Coffee With A Girlfriend and A Dirty Old Man?

Today I finally had time to sit and get caught up with a girlfriend.  Granted, that coffee was in the middle of a busy mall food court, but this still counts as quality girl time! 

As with all girl chats, we started with the polite chat before we got into the good stuff.  You know; how are we really doing, how are the kids, what is making us want to pull our hair out or cry bittersweet tears.  Oh, and maybe a little bit of gossip too!  Anyway, just as we start getting down to it, a gentleman who I would guess to be in his mid 80’s leaned over from his table and interjected with a little remark about an article in todays paper.  An article about a very bad man taking very bad pictures.  (um foreshadowing?)  We politely responded, and then got back to our gossip conversation. 

Five minutes later the “gentleman” was on the move.  He approached our table, picked up my giant purse, moved it out of his way and made himself quite at home with us, at our table.  (Nervy!!) “Move over there, I’m going to sit and talk to you, I come here at noon everyday and am such a people person” he declared.  He might have been old, but he was a  quick one!  This lonely old man had made himself comfortable  IN MY SPACE before I even had time to register what was happening! 

Okay, so he was a lonely old soul right?  We could put our conversation on hold for a few minutes and have a wee chat with a sweet little old man right?  (this of course is the super secret silent conversation that is exchanged between my girlfriend and I with nothing more then a glance )  At first the gentleman was just as expected…a sweet little old man, VERY quickly telling us his story of his many years in the military, his dear wife in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s, and his eleven children.  He even had pictures.  Cute right? 

Ahhh, but then the tides turned!  Conversation turned to “How his life sucked.”  (his words, not mine)  His language started getting a little more colourful?  There was complaining about the Grandkids, getting his parts touched at the doctors office, talk of boobies, telling us we should “respect” our Husbands, back to the war, back to his wife and how her life is great because she is the sick one and he is the one suffering, again with the cursing.  Ug.  Now I was getting  uncomfortable.   My  first assumption of “Awe, poor old lonely guy.” had turned into “Ew…time to get away from Dirty Old Man.  Red Light Person. Red Light Person!” 

Pretty sure my girlfriend was starting to feel the same.  As much as I’d love to help brighten this strangers day with a little friendly chit chat….this was no longer feeling friendly. 

I sorta kinda obviously checked my watch a couple of times, then we politely made our escape.  Sigh.  Sorry dear old “gentleman”.  Next time you want to make small talk with a couple of Mama’s from the Suburbs, stick to the sweet talk of Grandkids or even the troubles with your wife.  Leave out the cursing, private pokey doctors visits and the boobie talk.  Your audience will last longer. 


  1. He sounds like a creep!

  2. That was very rude of him to to that:(

  3. Icky!

  4. Yuck!

  5. Those sorts of people are very hard to deal with and I think that situations like that can quickly get out of hand! It’s hard because we are taught to be polite, but what do you do when somebody is being invasive? Leaving was probably the right decision…:)

  6. Colleen it was a struggle! The polite girl in me wanted to stay and help him find a professional to talk to our perhaps a group to join, but there was the Mama in me wanted me to tell him to watch his mouth!

  7. ewww….i am glad you initially listened but yeah it was time to get out of there…or tell him…cause i imagine he found another to latch onto…

  8. He must be lonely. But I’ll just add that to my list of reasons to avoid mall food courts! 🙂

  9. yeesh. He’s going to stay lonely if he doesn’t get his act together soon.

  10. oh my! how awkward! lol

  11. O..M..G…ewwww!

  12. That’s mall people for you! Creepy!

  13. Ishy!

  14. It sounds like the Betty White Show last night ” Off Their Rockers”! Was there a hidden camera?

  15. Wow…how nervy! You did the exact right thing, behaved politely and then excused yourselves. I’m all about helping the lonely feel more comfortable but he intruded on a rare and special conversation. Maybe the article in the paper was about him and he wanted to get your thoughts on nasty picture taking????

  16. Yep, creepy. Older and creepier. Ugh.

  17. Ewww! Very icky! This just gives me another reason to stay away from the mall.

  18. Holy awkward! What a weirdo!

  19. Slightly awkward that he sat at your table in the first place, definitely not cool to give you his life story with all the gory details!

  20. As crazy as it sounds, he might be starting to get a bit senile himself, like his wife. My hubs’ grandmother starting talking more crassly and out of character before her dementia set in, and I fear that’s what has been happening to my grandpa too. 🙁 Wait…..maybe it WAS my grandpa. Where were you again????

  21. oh yuk, what a strange and not so fun experience.

  22. Ooooh, so awkward! When things like this happen I seriously wish my parents hadn’t instilled such a respect of my elders. You want to leave but sit and grin instead. Glad you were able to pull yourself away!

  23. creepy must have been very awkward

  24. I’m pretty sure I’m going to start using “Red Light Person” on a daily basis!

  25. That is such a bummer…he totally wrecked your girl time!

  26. Ewww, you have to DM me the mall so I won’t go to the food court there any afternoon with anyone. I can understand his being lonely but he went too far.

  27. Now that is really weird. He really should have never sat with you. Pretty bold move on his part.
    Glad you got outta there!

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