How NOT To Shop For A Bikini

With the heaviest of sighs and a heart to match I looked around at the 20 bikinis I had discarded and put in my “Hell No” pile and realize, it was time to make a change….

How did I get here? At least once a year I find myself in the most awkward of positions; squeezing my oversize ars into bathing suit after bathing suit, sweating it out as I try and find a new suit for the summer season. I should add, trying to find a new suit and trying not to cry. I am over 40, a proud Mama of two girls, happily married and more then that, happy with my life. Why do I let one stupid shopping trip stress me out this much? Even ruin my day! 

It is time to re-think how I shop for a bikini.

My first set of tips; this is how NOT to shop for a bikini.

*Do not shop for a bikini when you are tired.

* Do not shop for a bikini when you have PMS. With the bloating and the moodiness you are never finding a suit.

*Do not shop for a bikini after having a big old brunch with your adoring Hubby. It might have been the French Toast or the bacon, or that great big glass of OJ, but shopping with a full tummy is not a smart idea. I mean, why not just eat a Turkey Dinner first?  Duh.

*Do not shop for a bikini when you have a headache, this is only going to make the headache worse.

*Some people think you should shop with a friend. Those people would be wrong. How can you cry about the size of your butt in front of your skinny friend. If you simply must bring a shopping buddy, the only kind of friend you can take is a sister type friend.  One who will truly tell you “Nope, that one is not for you.” and then hand you a cupcake.

Do not have unrealistic expectations. Just because you started back up on the treadmill last month and cut out the junk food does not mean your 40 year old bod is gong to look good in bathing suites clearly designed for 20 year olds.  Let it go.

The list of don’ts could go on forever. The list of do’s is much shorter!

Find a suit that covers your bits and pieces, (obviously) but be sure this suit will keep those bits and pieces covered when you walk, jump and play on the beach with your kiddos. Otherwise you might scare some people!

Find a suit in a colour that you love! Or is always slimming right?

Find a fabulous cover-up!

Or forget everything I have said here. Grab whatever suit catches your eye, take it to the cash and check out. Life is too short to obsess about how you look in a bikini, tankini or one piece anymore. Go tan, splash, and play with your loved one’s and enjoy even second of sunshine your body can handle. Be thankful for your health, the giggles and the love and rock the confidence . Still don’t feel good in your new suit?  Fake it till you feel it…after all the prettiest girls are the happy one’s. xoxo




  1. ha. i read this earlier…and i am just glad i can wear shorts…lol…but having a wife i can understand…on that level…smiles.

  2. “The prettiest girls are the happiest girls” yes indeed. I found an old photo of me when I was 18 in a bikini yup those days are gone but I defintley happier:) B

  3. Melissa says:

    I hate bathing suit shopping to… Time to let that go!

  4. Yikes! This just made me realize I haven’t bought a bathing suit in FOREVER and, of course, I may need one next month. *sigh* Why does it have to be so torturous? So, I’ll take your advice – find one that covers everything and forget about the rest of it.

  5. You are so funny. And you always look great, so just wear that bikini with pride girl! 🙂

  6. Soooooooo true! ♥

  7. I used to wear bikinis until I had my last child. Now I’m a tankini kind of gal. 😉

    • Stephanie says:

      Those babies have a way of changing everything! Thank goodness for the invention of the tankni! 🙂

  8. The dreaded bathing suit shop! Yikes! I try to run in pick the first thing on the rack in my size, pray it fits, pay and run out lol…..

  9. Secret mom thoughts says:

    Shopping for swim suits can be depressing. Tankinis are a depression saver.

  10. Loved this, Steph. I am SO there with you on this! 🙂

  11. This is the only time in my life that I would actually wear a bikini, but then I am just over the half way mark in my pregnancy and loving my big baby belly. Normally NEVER wear a bathing suit.

  12. Victoria Ess says:

    Great advice, and I totally agree with the bringing a friend thing. I could not shop for a bathing suit with a friend, but I definitely have friends who love to shop for bikinis with me in tow!

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