Sparky Hair Cuts, Backoutitis and Death Stares From Men in Suits

Did you ever have one of those weekends where you feel like someone is watching you.  To be more specific, that someone is perhaps the crew of Candid Camera? 

To sum up the past few days, this weekend was fast and odd.  We may have gained an extra hour, but clearly I should have spent it in bed. 

On top of the normal chaos of dance, Cheer and Volleyball Tourneys, we added a computer crashing at Hubby’s work and all the phones going down.  Why did this happen? Was it because Hurricane Sandy made it this far north and blew trees down and squashed his office?  No it is not.  It’s because our General Manager needed a hair cut.  Yep, a hair cut.  So the ever helpful book keeper volunteered to cut said hair right there in the office.  Um Gross!  Clearly this was not well thought out!  The result of a hair cut in an office full of RUGS and COMPUTERS is the need for copious amounts of vacuuming. Apparently copious amounts of vacuuming leads to a great big bang….and a few sparks?  This bang burns out phones, security and all computers go down.  Huh.  Not such a cheap and easy hair cut now!  Expensive sigh. 

Hours spent sorting out the hair vs. vacuum disaster leads to the need for retail therapy.  Time to hit the mall!  On a Saturday?  Rookie mistake.  Everyone goes to the mall on a Saturday.  This my friends is where I was finally diagnosed with backoutitis. You see, it is my theory that when driving an SUV the size of a small tank, and entering a very over crowded mall parking lot, the best plan of attack is to find a big ass parking spot and back into it.  I’m great at backing in.  Thus eliminating all fear that I will be blocked into said spot, and unable to free myself from the parking lot. Somewhere through the years I have developed a major case of “What if I get into that spot, come out of the mall or grocery store and am parked next to a “TOO CLOSE PARKER and can’t get out!”  This never happens if you are backed into a spot.  Hubby thinks I am insane, I told him not to laugh at people with backoutitis.  It’s a thing.  Respect it. 

After hours of shopping at the mall, finding boots for SweetGirl and shoes for the Hubby it was time to go.  Having left the mall without spending a single penny on myself, I truly deserved a reward!  Take out for dinner!

As our family of four once again unloaded from our giant SUV my youngest said something that had me laugh OUT LOUD.  Very, very loud.  Unfortunately at this moment, a rather dapper looking young man in a full on suit was fighting a free fall.  Seems he tripped over his own two feet and was sailing towards the concrete at the exact moment my SweetGirl was getting her comic on.  The result; a death stare from suit guy.  Me yelling “Oh dear no!  I wasn’t laughing at him…uh you…oh no!!”  Followed by more death stare.  Instead of me clearing up things with Suit Man, I was just making it worse.   Much worse!  This lead to hysterics from Hubby, both dear daughters and a couple of not so innocent on-lookers.  Apology fail. 

I hung my head, admitting defeat.  Suit guy did not believe in my innocence. I promptly took out my despair on a double chocolaty milk shake.  It helped a little.  I’m so not the laughing at a guy sailing towards the concrete kind of girl.  Not out loud anyway!

Some weekends are just better spent in bed. 

PS  Sorry suit guy