Tips For Surviving A Sleep Over In The Suburbs

1.  First, we need to change the name of these damn things.  These events are in no way “Sleep” overs.  “Stay” screaming, giggling, eating, being as loud as humanely possibly overs.  This would be much more accurate! 

2.  Caffeine is required.  New rule for a more civilized suburb society:  If you take your daughter to one of these “Stay” overs, take along a cup of coffee for the stressed out hostess, she’s gonna need it.   (and quite possibly develop a super mad girl crush on you)

3.  Food.  You think you have enough?  You don’t.  Pre-teen girls are like pit bulls.  Cute and innocent looking on the outside, much like a starving pack of wild animals when put together in a pack.  All the gossiping, laughing and random dancing makes them bottomless pits. 

4.  Stock up on Tylenol, Advil or whatever is your current headache drug of choice.  If the ear splitting rendition of 12 girls singing along to “Fat Bottom Girls they make the rockin girls go round!!” Glee style doesn't get you, all the head shaking from the “I can’t believe I just heard that.” to “Did they just eat 6 pizzas, 3 bags of chips, a giant bowl of popcorn and a platter of fruit?” will.  Promise. 

5.  Prepare yourself for a reality check.  You know how you secretly think you are kind of a cool Mom?  You know firm but friendly and often with good hair?  Well, at about 2:15am when it is getting noticeably louder instead of dying down to a dull roar, this perception of yourself will be changed in a big bad way.  You will no longer be a cool Mom. Sadness.  You will be the Mom going down two flights of stairs in your Lulu yoga pants (cool Mom) all stompy like to tell those girls it is time to “SHOOSH” ( uncool Mom)  Being a grown up is hard.  

6.  LAST.  The next morning when you have served waffles, bacon, fruit and three kinds of juice to an extra ten bleary eyed girls and you are feeling kinda proud, and slightly victorious for making it through the night unscathed….DON’T!  The worst part of the “Stay” over is yet to come ~ the emotional, teary eyed, exhausted, refused to take a nap because she is a teenager now and doesn’t need one part!!  Deep breath. 

Ahhh, isn’t life grand!