I Made Her Wave Goodbye

How did this happen?  How did she go from the little girl with pigtails and ribbons clinging to my leg at the kindergarten drop off, to the confident and somewhat defiant little thing bouncing off arm in arm with a girlfriend?  On Wednesday night I watched my beautiful girl load onto a bus for an 18 hour bus ride to a Cheer Competition in another country.  With barely a wave goodbye?  Sigh.  Confident, smiling, a little nervous but truly happy. 

In that fleeting moment one thing became crystal clear, I was struggling with my daughter’s impending departure a LOT more then she was.  My BlueEyed girl was leaving us for the very first time and to add insult to injury, it was for five long days.  Suddenly I felt all kinds of ill prepared.  Although thrilled that my daughter was about to go on an incredibly fun trip to Myrtle Beach, I can admit to being just a wee bit nervous to let her go.  She is smart, sweet, caring, careful and savvy.  She is ready for this kind of adventure.  It’s this letting her go thing that is tripping me up. 

She may look like this to the world….

BlueEyes2012

but to me she will always look a little bit like this…

  BlueEyed2BlueEyedGirl

So young, so sweet and trusting.  So vulnerable.  Just my little girl. 

As I write this, it’s almost Saturday.  I know my BlueEyed Girl is making memories to last a lifetime.  Maybe struggling a little bit with being tired and squeezing too many girls into one small space, but having fun.  I am forever thankful for iPhones and facetime so we can keep in touch, but it’s not quite the same.  I am proud that she is growing up and carving her own path, but I am also left with a bit of sadness in my heart, for this truly feels like the beginning of the end.  I can see the road ahead now and it won’t be long before this SassyGirl isn’t butting heads with me in the morning, or reaching out to me for help, soon she will be off to University and making her own way in this crazy and competitive world.  Truth is, I may be ready for this first trip away from home, it’s just that I know this little bit of growing up and taste of adventure is about to turn into so much more.  Can someone please, press pause?  

I’m just not ready for her to wave good bye.



Comments

  1. oh goodness…i dont need to read this…smiles….i think i would take it worse if i had girls…pretty sure i would get in legal trouble…ha…

  2. I hope she has a blast! She’s gorgeous! =)

  3. Oh my dear friend – I totally understand – prayers and hugs to you! sandie

  4. Can you use a (((HUG)))…..

  5. There’s no pausing. I sear to you I had my first baby a few years ago. He’s in college now and was teling me last night that his girlfriend has moved in with him. How? How did we we get here so fast?

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  9. She is a stunning young lady!

  10. She’s not saying goodbye…she’s just independant like her momma!! That’s a good thing. But you still made me cry! Hugs

  11. Oh this made me tear up…only because I know how you feel. I’m sorry to say, it only goes faster as the years go by.

    But, Myrtle Beach (almost my neck of the woods) means that she will have a blast.

    Sending you hugs – it’s not easy to watch them grow up and away.

  12. Oh gosh, I feel your sadness, I’m struggling with my baby girl getting bigger month by month let alone off on an excursion. How will I cope? Your sassy girl is lucky to have a sassy mum, who has prepared her for this special moment.

  13. Oh dear friend, my heart ached when I read this. It might help to know that my own “little girl” was texting furiously in the grocery store last night, and when I asked who she was talking to, it was your dd. 🙂 I casually asked if she was having a good time, and the response was all positive, complete with a couple of photos.<3

  14. Oh…..it is so darn hard for us. I think it’s not as hard for our girls to spread their wings though. I hope she is having a great time. Gosh…she is just beautiful!!!!!

  15. Aw! This post reminds me when I left home for a long trip abroad. It was the first of many steps in my journey into being completely independent. I’m sure my parents felt the same as you’re feeling, which I think is normal, but it still doesn’t make it easier, I’m sure. Your daughter has grown to be so beautiful! I’m sure she’s having a blast and will be home before you realize and probably raving about her trip as soon as possible.

  16. Ohhh no matter how hard we try we just can’t slow down that clock!! Hope she is having a wonderful time 🙂

  17. You’re truly going to make me cry, Steph! I don’t want this day to come for me, but I know it will eventually, like it did for you… letting go is so hard. My five year old went to a birthday party solo last weekend and that was hard enough! Yes, please–where IS that pause button? 🙁
    Hugs!! xo

  18. Anonymous says:

    She is a very smart, well behaved and polite young lady! She had a blast and made so many memories. Room check Sunday night I approach the room to hear Jalnas name being screamed and approach the door to see them chasing each other 🙂 thanks for letting her go -Coach Jamie

  19. I am sure she had good memories. The journey on the bus ride was probably just as much fun.

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