I am now over 40, gulp. In these forty years I’ve done some really dumb things. Locked myself out of the house. Classic. Purchased clothes I really didn’t like because some salesgirl on commission told me I looked HAWT in them. Gullible. Used lip liner as eyeliner and confused air freshener for breath spray…but that’s a whole different story. I’d like to think I’ve learned from my mistakes and won’t repeat them, but there are still a few situations where this girl is still getting her blonde on:
The Five Stupid Things This Girl Will Do To Feel Good About Herself
1. Tie my hair back into a really tight pony for that
fresh from the plastic surgeonI don’t have any wrinkles look. Plus I look younger, right???
2. Refuse to step on the scale. If I don’t see or acknowledge how bad that number is then I don’t have to deal with it!
3. Wear a really bright lipstick to distract from the fact that I have a mountain of a zit growing out of my face. (Then lie to myself that this actually works)
4. Blamed the GPS for getting me lost. Sure, it may have told me to turn the wrong way down a one way street but shouldn’t I have known at that point that the damn thing was not to be trusted?
5. Indulge in retail therapy by buying some fabulous new shoes I don’t need. Why? My feet are the one and only part of my body that never betrays me. My waist may turn on me when I’ve been binging on ice cream and potato chips every night for two weeks, but my feet will always keep my dirty little secrets. This needs to be rewarded. Always.
Sadly, this might just be the tip of the iceberg. Confession: It feels good to get it off my chest! What stupid thing have you done just to get through the day? Go ahead, spill, your secret is safe with me!