Crap, I Think I’ve Out Grown Cosmo

Each and every Christmas my Hubby can be counted on to top up my stock of girly magazines.  (you know mindless reading magazines!  Get you minds out of the gutter)  The old faithful that is always stuffed into the stocking is my Cosmopolitan magazine.  Usually within the week I have devoured the magazine from cover to cover.  I mean, I can’t justify spending money on the trashy mags for myself but if they are a gift, I have to read them right?

Well here it is creeping up to the end of February and I finally found the time to open that bad boy up.  The problem, it made me sad!  

“Catchy” article titles like:

The Touch That Locks Down His Love

Dates He’ll Be Psyched to Go On

Downright Epic Décolletage

Look Amazing The Morning After

….no longer appeal to me.  You know why?  I don’t care!! Why not?

I’d much prefer articles with titles like this:

The Look That Will Make Him Take The Garbage Out

Play Dates He Won’t Moan About and Maybe Even Lend a Hand

Cleavage Is Over Rated, Rock What You’ve Got

and even

Teach Him To Think You’re Gorgeous with No Make-up

and Yoga Pants

Sigh.  I guess the reality is, I’m getting old. I figure I know all the sex tricks I’m going to need, I have no time for games, and if my “décolletage” doesn’t look good enough to him after birthing two of his giant babies and nursing them both…. well he can suck it. 

Guess next Christmas I’ll ask for some Oprah or Martha Stewart Living!

Mwah!

 

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Comments

  1. smiles…happens to the best of us…

  2. Love it. So true that you can only read cliches for so long when the cliches have no relationship to reality! Men have the same issues with their ‘girly magazines’ you know! LOL

  3. Yes! I used to love Cosmo and thought I was so grown up and sophisticated reading it. Now it just seems trashy and shallow. Boy have my interests changed!

  4. I outgrew it about a year ago. Was a sad day. I have yet to find a decent replacement.

  5. I remember the day I outgrew Cosmo, it was in the mtl airport, I was traveling for work, I was tired, I picked it up, and was immodestly bored(I then purchased vogue so I could look at all the pretty pictures).

  6. Hilarious! I haven’t read Cosmo in years, but I spontaneously picked up the January copy while waiting in line at the grocery store. I felt the same way…it was hard to find an article I could relate to. 🙂

  7. Hahahaha…so funny! I to have a subscription to Cosmo…and I think I threw the last one out without reading it. LOL. It’s just a reminder that I’m an old married lady now with two little munchkins.

  8. I canceled my subscriptions two years ago because I realized I didn’t care. Martha Stewart, however, is something I can dive into. 🙂

  9. All those articles are meant to increase your ability to snag and keep a man. You’ve won that battle, for better or worse! LOL If you do find an article about no make up and yoga pants, please share here. IN NEED! 🙂

  10. Love the article titles you came up with. Much more my style.

  11. So true, my Cosmo days are over. Sort of nice to have bigger things to worry about than our cleavage these days.

  12. Same here. And? I have a 9 year old boy in the house, and if catches sight of it, he wants to know what the heck the cover stories are about. I tried to turn it over, but the pic on the back was almost worse. I threw them instead (fine, recycled. I hate waste.)

  13. I’m starting to wonder what’s wrong with me that I have never read that magazine?

    I’m pretty sure I’m like a grandmother though. I’m quite content to curl up with a Family Circle or Woman’s Day.

  14. Preach it, sista! I find Redbook to be a nice transition between Cosmo and Old Lady Homebody magazine. It still has some of the fun stuff but seems to be geared for those of us over 25. Although Living is still very nice!

  15. Lol! Yep, our priorities definitely do change. Luckily my husband really still seems to like my barely there saggy boobs still.

  16. I definitely would have to agree.

  17. I definitely would have to agree.

  18. Yup, I’ve outgrown it too. If I buy a magazine I tend to reach for First or Better Homes and Gardens. I have gotten soooo boring!

  19. I’d subscribe again if your articles were in Cosmo! I stopped reading when Cosmo wrote an article on why it’s okay to cheat with a married man while his wife is pregnant. (????!!!!)That is messed up.

  20. I never got the whole ‘cosmo’ thing before…move over to Oprah or MS, you’ll learn something useful. 🙂
    xo

  21. Fun post! I do still enjoy looking into a Seventeen magazine.

  22. I so agree!

  23. Hahaha! I haven’t picked up Cosmo in a million years. I imagine that I would actually enjoy reading for comedic relief.

  24. I can totally relate, lol.

  25. Sooo funny! I don’t know when I stopped liking it but I do know that every time I have a hair appointment the young girls are trying to give me these kind of mags to read but inevitably I have to go change it for a copy of House & Home or Vegetarian Times;)

  26. bwahahaha! this was me realizing this about a week ago! I got a cosmo as part of my valentine gift…and my first instinct was eek omg selena gomez is on the cover?! does her mother know about this?!….and then well…i haven’t even touched the thing yet and it’s a week later! sigh.

  27. I used to love Cosmo too! Now I love Self and Architectural Digest and Food and Wine. How times have changed!

  28. I have recently come to the same conclusion, although I still like People Magazine. (I confess).

  29. My sister works on Cosmo here, I went through her stash when I last visited her and realised our love is well and truly over!! Sibling love or not, I cannot relate anymore.

  30. it is not crap..it is time to be happy!! cosmo is what is crap?! Dirty little secrets to keep your boyfriend happy is NOT what makes a person happy..and makes the boyfriend “happy” for like 15 minutes.

  31. Totally know what you mean! I want some interior design magazines more now!

  32. I’m with ya on this one! I have no interest in it anymore! I had a yearly subscription and to be completely honest I had more fun stacking the magazines in order so I could see what the picture was on the spine of the magazines, rather then reading the inside…haha. I think for the most part, the articles are just recycled information that is done slightly different then the issue before. I’d much rather read real simple or Style at Home and get some tips I could really use. Rather then figuring out how to get my man to love me without make up. If he doesn’t love me without make up yet….we are in biggggggg trouble! -Great post! Thanks 🙂 -Kate

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