Man Hearing

She coughs.

He doesn’t hear it.

The dog is barking at the back door.

He does not hear it.

I clatter and bang as I do the dishes after dinner.

He is oblivious.

The phone rings.

There is no movement from the couch.

Trees scrape off the windows, the wind howls outside and lightening cracks.

He just. keeps. snoring.

How is it that a man who does not hear a sick child in the night, an animal who whines incessantly, an angry wife slamming doors, a phones shrill ring, or a squeaking sound coming from outside that may or may not be a serial killer….can hear you whisper the word sex from 100 yards away? 

Oh yah. I tested it.  The dude has a bad case of Man Hearing. 


  1. Haha, interesting how that works. Talk about selective hearing.

  2. smiles.

    i dunno.

  3. Amen!

  4. I knew that I was going to be in trouble for reading this. You can add to my list of selective hearing that I can hear and quickly respond to any hint of criticism from 3 rooms away.

    Enjoy your weekend Stephanie.

  5. *sigh* Soooooooo true!

  6. This is so true.

    I can also remind my husband of a converstion we have had and have him tell me he wan’t listening.

  7. This is so so true. Especially the part about the snoring.

  8. Kills me. Especially the tuning out of ringing phones. C’mon guys!

  9. *sigh* MEN!

  10. Hysterical!

  11. I just tried 200 feet. Same results.

  12. Lol! That is hilarious. Did you follow it with, I just wanted to see if you were listening? 🙂

  13. Could be hard of hearing… or could be… just because he’s a man! 😉 Ha!

  14. Men and selective hearing, lol.

  15. It’s an epidemic, Stephanie!

  16. You made me laugh out loud this was so funny and surprisingly accurate. B

  17. Oh they can hear it all they just choose to ignore it. I have tested the slamming stuff and when questioning him he replied “you were mad I wasn’t going near you”.

  18. HA!!!! The story of my life. *men pffffftttt*

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