This Saturday I will be able to proudly say that I’ve been married for 17 years. I won’t say I have “survived” 17 years of marriage, as the good far outweighs the bad and I have more blessings than I can count. (I did warn you this week was going to be gushy)
Since we passed the 15 year mark I have been asked over and over again, what’s your secret? How do you keep that spark and hang on to the joy. So here it is, my tongue and cheek advice for surviving marriage in the suburbs. Take it for what it’s worth, but it’s working for us;
Laugh. Honour. Respect. Do all of these, with all that you are. No explanation required.
Fight fair. (and don’t pretend you are one of those couples that never fight, everyone has a wee disagreement once in a while)
Be kind, always.
Talk, about every little thing, and be a good listener.
Share everything. From the best part of your day to the worst. Including changing diapers, taking out the garbage, and the last piece of chocolate cake. Sharing is caring. (I may be quoting the Care Bears but the sentiment works here too!)
Love fiercely. Forgive easily. "Love is…no assignment for cowards." —Ovid Give your marriage your everything and expect everything in return. You can’t rely on someone else to make you happy, but you can create your happiest self and love with all that you are.
Kiss each other hello and goodbye every single day. (I think I heard this from Oprah, it stuck. Never let that man walk out the door without a little sugar!)
Not to contradict myself about the sharing, but a little bit of mystery is not a bad thing. Don’t tell him every blonde thought that comes into your head. For that matter, don’t pee with the door open. C’mon that’s crossing some kind of line, let’s leave at least a few things behind closed doors.
Do tell him you love him every single day, even when you don’t feel super lovey.
Do make time to date your Hubby. One day your children will leave your great big nest, and you are going to need to have some kind of common ground! Keep the spark alive, remember why you are in love!
Do lean on each other. Life is hard. If you found a life partner to go through this crazy world together with, then lean in and hang on. If you have laid the ground work, you can get through just about anything.
Keep dreaming…together. Daydream about all those special memories. Spend dreamy afternoons doing nothing at all together, and keep dreaming about what is to come.
In all honesty my very best advice is to try and remember the words of someone so much wiser than me, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." – Mignon McLaughlin
To my SassyHusband, Happy Anniversary. Thank you for sharing your life with me, dreaming with me and helping me to hold our world together. I just can’t wait to see what lays ahead!