I’m DONE WITH the Humans

The summer time weather, and maybe the wine, have brought back my sassy side.  So what have I done?  I’ve started a list.  Perhaps it’s not quite a list of people I want to punch in the throat.  That might be a bit extreme, but it is a list of people who are making me bananas, that I’m done with, that deserve so much more than my normal oh so shameful passive aggressive head shaking and finger wagging!  It’s time for a good old fashioned vent.  C’mon, it’s not that bad, it’s like therapy for Mama’s in the suburbs.

1. The people who read my “No Soliciting Sign”.  Ring my doorbell and when I answer say; “Mam, I’m not soliciting, I just wondered if you might be interested in buying xyz.”  Sigh.
2. People who leave their dogs in cars.  How stupid are you?
3. The guy who cuts me off in traffic.  How did you not see the giant SUV in your rear view?
4. The fools who continue to park at the end of my driveway.  People, I live in the suburbs.  There is a ridiculous amount of room to park your car all over the street.  Why must you park at the very end of my driveway.  Do you want me to hit your car?
5. Boob talkers.  Hi, old guy in the grocery store.  No, I don’t know where the marshmallows are, but I do know where my eyes are.  Up HERE.  For goodness sake, so gross.
6. Speeding teenagers.  I must be getting old because I find myself shaking my head at teenage drivers just plain driving too fast.  I get it, it’s summer, you’re feeling all loosey goosey and care free.  But for the love of God, slow down before you hurt somebody.
7. Do you smell that smell?  No? I’m surprised.  Because when SassyHubby and I went to the movies last week we had to move seats.  Know why?  The dude sitting next to me either didn’t believe in showers or deodorant. Quite possibly both.  I can’t enjoy my movie or my popcorn if I have to breathe through my mouth, please sir, have a bath.
8. Almost as bad, over perfumed girl.  Cough- cough- headache.  Girly, put down the perfume bottle!
9. Condesending car sales guy?  Yes, the car we are looking at buying is for me.  Yes, I CAN tell you what I want.  No, I’m not just interested in a pretty colour and the sound system.  Sigh.  Just cause I’m blonde doesn’t mean I’m dumb.
10. I’m leaving this one blank for you.  Who is someone you are just completely, 100%, done with?  Go ahead and get it off your chest.  Trust me, it feels good!