Children come with guilt. It seems it’s just part of the package. From the moment we pee on that stick and see those two pink lines, our lives are forever changed. Our bodies, our lives, they are no longer ours alone. We are now Mom’s. What we don’t know is that from then on out, we will feel forever torn.
Torn between coffee or a caffeine free pregnancy.
Torn between breast feeding or bottle…..or both!
Torn between comforting that helpless little whimpering creature in her crib or “febreezing” her. Letting that little soul cry it out as we weep big hot tears right outside her closed bedroom door.
Go back to the career I love, or give it all up to stay home with my little miracles? Torn.
Some decisions are easier then others, and before long you are lulled into a state of complacency, thinking you have got it all figured out. Don’t get comfortable, you don’t.
This summer my 9 and 12 year old hit a really sweet spot. A little bit independent mixed in with a whole lot of fiery energy and fun. My job; to play, supervise, chaperone, schedule and occasionally beg them to carve out some time for me, the Mom! They are truly in an exciting place of I can “do it by myself” and yet still have moments of needing ME, all my attention, every ounce of my energy, all the patience I can spare, and every second of my time. They still need their Mommy and I am more then okay with this!
Yes, I am a woman. I value my girlfriend relationships. I treasure my time with my Hubby. I am loving my hobby that has turned into the biggest time suck in the world, this blog and all it’s business, but first and foremost I am a MOM.
So here is my rant. If you don’t hear from me for a while, or if we have plans and suddenly one of my children, my babies needs me, I’m sorry, but they will come first. Wait, I take that back. I’m not sorry! I’m lucky that I have two girls who love and need me! Time with them is fleeting and I am going to try and treasure every moment, be there to wipe every tear, and cheer like a crazy person for every victory.
I will admit I’m sure there are days I’ve “over mothered”, “under wifed” and neglected friends. I’m still struggling to find the magic balance we all seek, I’m doing the very best that I can. What I know for sure, no kid ever went off to college saying their Mother had just loved them too darn much. If I’m going to survive life in these suburbs I have to remember that first and foremost I am a Mom, and you know what, I’m done making apologies for it.
End of Rant.