I’m Not That Mom

How did it become my job to clean up this mess, that mess, and what ever the hell that substance is I just found stuck to the kitchen floor?

Who put me in charge of laundry, dishes, dog hair removal, postal pick-up, bathroom cleaning, menu planning and grocery shopping?

How did it become my job to rouse all the people in my house each day with a smile plastered on my face?

To double check homework.

To make lunches.

To carpool EVERYWHERE.

To keep on top of internet usage and computer time.

To know who you are talking to on that cell phone, and who’s texting you. 

To be the one to say “NO you can’t wear that to school”, and to get you to think about why you would really want to? 

To remind you to always be kind, to put others first, to think before you speak.

To teach you and remind myself  to just let some stuff roll off your back.

To choose fruit over crap, and sorry no cake for breakfast.  I kinda suck that way.

Sometimes.  Sometimes?  I want to be the Mom who says  “Let’s have cookies for breakfast!”  “Let’s skip school and runaway!”  To declare that we are going to shut out the world, put ourselves first, and be meaner then the mean girls to teach them a big fat lesson!  To let my kids stay up all night.  No rules!!  Then I remember. I’m not that Mom, because I’m not raising those kids.  I’m not creating those people.  I’m endeavouring to create happy, healthy responsible and fulfilled individuals who know right from wrong and who are okay with that. 

Turns out this Mama gig?  It’s not all glamour and fun, sometimes to earn the sweet rewards of happy, fabulous, caring people, you are forced to worry, you have to do a little craptastic work and say NO. A lot.

It’s just sometimes. Sometimes? I wish my job, was a little closer to the beach.  Just saying.


  1. I think it becomes your job the moment you give birth (or sign the adoption papers, as the case may be). It’s a tough gig. Nobody warns you, but would you have listened anyway?

  2. You made me laugh this morning. Thank you. B

  3. Amen, sister! I always tell my husband I am jealous of him b/c he often gets to play the fun parent to my drill sergeant parent!

  4. I have much respect for the moms out there–it is a no win job.

    We dads are very lucky, and though they don’t realize it until years later, the kids are as well.

  5. funny…have had this conversation several times the last couple days….on how there is a generation that wants to raise children as their friends and how that is back firing…

    though occassionally i do have the cookie for breakfast…smiles…but seldom enough to make it special…

  6. It’s tough to be that mom. But it’s good to have a cookie for breakfast, or the occasional backwards day of desert first 😉

  7. Oh I hear you sister. And it’s hard. BUT WORTH IT. FInally I have 20 YOs who are pretty awesome. And when they were younger I often said, ‘You know it would be a lot easier to say YES and not care and let you skip school or be a jerk or eat crap. Caring is a lot harder.” Yes I was that mom who said NO to PG13 movies until they were….13. And you know what? They have often thanked me for that and my many other RULES! You Go Girl!

  8. I know..it is hard being the bad guy but luckily my hubby is on board with me!

  9. Yeah……a beach would help. A warm one. With Mai Tai’s. 🙂

  10. Rousing people with a smile plastered on my face. Once I get through that horridness, the rest of the day gets easier. xo

  11. Being a teacher, I wish more moms said no. When I say it, it’s like the first time my students have heard it. I don’t want to be their mom too. Good Job!

  12. I allow myself to eat some chocolate before breakfast on Christmas and my birthday. Otherwise, it’s granola and yogurt all the way.
    I chose to be the mom I am, but I have to remake that choice to be there 100 percent for my kids every day when there is so much vying for my attention. But it’s worth it. Our 19 year old came home for Christmas and he’s a REALLY NICE GUY!

  13. I’ve been wondering the same thing for years. It was even worse here because my son spent his weekends with his dad, who did nothing but spoil him on the weekends (probably thanks to some Daddy Guilt). He got to be Fun Dad for 2 days a week, while I was Mean Mom 7 days a week!!

  14. Sending you a big, old hug! I remember being that mom…the mean one and it’s NOT easy. But it works. And believe me when I tell you it will be worth it. Now, if we could only get the rest of the world on board – imagine just how wonderful this world would be if all these children grew up with boundaries? Keep up the good work!

  15. You are full of it. You can be the cookie Mom, I know it. You are awesome, my friend!

  16. Yup. And I am so very very far from a beach!

  17. I haven’t really hit that stage yet. Our kids still think we’re the best thing since sliced bread. Though I must say…cookies for breakfast…that’s okay every once in a while! 🙂

    Thanks for the lovely comment on my blog. My dad is doing much better now.

  18. Oh, so true. Being a mom is not an easy job, and not always fun. If you’re lucky, you’ll be a grandmother some day. Then you can bring out the cookies for breakfast!

  19. I don’t want to be that mum either, but boy it’s hard. I have to remind myself often that I’m not here to be their best friend I’m here to be their mum. However once or twice every summer on a really hot day, I let them have icecream for dinner.

  20. Oh, yes. And what’s a beach? I don’t remember any more. And uh, they do get older and it does get easier. Now my eighteen year old tells my youngest this stuff so I don’t have to be the only one.

    Stay strong, it’s worth it!!

  21. You’ve been doing a great job for 14 yrs plus! You set the bar high for the rest of us. Great post Sassy!!

  22. YES!! It is the hardest job ever. Someone once told me being a grandma is getting to be the parent you never could…meaning you get to be the “yes man” instead of the no! 😉

  23. Yes that is my life too and to think my kids are almost adults and still nothing has changed makes me exhausted just thinking about it. Solidarity in numbers – women unit! Tee Hee just feel good saying that.

  24. I agree….it is such work to do it properly. But worth it.
    And if you want to visit the beach, all you have to do is get your butts to my house. 🙂

  25. It’s the “what is the substance stuck on the kitchen floor” part that I think I’d not be so fond of!

  26. Maybe pick one thing to say yes to every couple days? Think it would help? No idea…but maybe it’d be a little closer to the beach:)

  27. I think you right, everything is better at the beach…..

  28. I SO hear you. It truly is the hardest job there is.

  29. As I read blogs with laundry going, a kid cleaning his room, dinner cooking, lunch tomorrow being packed, backpacks being checked…I AGREE!

  30. seems we are the only ones who even SEE the laundry, the dishes, and whatever the hell is stuck to the kitchen floor….
    worth the job anyway.

  31. It’s tough that’s for sure. I really had no idea that it would be this way… honestly. But I think it’s ok to have cookies for breakfast and to skip school to go to the beach sometimes (once a year maybe? hahaha). A little rule-breaking and fun will make for well-rounded people. It’s nice to let go sometimes and to show your kids that you are not all about rules and routines. 🙂

  32. Great post loved it! As the momma to 10 I’ve had this gig for a Long time, I am always shocked at all the “fine print” I missed when I signed up for this 🙂 beach trips…lots of them… help!

  33. Love this post!
    So very very true!

    And I do wish also that we were a bit closer to the beach! 🙂

  34. I soooo hear ya’ on this one!! When did I become responsible for everyone else in this house?!:)

  35. I’m too often the “cookies for breakfast” mom when things get to be too much. Good for you for not buckling!

  36. kathy downey says:

    Thanks,i certainly enjoy reading your post.Stand firm.

Speak Your Mind (Rest assured, email addresses will not be shared)