The Dreaded Water Park

It is with great admiration that I will try to eloquently post my thoughts on the confidence of the patrons of the Typhoon Lagoon this past Sunday.

It was the night before my great expedition to the dreaded water park. A place I was sure would be filled with all kinds of perfect little hard bodies and designer suits. A destination where everyone was sure to judge what you looked like in your barley there swim wear. I dutifully packed all of our essentials. Sunscreen, hats, sweatshirts and cash. Now what the hell does a 37 year old mother of 2 wear to a water park? Something that I can look good in, where I’m still the cool Aunt and the almost Hot Mom. Men don’t have this kind of stress! Something that would not encourage pointing and laughing. Something that would not draw attention. Most of all something that would stay put!! In summary I needed a magic suit!! I did not think it appropriate to don the previously blogged about bikini. I do not have the confidence to let it all hang out. My problem, I just spent a fortune on my 2 new Tankini’s and know from experience water parks will reek havoc on your little expensive suits. At least if you are actually there to play, and my intent was to whoop it up with my girls. So my decision? The old trusty bikini and cutesy tank top to keep the girls under wraps should I hit any slides at warp speed. So I committed to my decision. Not looking back. Gulp

Morning dawns and we head out to our Disney destination. Kids are thrilled and I am also looking forward to a day of fun. Please god let there be heat on in at least a couple of those pools!

Here is what amazed, perhaps even shocked me. I should not have wasted one moment worrying about what I was going to wear that day. There were 300 pound women strutting their stuff with pride. Men with wicked cases of plumbers butt, laughing oblivious to their near nakedness. Teens giggling in their dental floss style suits, and in my humble opinion, not wearing nearly enough clothes. Every body type big and small….they were there and they were lovin it!

Are water parks the great equalizer? The one place on this earth where attitudes and judgements are left at the gate? No make-up, no great hair, body parts swinging and flopping every which way. People were so busy having fun and running from one great slide to the next that there was just no time for petty worries. The only thing the water crazed patrons were concerned about sunburns and the how long the line was for the BUCKETS of ice cream.

Lesson learned. Note to future self. All shapes and sizes welcomed with open arms at the water park. Maybe Disney really is the greatest place on earth.