How did this happen? How did she go from the little girl with pigtails and ribbons clinging to my leg at the kindergarten drop off, to the confident and somewhat defiant little thing bouncing off arm in arm with a girlfriend? On Wednesday night I watched my beautiful girl load onto a bus for an 18 hour bus ride to a Cheer Competition in another country. With barely a wave goodbye? Sigh. Confident, smiling, a little nervous but truly happy.
In that fleeting moment one thing became crystal clear, I was struggling with my daughter’s impending departure a LOT more then she was. My BlueEyed girl was leaving us for the very first time and to add insult to injury, it was for five long days. Suddenly I felt all kinds of ill prepared. Although thrilled that my daughter was about to go on an incredibly fun trip to Myrtle Beach, I can admit to being just a wee bit nervous to let her go. She is smart, sweet, caring, careful and savvy. She is ready for this kind of adventure. It’s this letting her go thing that is tripping me up.
She may look like this to the world….
but to me she will always look a little bit like this…
So young, so sweet and trusting. So vulnerable. Just my little girl.
As I write this, it’s almost Saturday. I know my BlueEyed Girl is making memories to last a lifetime. Maybe struggling a little bit with being tired and squeezing too many girls into one small space, but having fun. I am forever thankful for iPhones and facetime so we can keep in touch, but it’s not quite the same. I am proud that she is growing up and carving her own path, but I am also left with a bit of sadness in my heart, for this truly feels like the beginning of the end. I can see the road ahead now and it won’t be long before this SassyGirl isn’t butting heads with me in the morning, or reaching out to me for help, soon she will be off to University and making her own way in this crazy and competitive world. Truth is, I may be ready for this first trip away from home, it’s just that I know this little bit of growing up and taste of adventure is about to turn into so much more. Can someone please, press pause?
I’m just not ready for her to wave good bye.