Thanksgiving & A Man With A One Track Mind

I usually love Thanksgiving.  If you are lucky, the weather is perfect, your kids behave, and you have a moment to reflect on what you are really thankful for.  It’s an opportunity to bounce from house to house visiting with family while stuffing your face with turkey and indulging your sweet tooth.  Perfection.

Reality.  There is a little work that has to be done to get this “perfect” little family out the door.

My morning goes like this.

Get the girls in the shower.

Shake my head and start negotiation with the pre-teen.  That is not the outfit I put out for her.

Remind both girls that they need to dry your hair BEFORE they put on their good clothes.  Wet shirts.  Not cute. 

Start my list of complaints: 

Who left the dog outside? 

Did you feed the cat? 

Can someone PLEASE help me with this salad? 

No, you do not have time to play just one more computer game, and turn the TV off.  Now. 

No I don’t know where your other shoe is.  How does a kid  lose 1 shoe? 

Seriously? Who ate my toasted pecans? They were for the salad. 

No, you can not have pie now, it is for dessert.

I don’t know why we have pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving go and ask your Father…he is not doing anything.

Girls. I need to have a shower.

What…how is it that we have to leave in 20 minutes and I still have not figured out what to wear.

It is official I hate everything in my entire closet.

Please, please tell me my camera battery is charged.

Pack the purse..I can do make-up on the way.

Fix the girls hair.

Pack salad, dessert, camera, brush, sweaters, PJ’s, tylonel…what am I forgetting.

Crap. We need gas.

Finally get to the car.

Of course.  Sweetgirl has to pee.  Back in the house.

I have spent from 8am until 10:30am running around like a crazy person. Determined to set this family up for success. The goal.  To arrive at the in-laws farm for our first of two Thanksgiving meals looking calm, cool and collected and ready to enjoy our day. 

BarnKittys ThanksgivingHorses

I am exhausted, but it’s fine because we look good and are ready to enjoy some family time even if it kills us

Suddenly it dawns on me.  What has the Hubby done this morning?

Said Good Morning. Tried talking me into sex.

Scratched. Tried talking me into sex.

Had a shower…asked me if I wanted to join him.

Checked his fantasy football stats.

Saw me running around like a crazy person..thought he’d ask if some “cuddling” time would help.

It’s official.  Men can only think about 2 things.

Sex and Football.  Sigh.

Hope all you Canadian’s had a fabulous Thanksgiving, managed to dodge your needy Hubby’s and arrived safe and sound at your family events.  My American friends…I wish you luck next month!

 

nominee_008x1502 I’ve been nominated. Just follow the link!

I’d love your vote for Best Family Blog and/or Best Humour Blog.

Apparently I’m sometimes funny.



Comments

  1. Brilliant post!!!

    CJ xx

  2. Stop…you just described my house! Last Sunday, I finally said to him, “You must have ass sores from all the football you’ve watched this weekend.” (That was after I quietly snuck upstairs to lay down for a moment and he appeared completely naked at the foot of my bed. C’mon!).

    You’re right. It’s football and sex. Soon, it will be sex while watching football. I’m waiting for that one.

    Happy Tuesday!

  3. Remind me again why we aren’t lesbian’s… Seriously I’m glad to know it really is all men. And children.

  4. I soo can totally relate.

    My sis and her fiance were here last weekend, and they were shocked at how long it took us to get ready and out the door!

  5. My husband does the same thing, only he does it when I’m on the phone, or in a crucial part of a movie!

    Not interested!

    CBG
    canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

  6. i am not seeing a problem here…smiles.

  7. This convo sounds oh too familiar 🙂

  8. Loved this post – too funny and well, a little too true!!

    Hope you have recovered nicely from your long wonderful day! 🙂

  9. Your husband sounds so much like mine! Oh and getting ready in the morning on any day sounds a lot like yours.

  10. Sex, football, and Batman. 🙂

  11. This reminds me of the chaos Im going to bring upon myself next month!

  12. Bwahaha! Sounds like a morning at my house. My favorite is when he does one lousy thing without me having to pester him and feels like king shit. You did the dishes? Woop-di-freakin’ do! What do you want? A medal of honor?

  13. We boycotted Thanksgiving yesterday, and we are going to do it next month for American Thanksgiving when my parents are here to help with the new baby so that THEY can do all the work!
    And the one good thing about being in so much pain from this pregnancy… my hubby knows WAY better than to proposition me for sex these days!

  14. Yes, football and sex. That pretty much sums it up. And can someone please tell me – why is it that they *think* cuddling might be a good idea when you are in the middle of insanity?

  15. lol.. great post dear!!!!

    uuuggghh.. men, so would love to whop with a frying pan sometimes!!!

    hope your thanksgiving is wonderful.. and from reading this post.. maybe i should start for ours next month.. like now!!!

  16. lol.. great post dear!!!!

    uuuggghh.. men, so would love to whop with a frying pan sometimes!!!

    hope your thanksgiving is wonderful.. and from reading this post.. maybe i should start for ours next month.. like now!!!

  17. Too funny. This is us every time we all try to get out the door to any event! Love the horse picture!

  18. I forgot you are Canadian – hope it was (eventually) a nice, relaxing Thanksgiving day for you. And, just know that in a little over a month, those of us south of the border will be re-enacting your day! LOL
    BTW, men in South Georgia are the same… only you can add fishing and hunting to your list. haha

  19. Not all men are like that. Take me for example…..sex and baseball. LOLOLOLOL

  20. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving Day. This post actually has me semi dreading our American Thanksgiving day! 🙂

  21. So what you’re saying is, life as a mom doesn’t get easier as the kids age?? Now I’m majorly bummed.

  22. You made me laugh with this one. How is it that husbands manage to avoid all the work and turmoil?

  23. Too hilarious! It’s all geared around those two things. It’s not hard to see the wheels a-turnin’ in that brain of his. Hope you have/had a Happy Thanksgiving!

  24. LOL! I cannot bring myself to even think about Thanksgiving!
    You are funny more than sometimes! LOL

  25. Oh god hilarious, why is it always when we are most rushed that we get propositioned….and they wonder why they get rejected…

  26. Haha! Glad you had a good holiday!

  27. We only have one son right now, but I grew up as the 3rd child in a family with 4 children. I KNOW the chaos you described. I miss loud crazy holiday mornings, but I am enjoying quiet ones while I have them.
    Josh, God love him, will do other things beside football and sex, if I write it in a list on the dry erase board. And remind him. Multiple Times.

  28. OMG!! That is truly great!! And sooo on target…

    Yeah, MEN…like CanadianBloggerGirl and Polly said, the second we’re on the phone or busy, suddenly NOW is THE time!! And yes Polly, they actually cannot figure it out and actually get offended!! LOL

    This was fantastic!! Thanks ModernMom!!

  29. American men’s two thoughts are sex and Nascar. Okay, maybe football too.

  30. Great post. Sounds just like a day in my house, except my house is full of boys!
    Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving a little comment love. I THRIVE off of comments, so you made my day 😀

    I voted for your blog…Good Luck!

  31. LOL.
    Sex and football? For them, there is NOTHING else!!!

  32. Oh my god, every household is the same. Even those in other countries (I am in Australia) and yes I run around like a crazy person most the time, my husband wonders why I’m always tired and yes he harassess me just as you described!
    Thanks for always putting a smile on my face and reminding me my life is ‘just normal’.

  33. Hillarious! But so true about the men! Reminds me of what my husband will be doing or trying to do next month:)

  34. This is so funny. Apparently your hubby isn’t getting enough sex either. Maybe he should commiserate with mine.
    I’ve been voting for you at the Canadian blog competition! Go Modern You!

  35. Great post!! I loved this one and it’s all so true. I remember those days when my kids were young. I mother works harder then anyone else and just doesn’t get enough credit for it!

  36. Whoa, who are those two beautiful horsies there!

    (trying to distract from the man-boy antics)

    Seriously, if my hubby acted like that I’d have a come to jesus meeting with him and believe you me he wouldn’t have any unbroken fingers to take notes with!

    All in my fantasies 😀

  37. Sounds like a chapter right out of the story of my life. Seriously. Men are so predictable.

  38. Story of my life. This happens to me all of the time not just Holidays.

    I have an award waiting for you at:

    http://lauragelnett.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-first-award.html

  39. lol.. great post – totally know what you mean, except my husband also likes to lie in bed, pretending to sleep while I know he’s listening to all the chaos going on – then when I’ve managed to organize the kids and myself, THEN he decides to start getting ready: what a great way to drive me up the wall!

  40. Ha. So, so true!

  41. Perfection is exhausting. Hope you guys had a wonderful time.

  42. Too funny! Mine cooks the turkey.

  43. This cracked me up! My husband is that SAME way…sex, football, food, sex, food, sex, football. It never changes. Hope you enjoyed your holiday!

  44. LOVE this post! Totally cracked me up. You should have your own sitcom. Seriously. LOL!

    Ummm…and you are funny ALL the time! 😉

  45. Are we married to the same man? LOL

  46. After 34 years of marriage all I can say is, it doesn’t get any better. 🙂

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