This March Break instead of heading somewhere warm and sunny, I am staying up here in the cold! Insert whining and crying! I have no fabulous palm tree pictures to share, no blinding beach pictures, and no need for sunscreen, what I do have is some sold advice. How to survive a water park!
It was the night before my great expedition to the dreaded water park. We were headed to Typhoon Lagoon at Disney World. A place I was sure would be filled with all kinds of perfect little hard bodies and designer suits. A destination where everyone was sure to judge what you looked like in your barley there swim wear. I dutifully packed all of our essentials. Sunscreen, hats, sweatshirts and cash. Now what the hell does a Mama of 2 wear to a water park? Something that I can look good in, where I’m still the “cool Aunt” and the almost Hot Mom.
at least in my head Something that would not encourage pointing and laughing. Something that would not draw attention. Most of all something that would stay put!! In summary I needed a magic suit!!
A tankini seemed like a good choice, but I just spent a fortune on my two new tankini’s and know from personal experience water parks will reek havoc on your little expensive suits. So my decision? The old trusty bikini and cutesy tank top to keep the girls under wraps should I hit any slides at warp speed. So I committed to my decision. Not looking back. Gulp. No cameras, please.
Morning arrived and we head out to our Disney destination. The kids were thrilled and I was nervous as hell. Please God let there be heat on in at least a couple of those giant public pools! Please don’t let me make a fool of myself. Please just help me get through the day and make some memories that do not include me embarrassing myself!
As the day wore on, my shock and awe increased! People are incredible creatures! I should not have wasted one moment worrying about what I was going to wear that day. There were 300 pound women strutting their stuff with pride. Men with wicked cases of plumbers butt, laughing oblivious to their near nakedness. Teens giggling in their dental floss style suits, and in my humble opinion, not wearing nearly enough clothing. Every body type big and small, were tackling those slides with abandon and they were lovin it! The best part, so was I!
Are water parks the great equalizer? The one place on this earth where attitudes and judgements are left at the gate? No make-up, no great hair, body parts swinging and flopping every which way. People so busy having fun and running from one great slide to the next that there is just no time for petty worries. The only thing the water crazed patrons were concerned about were sunburns and the how long the line was for the BUCKETS of ice cream.
Lesson learned and a note to future self. All shapes and sizes welcomed with open arms at the water park. Don’t worry, be happy and go enjoy the ride! Maybe Disney really is the greatest place on earth.