Passive Aggressive Letters: Biting My Tongue

letters

It’s that time again, time for some Passive Aggressive Letter’s from the Suburbs.  This time reflecting on some occasions I really had to bite my tongue.  I’m getting it all off my chest, the things I didn’t say this week…. that I really wish I did. 

Dear Oblivious Driver in the School Parking Lot,

Hello, we can see you. yes you, just sitting there in the middle of the no parking zone clogging up the works.  Do you really think that every single time you come to pick up your child you miraculously get the best spot in the lot?  How self involved are you?  Do you not see the signs that clearly indicate “Kiss and Ride Only”? It’s been in every newsletter ever sent home.  This is DROP OFF AND PICK UP ONLY.  Yet there you sit, all smug, texting away, and it’s really starting to tick me off! Get the hell out of the drop off zone you self involved fool.

Signed,

One Parking Lot Raging Mama

Dear Yappy,

As I sat next to you on the train for my two hour ride to Toronto, I had the unfortunate experience of learning your life story.  How’s that?  You are a loud talker.  Worse that that.  You are a loud cell phone talker.  Perhaps you thought your conversation was endearing and the rest of the passengers on the VIA rail wanted to hear one side of your life story?  We did not.  It was actually kinda painful to listen to you drone on and on for 45 minutes about the MANY ways your evil girlfriend had wronged you.  All I wanted to yell was: For the love of all that is holy stop yapping on your cell phone about your ex-girlfriend and how many times she has kicked you out of the house, or at least take the hint and stop going back to her! 

Signed the VIA Passenger with way too much personal information about you now. 

 

Dear 80 Year Old Man At The Mall,

At first I thought you were just being friendly with your little head nods and your wave.  Then I thought maybe I knew you?  Then I realized with your wink and your come hither look? You were getting your flirt on?  OMG Seriously, this really might be my demographic now.  Hangs head.  Sorry Honey, I’m just not that into you. Shudder.

Signed,

Happily Married To Someone Your Daughters Age.

Your turn!  Feel free to tell me about when you had to bite your tongue this week, or at least that ‘m not the only one getting hit on by guys using a cane!



Comments

  1. Haha! When I started reading Dear Yappy I was under the assumption it was a female, they tend to do that, but a male yakking about his ex is definitely new.

    • Oh and HE just would not stop. He was turning me into a “mumbler” I found myself SHUSHING him under my breath, but he wasn’t getting my message :)

  2. I love when you do these! They always make me chuckle. =)

  3. Judy C (Cowan) says:

    Thanks for my morning laugh :) Been a pretty boring week in my world so no real bite your tongue moments and no 80 year old men flirting with me…lol

  4. Anne Taylor says:

    LOL I love them all, but the last one made me spit my coffee out lolol

    Thanks for the morning giggle!

  5. Love them – loud cell phone talker on the GO and the parent in the kiss and ride line at school both make me loose my cool. THanks for the laugh!

    • Isn’t amazing how many rude people there are in the world! Maybe we should start honking really loudly at these people? Nah..too aggressive right?

  6. I love answering the people on the phone as they yabber along, it’s amazing how much it ticks them off when they realise you are actually listening and not managing to ignore their loud boring yabber yabber yabber. Ticks THEM off – the cheekl!

  7. haha there may be a reason he got kicked out of the house….lol…
    err…a little creepy on the old man…

    • LOL I think it was obvious to everyone on that train why he had been kicked out of the house! As for the old er gentleman? I have no words!

  8. Kristy Short says:

    Hilarious!

  9. “Kiss and Ride” – same story every single day. Once I’ve got a finger and a “blessing” for making a remark when I almost ended up under a car entering the parking lot from the wrong side.

    • Now that sounds dangerous!! See people should not be allowed to park in that “Kiss and Ride”! Why can’t everyone just follow the rules, they are pretty simple. :)

  10. :) Oh, it has been one of THOSE weeks for me too! Hopefully the start of December treats us both kinder!

  11. Oh so sorry to hear you’ve had one of those weeks too.
    Hope you can find the comedic side to it :) Hugs!

  12. Victoria Ess says:

    Haha I love when you do these! The parking thing is a HUGE pet peeve of mine as well.

  13. joanna garcia says:

    love this! made me laugh! omg i can totally understand you about the yappy person ugh and the old man, wow gross!

  14. Teresa Honores says:

    oh no i sympathize with the oblivious drivers those are the worst! sorry you had a bad day! hope it gets better!

  15. On the plus side, there is confirmation that you do turn heads. :)

  16. Oh Jeez. Amen to all of those!

  17. Maybe that guy could be a sugar daddy!

  18. Oh my goodness….those yappers make me want to blow a gasket. Or their head off??? SO annoying.
    My list is too long; must be that time for me. :)))))

  19. Why is it that people don’t realize that you are not interested in their life story so they should keep their public cell phone use discreet!

  20. LOL, love these! I am so glad my parking lot wars are over…hated those days! As for the old gentleman – well not really a gentleman – you are definitely not in that demographic.

  21. Oh thanks for the laughs this morning, sorry, it is good to vent!

  22. Cheryl (@loucheryl) says:

    I enjoyed reading your 3 letters. I should do this when I need to vent. I know a lot of friends who have to deal with “kiss and rides” when dropping their kids off. There always seems to be one idiot who thinks they are entitled to do the wrong thing in the kiss and ride. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with one at my kids school (we are close enough to walk to school).

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