Sparky Hair Cuts, Backoutitis and Death Stares From Men in Suits

Did you ever have one of those weekends where you feel like someone is watching you.  To be more specific, that someone is perhaps the crew of Candid Camera? 

To sum up the past few days, this weekend was fast and odd.  We may have gained an extra hour, but clearly I should have spent it in bed. 

On top of the normal chaos of dance, Cheer and Volleyball Tourneys, we added a computer crashing at Hubby’s work and all the phones going down.  Why did this happen? Was it because Hurricane Sandy made it this far north and blew trees down and squashed his office?  No it is not.  It’s because our General Manager needed a hair cut.  Yep, a hair cut.  So the ever helpful book keeper volunteered to cut said hair right there in the office.  Um Gross!  Clearly this was not well thought out!  The result of a hair cut in an office full of RUGS and COMPUTERS is the need for copious amounts of vacuuming. Apparently copious amounts of vacuuming leads to a great big bang….and a few sparks?  This bang burns out phones, security and all computers go down.  Huh.  Not such a cheap and easy hair cut now!  Expensive sigh. 

Hours spent sorting out the hair vs. vacuum disaster leads to the need for retail therapy.  Time to hit the mall!  On a Saturday?  Rookie mistake.  Everyone goes to the mall on a Saturday.  This my friends is where I was finally diagnosed with backoutitis. You see, it is my theory that when driving an SUV the size of a small tank, and entering a very over crowded mall parking lot, the best plan of attack is to find a big ass parking spot and back into it.  I’m great at backing in.  Thus eliminating all fear that I will be blocked into said spot, and unable to free myself from the parking lot. Somewhere through the years I have developed a major case of “What if I get into that spot, come out of the mall or grocery store and am parked next to a “TOO CLOSE PARKER and can’t get out!”  This never happens if you are backed into a spot.  Hubby thinks I am insane, I told him not to laugh at people with backoutitis.  It’s a thing.  Respect it. 

After hours of shopping at the mall, finding boots for SweetGirl and shoes for the Hubby it was time to go.  Having left the mall without spending a single penny on myself, I truly deserved a reward!  Take out for dinner!

As our family of four once again unloaded from our giant SUV my youngest said something that had me laugh OUT LOUD.  Very, very loud.  Unfortunately at this moment, a rather dapper looking young man in a full on suit was fighting a free fall.  Seems he tripped over his own two feet and was sailing towards the concrete at the exact moment my SweetGirl was getting her comic on.  The result; a death stare from suit guy.  Me yelling “Oh dear no!  I wasn’t laughing at him…uh you…oh no!!”  Followed by more death stare.  Instead of me clearing up things with Suit Man, I was just making it worse.   Much worse!  This lead to hysterics from Hubby, both dear daughters and a couple of not so innocent on-lookers.  Apology fail. 

I hung my head, admitting defeat.  Suit guy did not believe in my innocence. I promptly took out my despair on a double chocolaty milk shake.  It helped a little.  I’m so not the laughing at a guy sailing towards the concrete kind of girl.  Not out loud anyway!

Some weekends are just better spent in bed. 

PS  Sorry suit guy


  1. Haha! I love it. You deserve a treat today! Have a good week Stephanie!

  2. Too funny. That milkshake was well deserved.

  3. O dear it’s always when you shouldn’t laugh that you just can’t stop yourself 🙂

  4. oh my…too funny….smiles…def something that would happen to me…smiles

  5. LOL Poor suit man 🙂

  6. Wow, that was some hair cut! Not such a great idea after all, hmm, office people?

    At least all your weekend escapades made for a great blog post!

  7. LOVE IT.
    P.s I always laugh when people fall. It’s awful. I need to stop doing it.

  8. No point holding in the laughter. He already thought you were laughing at him anyway. ;p

  9. Oh crap in a way this makes me smile ONLY because this means this crap doesn’t only happen to me! I’m famous for the smile wave oh crap that wasn’t for me I’m going to pretend that I’m stretching!

  10. Oh that’s hilarious about the guy in the suit!

  11. I’ve been reading you for a while now and I would have been on your side. You do don’t seem the kind to laugh at a falling down man!
    PS Chocolate Milkshakes make everything better!

  12. Sh*t! You had my luck for the day!!!

  13. BACKOUTITIS! Thank you. I knew someone had diagnosed it! Whew glad I am not alone.

  14. I too suffer from backoutitis AND pullthroughitis. If I can do either one, then I will!

  15. I have the same thing about parking lots – I much prefer being able to back into a space, even if it takes e several tries.

  16. Why is it that our crack ups always happen at inappropriate times? LOL.

  17. Oh dear I have backoutitis also maybe it is a Canadian girl driving an SUV thingy. Sorry about the suit guy but a chocolate shake when you have a strange day is good it makes me happy too:) B

  18. I want a milkshake now! The office sparks are just too funny…….as stressful as it must have been…….it made me laugh. And of course the laughing at the same time the guy was tripping was hysterical!

  19. Oh what a weekend! and yes, the hair cutting in the office was gross. Shopping for our family seems to be the fad for mommies:)

  20. I would’ve thought the exact same thing suit guy did. Oh wellllllll

  21. Poor suit guy…

  22. Timing is everything, so sorry it didn’t turn out very well! I know you wouldn’t laugh at a guy falling down. I have a friend who always backs into parking spaces!

  23. I’m impressed that you kept all that in your head to retell it! I haven’t been inside the mall in at least a year!

  24. This is making me grin so hard! It sounds like something I would do. And I always back into a parking spot. duh!

  25. You deserve more than a chocolate milkshake my friend.
    As a former fellow driver of SUV’s, I totally get your backoutitis. I’ve struggled more than once on ‘getting’ out of a parking spot. Backing in is the best way!

Speak Your Mind (Rest assured, email addresses will not be shared)