Passive Aggressive Letters: I Don’t Understand People!

A tradition at How To Survive Life In The Suburbs, the Passive Aggressive Letter…with Love of course.  This past weekend, my fabulous and funny blogging  friend Kyla at Mommy’s Weird, allowed me to grace her blog with my presence.  For her I created a hodge podge of some of my favourite letters that clearly explain one thing;  I do not understand people. 

Dear Tim Horton’s Customer,

At the Tim Horton’s coffee shop, there is a certain protocol one must follow.  It is quite simple really.  When you walk in the door, you go and get in line.  You line up at the BACK of the line.   You do not wave your skinny Lululemon clad ass and think this is somehow a pass to the front.  I for one am unimpressed. Okay I was a little bit impressed, but not enough to let you get your coffee before me and the 70 year old gent who held the door open for me.

Signed,

Yep, People Can Still Surprise Me

Dear Sweet Girl Helping Us Out In The Tile Store,

Yes.  You have boobs.  All girls do.  Yours do happen to be exceptionally large.  This is not something that I usually find overly distracting. Today however, I felt like a dude. I could not stop looking at your boobs!   A little advice from one babe to another. When you work in a great big cold building, and have great big boobs, and one of those boob points east and the other points west, it might be better if you put on a bra.  A good one. 

Just Sayin.

Signed

The Girl Who May Have Talked To Your Boobs.  (Sorry)

 

To see the rest of the passive aggressiveness, please pop over and say Hello to Kyla!

(She is super funny, you will want to meet her!  Please tell her I said Hello!)



Comments

  1. Drives me insane when people think they are above standing in line!

  2. Wahahahah!! 😀 Thanks for the MOnday morning laugh!

  3. Two good letters!!!

  4. Hahahaha!!!! I am more passive aggressive than I’ll ever admit. These are right up my alley~

  5. Love that! I hate it when I feel like a dude because I can’t quit staring at some overexposed knockers! I feel so sorry for actual dudes who try to be polite and respectful. It’s hard!!!

  6. Totally agreed about Lulu Lemon clad ass I don;t care who you are get in line like the rest of us. Song “What if God was one of Us” coming to mind Let me assure you that you are not god! and bras are required ESPECIALLY in cold buildings and AT WORK!!! It is like must wear shirt and shoes to be served Just saying!

  7. lol….thanks for the laugh. So agree with you on both!!!

  8. ha. at least you could tell directions…like a compass…ha…ok probably not helping there…smiles….ugh, line breakers should be publically shunned…oy

  9. Slights while standing in line will get people fighting faster than pretty much nothing else.

    Funny stuff. Following the link now.

  10. Suzanne Smith says:

    As George Costanza would say “We are LIVING in a SOCIETY here, people” – and yes, I agree, there is a protocol in lining up that needs to be followed or societal breakdown is inevitable. It begins in Tim;s and the next thing you know, Sharknado.

  11. Cutters drive me CRAZY. I always speak up, too. It’s not fair – especially if I’ve put in my time waiting in the line, too. My time is just as valuable.

  12. Sometimes it’s the little…or in this case not so little…things that get us!

  13. LOL….east/west…north/south. 🙂 Funny!

  14. sarah sar says:

    LOL hilarious! Lululemon clad ass! Line cutters drive me up the wall too!

  15. Thanks for this! 🙂

  16. ROFL sadly a small part of me wished I were that tile girl with the big boobs you were addressing that letter too…..

  17. Victoria Ess says:

    Haha! I would have totally moved seats if I was sitting beside that guy!

  18. haha oh gosh! Your passive aggressive letters always make my day!

  19. Haha! I can’t stop looking at people who don’t wear bras. I mean what are they thinking?

  20. ROTFL! I am going to laugh about the east/west boob one for a while!

  21. Anne Taylor says:

    LOLOL (literally) My boobs, are on occassion, crosseyed 😛

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