40th Birthdays & Funerals?


Have you spent any time thinking about what your 40th birthday will mean to you?  Are you already past 40 and full of wonderful wisdom you can share?  I’m thinking about that dreaded decade of my 40’s more then I care to admit lately.  Now wait a second.  I still have almost an entire year before the big four oh, the problem is the remarkable number of “Surprise” parities, 40th birthday parties, and cocktail parties I have been attending as of late.

I have concluded that 40th birthday parties are kind of like funerals.  Seriously!  Seems to me the 40th party is a huge reflection of the birthday guy or gal….it gives us a glimpse into what there very last get together might look like too.

That great big surprise party that I went to back in February.  That girl had every person she had ever met show up at that thing.  It was sickly sweet, short and to the point. Just like her.  Got me thinking.  Wouldn’t her funeral be the EXACT same way?  That girl would pack the house.

The outdoor bon fire party starring the reformed partier that went until the wee hours. He is the guy who NEVER misses a GOOD paaarrttyy. Fer sure his funeral would be a rowdy celebration of his life, followed up by a massive wake and cheers all around. 

The party that I threw this weekend for a girlfriends 40th.  It was politely attended by her nearest and dearest friends, and all of their kids.  There were some good laughs, fabulous food, great wine.  Yep.  Her funeral would be the same way.  Civil, nice, polite.

Well folks, I’m not going out like this.  On my 40th birthday I am leaving this country on a plane.  I will be somewhere disgustingly romantic that helps me stroke something off my bucket list. Think Paris, or the Grand Caymen Islands.  I’m not sharing my 40th birthday with anyone but my Hubby and maybe my kids, cause apparently I am all kinds of selfish like that.  Does this mean no one will come to my funeral? That the funeral parlour will be empty.  Just me and my laptop? 


Do you think they have twitter in heaven?  Well, at least I’ll be smiling until the day I find out! 

So tell me, how do you see your 40th birthday?


Linky Love: I could use some love at Top Mommy Blogs.  They reset their counter do hickeys and I took a bad fall|:( 

CSN giveaway ends Friday!


  1. Wow. I wish I had thought of that. I’ll be 46 next month and honestly? I don’t even remember what I did for my 40th. Probably nothing much. My husband and kids are doing well if they remember my birthday, let alone celebrate it.

  2. ha. i want my funeral to be a raucous affair…i got a few (3) year to 40…i dont know how i feel about it…hopefully i am still loving life and kicking as opposed to laid out in a box…

  3. I have a list of things I want to do before I turn 40. None of them seem to be happening though. I shudder to think of my funeral. I’m sure it would be chaotic, just like my life 🙂

  4. I have to admit, I really had a hard time turning 40 and that lasted for about a year. Now I’m ok with it all (I should hope so at 44!). But enjoy the day and know that it’s a great decade!

  5. My husband turned 40 this year and didn’t want a party or any recognition… he is like that for every birthday. So for his 40 minus 1 I took him to Vegas… tricky I know 🙂
    My 40th is next year and I really want to go away for it… maybe Spain.

  6. I just turned 44 at the end of June. My 44th was way better than my 40 as it was spent with my Guy and my daughter just hanging around.
    As to my funeral: I hope it is attended by people who actually cared about me in life, no matter how many there are!!
    My 40th birthday wasn’t too great as I spent that with my THEN boyfriend who turned out to be a real jerk.
    I try not to think about age at all!!

  7. well i would love to go to paris or rome for my 40th…but that is highly unlikely. I only have parties for my kids. i haven’t had any adult birthday parties for me or dh.

  8. As long as that cake is at my 40th birthday party I’ll be happy. I remember throwing my mom her 40th birthday when I was a kid and now in just a decade or so, I’ll be there myself. Crazy how time creeps up on you.

    But if I had to plan it now, I’d say that I’d want it ultra posh. Maybe everyone in white like a P-Diddy party. With fabulous cocktails and finger food.

  9. I had my 40th a couple years ago. Didn’t have/want a party. The mister didn’t plan a thing. In fact, he went out and got Jimmy John’s for dinner. LOL!

    He also gave me a gift certificate for Botox and Juvederm which made me bawl like a baby because I thought he was trying to tell me something. Hahahaha….

    If I could do it again, I would leave on a jet plane, too.

    Sure hope my funeral isn’t anything like my 40th, but I think you might be on to something. I’m not much for attention or crowds.

    Cute post.

    By the way, the Cayman Islands are fabulous!

  10. 40th and funerals. Yes–but how you spun it, not because 40 is death-like. I’m two years away and loving the fantastical thoughts I’m having planning my soiree.

    Twitter in heaven? Yup. I think so.

  11. I gave you love on top mommy blogs, can you love me back, I got kicked out of the charts!!!


    And I love your 40th birthday!

  12. OK, the thought of “packing the house” at a funeral parlor is both hysterical and something I’ve never thought about before! 🙂

  13. I want only my close family there for my 4oth too. Tropical island sounds great too.

  14. I don’t blame you! Who wants to spend their birthday surrounded by black and the grim reaper! I think a vacation with just the family sounds perfect!

  15. i see myself celebrating it with my husband and son or maybe another baby when i turn 40 (10 yrs away!) and would love to have my parents, sisters & fam and bro & fam with me but that will be a bit tricky as eldest lives in texas, second elder lives in london, third elder lives in doha and bro in nepal…..i can still wish tho, right? 😉 don’t want to think about my funeral…yet but i hope it will be before anyone’s whom i dearly love. :((

    ~ash’s mum

  16. i so AM LOVING your idea of a 40th birthday….
    spend it with the ones THAT MEAN THE MOSTEST!!!!!

  17. Hey Modern Mom,

    I haven’t really thought of how I’d spend my 40’s…but I def like your idea…just another reason to take a trip…and a romantic one 😉



  18. I refuse to think that far ahead…I don’t wanna turn 40! I don’t wanna turn 26 because I have been 25 for **ahem** several years, I won’t say how many though.

  19. i’m trying to figure out this current age before I think of 40. I have no doubt there willbe NO party.

  20. I’m all about going somewhere exotic! After all, partying in a far-away location is so much more exciting than doing it at home!

  21. Hmmmm. I wonder if we should start a new bloggy funeral for us. We could have it on a live webcam. Everyone could turn the sound on so we could hear crying. ….

  22. I never looked at it that way. When I first began reading, I was planing my hubby’s and my 40th until you related it to a funeral and I don’t want to go out like that either. Not to mention if I had one I’ll probably start crying because I’ll be thinking of my funeral. lol

  23. The City of Lights…yeah…That’s how I wanna celebrate my 40th!!

  24. That is too funny! Personally I love the idea of leaving the country for my 40th! My husband is a last minute, go out and grab a gift kinda guy, so I know that if I want a party, *I* would be the one to plan it!

    And my funeral? Darling, I plan on outliving all my friends (and hubby) so who will be around but family to show up? 😉

  25. So funny you posted about this! I am 37 and recently started thinking that since I haven’t ever been married that I should go all out and make my 39th birthday party basically like a wedding would be. I’m even thinking of saving up for a ring to buy myself for the occasion. Gather all my friends that have remained my friends over the years and just party it up for a couple days! Sounds fun to me. And if it ends up being a template for my funeral, then I have some lucky friends and family. 🙂

  26. Since I’ll be dead for my funeral, I will do it up for the 40th. At least I’ll remember that.

    I’m thinking good food and a boat with crystal blue waters…

  27. You can call this “Old Bat” wisdom since I’m going to be 50 next year. Every year you get is a gift, once you lose someone well before their time, you realize that every birthday is a gift regardless of what number you attach to it.

    “Old age is a priviledge that not everyone gets to experience”

    Enjoy each and every year honey 🙂

  28. I will come to your funeral even if I am not invited on the big
    40th bday trip.

    Mine was a big surprise…my husband flew me to NYC for a long weekend and surprised me with 7 of our closest friends….nice hotel, big dinners, The farm aid concert with vip seats? perfect and memorable.

  29. You are too funny. I think you’ll have a great turnout to your funeral even if you skip town for the big 4-0 🙂

    I am 36…so it’s a few years away. I’m not sure yet what I’ll do…but it will be a BIG deal.

    As far as hitting somewhere great….we went to Virgin Gorda a couple years ago. The absolute most gorgeous non tourist-y island ever!!

  30. Honestly, I think it takes a close death to really think of how you’d want your funeral. I did do a post on it once upon a time. Admittedly, right after attending a funeral. I don’t want a funeral, per se, just a gathering of folks to celebrate a life of someone they knew. I don’t “do” funerals… hate ’em (well, I mean, I don’t know ANYONE that LIKES them) but I despise the whole dead body thing. It oogies me out!

    For my 40th (which will be 12/20/12), I’d like to do that BUT since it’s around Christmastime, it’s damn near impossible to do ANYTHING because of having children and such. Maybe I’ll do a trip to New York City with dear hubs because all the passes I like to drive in Colorado will be closed by then! Hmm… at least I’ve got some time to contemplate.

    I’m not one on big parties and Hell would have to freeze over before my husband lifted a finger to do anything until the day before an event. Seriously, someone ELSE will have to plan my funeral for me or there just wont be one.

  31. Ok, now you got me thinking about my big 4-0. I still have a few more years to go.

    I’m a quiet, homebody so for sure my big 4-0 will be celebrated like yours, with my hubby and kids only. So, errr…I guess my funeral will be empty too. LOL!

  32. I think taking an awesome trip or something would be a fab way to celebrate turning 40!

  33. I have 1 and a half years to go before the big 4-0 and I do admit I’m really nervous about this birthday.

    I like your idea about leaving on a jetplane with the husband and maybe the kids. I think I will have to plant that seed now.


  34. I can’t remember my 40th birthday even though it was very recent. I call that a success!

  35. I don’t blame you – be selfish. Get on a plane and go!!!!!!

    I had to surprise birthday parties – which were wonderful (resulting in some hideous photos….) but as I am a more private person, I much prefer your idea. Be selfish. It’s YOUR day!

    And btw, 40 is the 20 – haven’t you heard?

  36. Bah, 40 is sooo over-rated… been there, done that, hope to do it again next year… LOL!

    You spring chicken, you!

  37. That sounds like the very best 40th birthday present anyone could give themselves.

    I dig it.

  38. I want a fun pink party with dancing and friends.. I know crazy… When I turned thirty I went to a water park and it was fun. Maybe I will just do that again..

  39. I love the insight!! My 40th is in a little over 5 years, and I know I want a party, but mostly I want a cat. So does that mean there will be a bunch of cats at my funeral?? AM I GOING TO BE THE CRAZY CAT LADY?!?!

  40. Is it wrong that you’re thinking about funerals in the same sentence as 40th birthdays? LOL!

    I’ve been to a number of 40th celebrations in the last year that have included an 80s party (where costumes were mandatory), a girls-only trip to NYC, a swank dinner out for a few close friends…they’ve run the gamut.

    Not sure what I’m going to do for mine yet…but I suspect I will be like you and try to just get away with the hubby. That’s the celebration I need!! 🙂

  41. Im planning a big bash. Considering I was pregant for 30 i think I earnt it!!

  42. LOL! I’m in denial at being in my mid-30’s..I haven’t even begun to think about 40…although I did have to answer the question “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” on my blog today…at which point I will be over 40- YIKES!

    Speaking of that post, I tagged you as a thanks for you loyal commenting!

  43. 40? The desparate housewives are all about 47. And Kelly Preston is pregnant. What’s 40 any more?

  44. Tagged you my friend. Come on by and get your award when you get a chance! 🙂

  45. I’m not celebrating my 40th because I refuse to acknowledge it. I don’t want a funeral either. I guess I’m just a cranky old lady. *shrugs*

  46. I’m about to turn 21. I can’t say that I’ve thought in depth about my 40th birthday just yet. 🙂

  47. I want to run a marathon on my 40th. Then gorge on Reese’s.

  48. I try not to think about my 40th Birthday! I hope when the time comes that I spend it with great friends and family!

  49. Urgh. I’m turning 35 a week before Christmas. I was in the car yesterday just thinking about how I will soon be in a whole new age bracket. You know, when you fill out questionnaires and they ask for your age group?? *sigh*

    BTW, YOU WON 1 lb of organic Fair-trade coffee on my blog!! Come on over and claim your prize! XOXOX

  50. I wish I had of been smart enough to get on a plane and celebrate the big 4 – 0 somewhere amazing. I say go for it!

  51. I am actually dying to turn 40. I am going to have a huge cocktail party in early October when the weather is perfect here in FL. Luminarias all around the pool, cocktails flowing and appies working their way around the room. Music playing. Can’t wait.

    I just feel like life has gotten better as I’ve gotten older so in 1 1/2 more years it should be more awesome. Or one can hope 🙂

  52. I have another year and a few days to get my 40th all straightened out. I don’t care for a big party either…I’m not about being center of attention.

  53. I have another year and a few days to get my 40th all straightened out. I don’t care for a big party either…I’m not about being center of attention.

  54. Hope I can blog in heaven 😮
    Girl, 40 is nothing. I getting closer to the big 60 in a few years and I’m not ready for that.
    Grandparents are that old, not me!!

  55. You are TOO FUNNY! I never thought of how a birthday party and a funeral could be related…yo are spot on!

    I have not thought about either actually…I have a little less than a year until 4-0…and have no clue how I want to celebrate…,maybe a full night sleep and then not waking up until noon!

  56. I had a baby a few weeks before 30, then again a few weeks before 40, I am 49 now and thinking another before 50 would be just alarming so for 50- someplace fab with hubby , NYC or Paris? Hope one of them if econ holds 🙂
    Hugs and fun post!!

  57. kathy downey says:

    40…wow it seems so long ago,i’m making a list to do before 60

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