The One Where I Rant About Being Torn

Children come with guilt. It seems it’s just part of the package. From the moment we pee on that stick and see those two pink lines, our lives are forever changed. Our bodies, our lives, they are no longer ours alone. We are now Mom’s. What we don’t know is that from then on out, we will feel forever torn.

Torn between coffee or a caffeine free pregnancy.

Torn between breast feeding or bottle…..or both!

Torn between comforting that helpless little whimpering creature in her crib or “febreezing” her. Letting that little soul cry it out as we weep big hot tears right outside her closed bedroom door.

Go back to the career I love, or give it all up to stay home with my little miracles? Torn.

Some decisions are easier then others, and before long you are lulled into a state of complacency, thinking you have got it all figured out. Don’t get comfortable, you don’t.

This summer my 9 and 12 year old hit a really sweet spot. A little bit independent mixed in with a whole lot of fiery energy and fun. My job; to play, supervise, chaperone, schedule and occasionally beg them to carve out some time for me, the Mom! They are truly in an exciting place of I can “do it by myself” and yet still have moments of needing ME, all my attention, every ounce of my energy, all the patience I can spare, and every second of my time. They still need their Mommy and I am more then okay with this!

Yes, I am a woman. I value my girlfriend relationships. I treasure my time with my Hubby. I am loving my hobby that has turned into the biggest time suck in the world, this blog and all it’s business, but first and foremost I am a MOM.

So here is my rant. If you don’t hear from me for a while, or if we have plans and suddenly one of my children, my babies needs me, I’m sorry, but they will come first. Wait, I take that back. I’m not sorry! I’m lucky that I have two girls who love and need me! Time with them is fleeting and I am going to try and treasure every moment, be there to wipe every tear, and cheer like a crazy person for every victory.

I will admit I’m sure there are days I’ve “over mothered”, “under wifed” and neglected friends. I’m still struggling to find the magic balance we all seek, I’m doing the very best that I can. What I know for sure, no kid ever went off to college saying their Mother had just loved them too darn much. If I’m going to survive life in these suburbs I have to remember that first and foremost I am a Mom, and you know what, I’m done making apologies for it.

End of Rant.


  1. Great post, S.

    I agree – being a mom is THE most important job there is, and being a mom ALWAYS comes first, before EVERYTHING else. It’s okay to say no, to take a step back, and to disconnect from everything else sometimes, to be in the present for your children and to cherish your time together. I try to never go on the computer when I’m home or out with my children. (I’m learning to not keep the phone so close to me, too, when I’m with the kids.)


  2. family def comes first…they need you and need to seeahealthy relationship with hubs because that is what they will base theirs on….

  3. Verrry true. I always say I chose to have my children but they didn’t choose to have me. Being a mom comes first.

  4. No rant necessary, understand COMPLETELY!

  5. What Teri said. Family first, chica.

  6. No apologies are EVER necessary for this – everyone knows (or should know) that being Mom is priority over just about everything else.

  7. I can’t fully relate, not having children yet, BUT I can say that I know I am blessed that my own mother “overmothered” me when I needed it.. It may make you feel torn at times, but at the heart of it, it is a blessing to your kids!

  8. Love it! I never say I’m sorry either, I’m human and completely insane;-)

  9. That’s why I’m so, so happy that blogging came along for me after my kids had already left for college. I don’t blame you one bit!

  10. Home is where the heart is. And where YOUR heart certainly is.
    Be a mom….it is the best job in the world. 🙂

  11. You go girl! I don’t even have those responsibilities anymore and this thing has sucked me in. I’m not sure I can keep it up. Having your girls is a special time and the moments are fleeting so they must come first. I will always be here for you when you post something!

  12. Rant away! Being you and being a mom comes first. We will happily wait for you 🙂

  13. Very well said & so very true. 🙂

  14. Real life should always come first.

    Always 🙂

    You’re an awesome mom!!

  15. I completely hear you.

    And that is why I’m fine with being called a mommy blogger. B/c it puts the “mommy” ahead of blogging. 😉

    My kids HAVE to come first.

    I’m done feeling bad about it!!!

  16. YES. Absolutely and utterly. Being a mum is my first job and everything else including my paid job comes second. People seem to have a hard time dealing with this, even Im sad to say other mothers but thats how it is. Good for you xx

  17. You go, woman! I applaud you in your commitment to motherhood. No apologies required. Ever.

  18. Well … yeah. You’ve only spoken, what to me is, grounded common sense!

    But all those other torn betweens, man you sure mentioned some tough ones!

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