How To Survive Marriage In The Suburbs?

This Saturday I will be able to proudly say that I’ve been married for 17 years.  I won’t say I have “survived” 17 years of marriage, as the good far outweighs the bad and I have more blessings than I can count.  (I did warn you this week was going to be gushy)

Since we passed the 15 year mark I have been asked over and over again, what’s your secret?  How do you keep that spark and hang on to the joy.  So here it is, my tongue and cheek advice for surviving marriage in the suburbs.  Take it for what it’s worth, but it’s working for us;

how to survive marriage in the suburbs.  17Years

Laugh.  Honour.  Respect.  Do all of these, with all that you are.  No explanation required. 

Fight fair. (and don’t pretend you are one of those couples that never fight, everyone has a wee disagreement once in a while)

Be kind, always.

Talk, about every little thing, and be a good listener.

Share everything.  From the best part of your day to the worst.  Including changing diapers, taking out the garbage, and the last piece of chocolate cake.  Sharing is caring.  (I may be quoting the Care Bears but the sentiment works here too!)

Love fiercely.  Forgive easily.  "Love is…no assignment for cowards." —Ovid  Give your marriage your everything and expect everything in return.  You can’t rely on someone else to make you happy, but you can create your happiest self and love with all that you are.

Kiss each other hello and goodbye every single day.  (I think I heard this from Oprah, it stuck.  Never let that man walk out the door without a little sugar!)

Not to contradict myself about the sharing, but a little bit of mystery is not a bad thing.  Don’t tell him every blonde thought that comes into your head.  For that matter, don’t pee with the door open.  C’mon that’s crossing some kind of line, let’s leave at least a few things behind closed doors.

Do tell him you love him every single day, even when you don’t feel super lovey.

Do make time to date your Hubby.  One day your children will leave your great big nest, and you are going to need to have some kind of common ground!  Keep the spark alive, remember why you are in love!

Do lean on each other.  Life is hard.  If you found a life partner to go through this crazy world together with, then lean in and hang on.  If you have laid the ground work, you can get through just about anything.

Keep dreaming…together.  Daydream about all those special memories.  Spend dreamy afternoons doing nothing at all together, and keep dreaming about what is to come. 

In all honesty my very best advice is to try and remember the words of someone so much wiser than me, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." – Mignon McLaughlin

To my SassyHusband, Happy Anniversary.  Thank you for sharing your life with me, dreaming with me and helping me to hold our world together.  I just can’t wait to see what lays ahead!


  1. 🙂 You are truly blessed!

  2. Great advice! Hope you will have many more happy years together!

  3. Judy C (Cowan) says:

    Great Advice, we try to follow the same guidelines! Hope you have many more happy years together!

  4. All wise words! 🙂 Happy Anniversary!

  5. Anne Taylor says:

    Every word a wise one! We are at 23yrs now and have been through so much, but honesty, love, forgiveness and communication have all had a part in saving our relationship!

    • Congratulations to you too!! Imagine if there was TV show book that actually portrayed a real married couple? I’m sure honesty, love, forgiveness and communication would be part of that fantasy couple 🙂

  6. congrats! we’re at 20 now. i fight with him and he laughs. but yes communication is key

    • Congratulations to you too!! I’m already planning how we will celebrate our 20th 🙂 Communication really is key.

  7. Congratulations! Marriage is work, especially if you want it to last, there are good times and bad times. I will be married twenty-six years next month, how do we make it work, we talk, about everything. Here’s wishing you many more years of happiness.

    • Thank you! I so agree, marriage is work, the very best kind of work 🙂 Congrats on your 26 years! WOW! Wishing you many many more!

  8. Excellent advice! I’ve been with mine for – let me think – yes, 23-going on 24 years now. Sometimes I wonder how we’ve made it this far. I think laughter is probably the biggest common denominator for us. But the rest of your advice rings true (and reminded me of a few things!) Happy Anniversary! All the best. x

    • I LOVE that I’m not the only one who has to do a little count to check and see what year of marriage I’m on! Huge congrats to you and I completely agree, laughter is so important, it just makes life better!

  9. Congratulations to you!! Wishing you many many more!

  10. Happy Anniversary. I have you beat by a few years but your advice is exactly what I would share. Enjoy!

  11. nice… list…and i like your honesty….so true on fighting and pretending you dont…if it is truly a passionate relationship you surely will..

  12. I love sharing in your life and getting to know you and your family.
    Way to go on 17 years!!!!

  13. Mom and Dad says:

    Congratulations to both of you! We know you and hubby will have a wonderful day as you celebrate 17 years of marriage! As you know we celebrated 46 years a few months ago…true love is surely a blessed thing. XXOO

  14. Excellent advice……you are so right about it all.
    We’ve been together for 30 years and he’s never seen me on the toilet! HA. 🙂

  15. Cheryl Grandy says:

    Congratulations to you and your husband. I’ve been happily married 27 years and your post pretty much covers how we’ve done it. You’ve mentioned a few areas that I haven’t been paying much attention to lately. Thanks for the reminders.

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