How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Fighting Fair in the Suburbs

in Everyday on

Who decides what is fair?

Your child works their tail off all year on the hockey team, and then they are not allowed to play in the final game because they are deemed “not quite good enough” by the volunteer coach.

Your one and only is the victim of bullying at school.  It is clear cut.  There are three predators. Only two are punished, third boy, he is the principals kid.

Your baby pours her heart and soul into a theatre audition for a fancy school for the arts.   She is a talented little drama queen with an impressive list of dance and music experience, she also has the grades to  back her up and make her a star!  What she doesn’t have. A legacy. Her Mama didn’t go to the school.  Nor did her Dad…oh and they aren’t neurosurgeons or fat cat lawyers.  Guess who didn’t make the cut.

All are true Mama stories borrowed from my friends, from this week. 

This crazy week has me thinking.  At what point as a Mother do you step in and announce….UNFAIR.  Does it even help to do this? 

Does the squeaky wheel ever get the grease…or do they just get labelled “the bitch”?

I try very hard to see my children for who they are.  I will never claim to be perfect, and I know they aren’t, but do think I have a solid grasp of who my girls are and what they are capable of.  I will advocate for them until they are old enough and strong enough to advocate for themselves.  I will also admit that sometimes it is hard to know when to speak up and when to let things run it’s course!

My question to you. 

At what point do YOU say enough is enough.  At what point does your inner lioness kick in? 

-Is it when they are being bullied at school?  grrr Girls can be so mean.

-Is it when their spot on the Track team is given to them on a Monday and then snatched from them on a Tuesday?

Where do you draw the line between the ugly and harsh life is not always fair crap that I feel I have doled out once too often lately? 

Do you have a story you would like to get off your chest?  Tell me I am not alone!  I can’t be the only Mama who has had the occasion, the need to stand up for my babies!

When did you have to take a stand and announce NOT FAIR!!!

 

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    • Comments

    1. This is so tough and we’ve learned to ask the boys for their solutions prior to us always running into battle for them. Sorry, life is unfair, and that is one sucky lesson to learn regardless of age.

    2. I think the bullying thing would get me stepping up to the plate no matter what. My sister was bullied a LOT in school, and not much was done until my mom had to file a police report. *sigh*

      Nepotism just sucks. I still don’t know what to do about that.

    3. I do have stories and i agree that if we mom stick up for our kids we are labeled, “a bitch” and that is unfair.

      At softball it was raining and started to lightening. It was not ON us yet, but they are supposed to end the game. The coaches kept playing. Every mom complained under her breath, but noone spoke up. I pulled my girl and she got a crummy position the next game.

    4. Well, we just survived our first year of school! LOL it kicked my butt! What I learned and walked away with is with my experience, it pays for you to be involved and I mean involved, whether you are assisting, organizing events, PTO, whatever your cup of tea shall be but to be part of the “group” it pays to be involved. It’s amazing what you see if you take a step back and watch! That’s what I learned, that it’s all about your stategy! Good Luck!!

    8. The best gift we can give our children is to teach them to be strong and fair and stand up for themselves. We can’t be with them forever so having the ability to respectfully ask for help or guidance is something they can hone for years.

    9. it’s such a fine line between letting your kids pick their battles, and you picking them for them — or worse, making things even MORE uncomfortable for them by standing in.

    10. Never realized it until I became a teacher, but bullying by girls is 10 X worse than boys.

      You have a right to be upset.