I think even just the writing of this post helped. I think we have all been there on one day or another. Thanks for the comment love!

    13. I get this. Staying at home with my kiddos is some of the hardest work I’ve ever done. Thank goodness for the little perks, the smiles, the quiet moments and the early morning cuddles that make it all worth while.

      • Having worked out of the house, and as a FT stay at home Mom, I know staying at home with the kids is one of the hardest jobs you can do. Thank goodness for those cuddles.

    14. Oh i have been there many a days,having a disability and not getting out much some days i just wake up kind of angry

        • Thanks,but on the other hand i have to try and remember all the good things and that there are so many people out there who are so worst off than me………..Honestly i should count my blessing for i am blessed with an amazing husband.

    15. I can relate, I am at home and hubby works. Some days I do get angry or frustrated for no reason because I do feel like I am missing out. But there are many other days that I am very grateful for my freedom and flexibility.