Dear Concession Salesgirl,
I respect that you have a job to do. Your job is to up sell us every single thing you can. Offer me extra butter, see if I want a bigger pop, perhaps I want to make it a combo? No to all, I reply in my polite but rushy rush voice. Hmm. Well, Can I offer you a membership in our rewards program? AHHHH. Dear girl…as I just told you, my movie starts in like 2 minutes and I’ve been informed it is a sold out show, I really don’t want to be in the front row. Can I please just have the popcorn and big old bottle of water and move along!!!
Girl in a Hurry
Dear Cineplex Odeon,
Your ticket prices have skyrocketed, your theatres are too cold, your popcorn prices are ridiculous. I have accepted all of that. I am not impressed that after paying to see the movie of my choice I must sit through commercials. SO MANY COMMERCIALS. Commercials for milk and cell phones. Commercials for Coke. Commercial for the popcorn that is going to be done before the show even starts. If I wanted commercials I would have waited to see this movie on TV. Bring on the previews, bring on the show. Keep your crap 12 minutes of commercials.
Glad I rushed at the Concession stand so I wouldn’t miss these commercials
Dear Texting Girl,
Turn off your cell phone in the movies means just that. Turn off your phone and stop your crazy ass texting. I don’t need to be distracted by your little BUZZ BUZZ blue screen during a pivotal moment in the movie. Sex scene plus your blue screen and BUZZ BUZZ equals super anti-climatic.
Getting annoyed now.
Dear Sir -Sitting Beside Me,
Oh, good grief. Didn’t your Mama ever tell about a little thing called the shower? If you knew about this glorious invention and the added benefit of deodorant my experience last night would have been so much more pleasant. Every time you lift your arm to grab some popcorn I gag. Each time the air kicks in I’m forced to plug my nose. You see dear, this is probably why your date didn’t show up last night. She didn’t know how to tell you the embarrassing news…you are super smelly.
Girl choking on your B.O. that should have stayed home