I have something here today I rarely do, a guest post. Why would I put a guest post on my blog? Well, because this blogger is ridiculously funny, and a must read my friends! Do you know Bored Mommy? What! You don’t! Well here is my gift to you today. A little bit of funny from a sweet girl that you are going to want to follow!
How to Break the Ice with Other Mothers
I’m not a relationship expert, but I am willing to fake being one for you, here, now.
In my eyes, there are two types of Mothers at the playground – the ones that want to talk to you and the ones who don’t.
I won’t tell you what kind of Mom I am, but I’m never without my iPhone, book or imaginary friend so that should tell you something.
Actually, I really don’t have a problem talking with other people, and I can easily start a conversation with anyone about anything. It’s a gift. But for some reason, I find my kids’ school one of those places where the gift doesn’t apply. Also, the playground is all kinds of painful when it comes to trying to make conversation with total strangers.
But fear not, because I am here to offer my help to you so you are ready when approaching other Mommies.
First off, here are some things you should never say when trying to approach another mom on a playground (or anywhere really):
· ”Hi, how are you? Pull my finger.”
· “I noticed the sun reflecting off your facial hair, and thought I would come say hi!”
· “I’m here to judge your choices. Let’s be friends.”
· “I’m pretty sure we were besties in a past life, so I guess you’ve been waiting for me?”
And some examples of things you should never do:
· Take a running start toward her screaming, “CHEST BUMP! BEST FRIENDS CHEST BUMP!”
· Give them a purple nurple, without asking first. (Proper protocol: Ask first, purple nurple second).
· Point out how dirty, out of control, annoying their kids are. (Amateur! That’s crap you do in the privacy of your own home!)
Now that we’ve cleared that up, some advice on successful Mommy ice breakage that is guaranteed to work. (Fyi: guaranteed in this instance means maybe, probably or who the hell knows but give it the ol’ college try dammit).
· Offer them some of your Starbucks i.v.
· Spare them stories about the last time you had a hemorrhoid.
· Share your cardigan with them.
· Let them take the first sip of your Diet Coke.
· Smile until your face hurts.
· Shake hands firmly – leave the limpy, dead fish handshake at home.
· Oh, and don’t tell them you were just featured on Hoarders last week…..let them discover that for themselves.
Because you care.
LOL Told you!!
Find my beautiful friend here: BORED Mommy