My House Smells of Dog Vomit and Mom Fail

Friday morning we awoke to the most pleasant of surprises.  A big old pile of doggy vomit.  After a quick check on the pouch to make sure she was okay, the dry heaving began.  By me.  There are few things more disgusting then piles of chunky dog puke to start your day.  Hero Hubby saved the day by cleaning up the vile mess. I did my part by scowling at the dog and lighting vanilla scented candles.  Why must dogs eat piles of their own poop?  Don’t they know it’s going to make them yak?

The rest of Friday remained uneventful.

I kept the vanilla candles burning.

Saturday rolled on past at the speed of lightening.

Enter Sunday, the day the stench of doggy vomit was over powered by the rancid stink of parent fail.  Let me back up a bit.  Hubby had been working all weekend, so I was running our ship solo.  The weekend had consisted of running kids to birthday parties, running mundane errands, shopping, cleaning and the dreaded laundry.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  What was out of the ordinary was the ridiculous insomnia I’ve been experiencing.  The worrying about all that I have on my plate that was simply not going to get done, and the craptastic conversation I had recently had with both a girlfriend and a co-worker.  Girl drama sucks no matter how old you are.  Throw in a headache, a rib out of place, and we have the possibility of the perfect storm.

The perfect storm arrived in the form of a teenage girl.

I took my teen girl shopping and she literally dragged her feet through the mall…it wouldn’t have more difficult if I’d been dragging her through the previously mentioned dog vomit.  That was fun.  later, asked her to let the dog out, she ignored me.  Requested she grab me a piece of paper, she once again found away around it… in a perfectly normal teenage style.  Showed her some new nail polishes I picked up for us to play with in Florida.  You know for some good Mama/Daughter bonding time. When she asked if she could use them right then and there, my quite unreasonable answer was, not right now, they are for Florida.   So ten minutes later when I walked into the kitchen and saw her painting her ten little digits in Gone Gonzo blue with polka dots….I was over the top mad and truthfully more then a little sad.    

OPI Gone Gonzo

I snapped, slammed a door or two and stomped my way upstairs before the snapping could turn to screaming, and slamming doors turn into tears.  PMS?  The straw that broke the camels back?  Headache?  Rib pain?  I don’t know. There was simply no excuse for my ridiculous over reaction and blatant parent fail. 

Slamming that door did not make me feel better, but truthfully, it didn’t make me feel worse.  Maybe this is why toddlers throw themselves on the floor and scream their bloody heads off.  RELEASE.

Sigh. After a Mommy time out  couple of minutes I came back downstairs…the smell of my parent fail stinking up the kitchen. I explained to my sullen faced daughter that my stompy slammy nearly crying reaction was not about nail polish.  Well it was about nail polish, but it was so much more.  We talked about mutual respect and hugged it out.  I think she heard me.

She smiled, then we painted our nails. 

No one ever said surviving life in the suburbs would be easy. 

Feel free to send coffee and wine.


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  1. I completely understand the slamming of doors, I do this too. Just helps relieve the tension and no one gets hurt. My daughter (3yrs) is learning to hold her morning demands for milk/breakfast until I have a coffee cup in hand.

  2. Aw, Steph. Being a mom is the most challenging and enjoying job ever. And it’s okay to need a time out. Happens to all of us, sweetie. You’re an amazing mom! xo

  3. Being a mom is deinfitely not easy! But you handled it beautifully by going back to your daughter and explaining yourself. Well done!

    And I can top doggy puke–mine gets the occasional doggy diarrhea. It’s lovely.

  4. The saying, “When it rains, it pours” seems to be true ALL too often.

    YAY for hugging – and nail-polishing – it out!

  5. ok i dry heaves a bit at eating your own crap…ugh….blech…i am glad you came back together in the end and had some bonding time over nail polish

  6. Hugging it out is so awesome, the stuff before not so much….this is my house and the girls are just 6&8.
    I’m in trouble

  7. That’s usually how it happens for me. Just builds and builds until I explode. I’m sorry…that stinks. Sending hugs and coffee and lots and lots of wine.

  8. Loosing it on a teenager seems so much more reasonable than being frustrated wtih a toddler(who really doesn’t know better, cue the mommy fail over here).. But sleep, or no sleep, does make us. Bit crazy.

    For the insomnia, melatonin supplement, sounds crzy but take it from one insomniac to another, it helps.

  9. There has been more than a little over-reacting and door slamming going on around here with teenage boy as well. You are not alone, just remember that:)

  10. Sometimes you need a good door slam. Glad you are feeling better now. Love the nail polish color too.

  11. The good news is that immediately you realized you were having a temper tantrum and you dealt with it. You had a great discussion about what really caused it, and I love that you ended up by painting nails together!

  12. Sending you some virtual wine & cupcakes cause I feel you pain 🙂

    We are living with a tween here and the ignoring and moodiness etc has also started here. And let me tell you I sometimes feel like a total failure as a mom but then it all blows over and it’s all good again.

  13. Hey…don’t be so tough on yourself! You are the best Mom….ever!! And I agree..sometimes you need a good door slam. Look what a great bonding experience you had in the end.

  14. So sorry about all of it. We have all been there and done that! I do think the polish looks awesome. How does it look on the nails?

  15. Loved the post. I too am surviving the years–wine and chocolate are staples. Chin up.


  16. Yep, it’s wine and chocolate that you need. And maybe a few days away from it all. And I can only say this because I’m right there with you. Sigh.

  17. I think you handled it well. I probably would have lost my marbles a little or actually cried. Last night my daughter told her stepmother via facetime that I don’t let my kids call their dad. I had a mini freak, but instead of losing my mind where her step mom could here, I made her hand the ipod to her brother, asked her when I’ve ever done that and told her that saying such a thing was hurtful not only to me, but to her dad and stepmom and that she needed to be careful. But then after she went to bed, I realized that if that truly is her perception, I made her feel like she did something wrong, so we’ll have to have a chat today.

  18. Oh I’m so not looking forward to the teen years. I have a melt down often enough with little ones!

  19. awwww. i totally get it! 🙁

    want me to bake you some cookies? 🙂

  20. As far as parenting fails go, I think this one was pretty minor. You did great!

  21. Being a Mom is hard…being a really good Mom is way harder! You are allowed to have a hissy fit at times….it is better than throwing a nice piece of china through the room.
    I want to come over and paint my nails too!!!

  22. I had a mommy fail when I screamed at my 4 yr old the other day. He likes to spit purposely to annoy us. Guess what? It works! Well, after he did it for the umpteenth time, I yelled at him, then cried because I AM SO MEAN! Mommy fail!

  23. Hoo boy. We’ve all been there. It is better the stomp and slam than many of the other options. You felt it all coming on and knew how to defuse. I think you did great. xo

  24. I know how you feel. I can’t stand having to wipe up dog barf. Another thing is that drool that hangs from their mouths. I dry heave when I have to wipe that off my dog after she’s been playing with other dogs.

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