How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Hot Mama Mutterings

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Things I have muttered to myself today

….because I have convinced myself talking while alone is a sign of intelligence and cause well, if I don’t call myself hot, who will?

Nooooo. How can it be time to get up already? Just one more time with the snooze button.

I’d like to meet the guy who invented the bathroom scale and give him a piece of my mind.

Are you kidding me? Why is it every time I sit down, the toilet paper roll is empty?

$#!^ -Yep-That shower is frigid!

If I could figure out how leg hair grows so fast, transplant it and then sell it to bald guys I would be a millionaire.

Ahhhh A spider. A SPIDER. A SPIDER. Get out of My SHOWER!!

What kind of a freak grows one stray hair out of their neck?

Sigh. Seriously. A closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.

Dog is barking. Hello, dog is barking. Can no one in this house hear the dog??

What the ?? What did I just step in? Warm and gooey and stuck to your sock is never good. Apparently no body did hear that poor dog.

Gag. Gag (K I didn’t mutter that, but I did make that sound)

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Just a half muffin more.

40 is the new 30. Just wear all monochromatic colours and you CAN pull it off.

Laugh lines are hot.

Just 6 more hours until bedtime.

Just Breath.

This Mama may be muttering, but it’s working for me!

    • Comments

    2. I blame the kids that I now talk out loud all the time. Micah, to be specific. I was told that the more speech he hears, the quicker he’ll learn to talk. Six years later I’m still waiting for speech from him, but I’m firmly entrenched in my think-it-say-it habit.