I am sure because my big toe is stiff and oddly white on top it is broken. Other reasons I’m sure it’s broken, cause it’s numb and uncomfortable and hurts when I wear my favourite shoes and my favourite shoes can’t be wrong! That toe, she is broken. Oh and maybe because I dropped the heavy side rail part of a crib on it?
I am positive that super scary spider with HAIR that just skirted across the deck was a Brown Recluse. Girls! Poisonous! Danger! (totally normal reaction)
I felt a sick sense of relief when I compared legs with my sister around the pool yesterday. Her sunspots look just like mine and have been checked out by a Doctor. No more need to prowl the skin cancer sites on google. I’m in the clear on this one baby!
I have NUMEROUS “doctor.com”, “diagnose your bad self” type sites marked as favourites and I sneak on them when my Hubby isn’t looking. These sites are good for no one. Every diagnosis ends with…seek immediate medical attention! Can’t one of these sites just once tell me; You have a common cough due to cold. Go to bed and drink some tea. Make your Husband look after the kids.
I need my Hubby to reassure and remind me that my chest muscles (yes I said chest muscles..they are somewhere under where my boobs are supposed to be) HURT because I choose to try and out run the rain with a big ass, over filled, grocery cart at Costco. I am NOT having a heart attack. I am just a dumb ass. Perhaps if I’d just said no to the 10lb jar of pickles and 5 lb bag of of chocolate chips I could have made that turn with the cart without re-injuring that old muscle strain and rib injury. Again, dumb ass.
Every sore throat could be strep. An upset stomach in the family means it’s time to break out the Lysol and cancel all play dates, and I truly believe Purel and Vitamin C are a Mama’s best friend. So yeah, if these things make me a hypochondriac, I have decided to embrace it.
It’s just one part of the crazy that makes me who I am.
Still love me?