Oh don’t you wish this story was going to be all scandal in the suburbs? Pft. This is not that kind of blog! However….
This one night, after a couple of generous drinks with good friends in a hot tub, the hubby and I were feeling the love. You know, the “I love the world”, “I love your kids”, “I love the gorgeous sky”, “I love you man”. Kind of feeling the love. Lots of love. Just as our blood pressure was reaching an all time low, and the alcohol in the blood stream was reaching an all time high, the four of us came up with the BEST idea ever! We would combine our two wild families and all rent a house together in Florida!!
Bonding, family, fun, sunshine and more hot tub! It was decided. We were doing it!
The next morning, after the Baileys on ice was good and worn off, and the Advil was starting to kick in, I realized the gravity of what I had just done. I had just agreed to spend an entire week sunbathing, swimming, and tanning it up with freakin Barbie and Ken!
I adore my good friends, freakin Barbie and Ken, but do they have to be quite so perfect and beautiful?
So now I needed to make a decision, come up with a plan of action.
I laid out my options.
A) Spend the next 25 days starving myself,
setting a horrible example for my daughters and hope and pray I could lose a quick 8 to 10 lbs.
B) Find some kind of miracle Bathing suit..and some fancy ass cover ups.
C) Jump back into that hot tub and pray for a “Hot Tub time machine” moment so I could go back in time and get out of this situation!
D) Start dropping by Barbie and Ken’s house daily with homemade Lasagne’s and baked goods, and try and fatten those two up!
E) Say screw it, buy some rose coloured sunglasses, a ton of Baileys, ban all cameras around the pool, forget the Mummy Tummy and try not to look directly at the perfection that is Barbie and Ken.
So what is an insecure girl to do? Guess I’m going with plan E with maybe a dash of B.
Sigh…worrying sucks. I wonder if the Barbie and Ken’s of the world ever sweat it?