I’d tell the chick who parks in the school crosswalk every single freaking day to move her damn car and park in the parking lot like everyone else. Princess.
I would hand the man who runs the post office an entire box of breath mints. Hint hint dude. Chronic halitosis is not sexy.
I would allow myself to giggle out loud when that old Grandpa checks me out at the grocery store. Seriously dude..how young/hot do you think you are? Or wait a second. How bad are my crows feet? Eek
I would tell the server that not only is the food she brought me cold crap, but her service is the worst I have experienced in the last 5 years. I would not fear the sneezer.
I would tell my beloved carpool that they SUCK! Run your errands on your own time hon, and quit dragging my kid all around town, just bring her home. Thanks.
I would explain to Granny that she needs some new teeth. I know! I am a bitch! …and this is so not revenge cause she keeps giving me diet books. Seriously, that sweet little ole birds teeth are gonna fall right out of her mouth, I’ve already had to help her look for them twice,….. and it’s my day without a filter so I get to tell her!
Lady in front of me at the Grocery Store check out. This is the Express Lane. 8 items or less. Yeah you for sticking to that rule, BUT when you pay in dimes and nickels it is severely hampering the Express part. For the love of Pete take all that change to the bank. You are going to make me late to pick up the kids!
Whew. I feel better now. Imagine how interesting life might get if we all just spoke our minds? What would you spew today?
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41 comments:
I agree - just once I'd like to say what I really think without the repercussions. Especially at work!
hahaha. i am glad i have a filter...and it works overtime somedays...
Love those!!! Thanks for a smile first thing this morning!
I would love to tell off the moms that get out of their cars in the car pool line. If you are going to get out of your car - go park in the parking lot - stop holding up the carpool line. It drives me nuts!!
I loved this post. I couldn't even begin to think about what I'd say without being seriously rude!! I'd better not even begin. But even remembering what I said under my breath to about 10 drivers on the school run this morning is enough to turn the air blue! At least, I hope it was under my breath!
Oh my gosh...my stomach hurts from laughing!! I would love to walk around without a filter!!
I would tell the carpool girl....don't tell me when to leave for school...I'm driving the flippin car and my kids have never been tardy. Back off lady!! Manage your half of the carpool!! Oh that's right...you don't do HALF!!
i say you just do it. you will feel soo much better!
Ahh.... so glad you got that off your chest... do you feel better now? Man how I wish I could say out loud the things I wanted to tell people everday! Sometimes the evil stare is just enough!
Love it! I think I will do a post like this too! Off to vote for you!
You are awesome! Wouldn't life be grand if we could remove our filters?
You don't have excessive crows feet or look old, I'm sure-- it's just that men, even the old ones, always think they are a catch. Oh, to have the confidence of an old man!
It would be great to get stuff off your chest for sure.
Ouch! Look out world if your filter ever fails.
I turn my filter off sometimes. Especially with people that are asses and that I don't know. People need to learn their jobs.
I would be totally BAD with no filter...snarky bad. :)
I would like it if only I could have no filter. Like, it would be my super power or something, and other people still lived their lives with a filter.
Funny post!
P.S. I'm grabbing your button to add to my Blog Roll page.
I just laughed SO hard! Preach it!
Who needs a filter? I always say what's on my mind. If you don't like it, don't do anything that would make me say something!
LOL J/K I use my discretion when it is warranted (which I find isn't quite often ...)
Thank goodness, I guess, for many that our days DO have filters!
Wouldn't it be just great to say how you feel? OMG my ex-hubby had the worst bad breath. After my divorice I made sure to scream it at his lousy ass.
To my cleaner - Hey. I pay you for four hours. I know I was out when you arrived, but unless you came before I got up this morning, you haven't put four hours in. (But I'm too chicken.)
I love this post!
And the first one? Do it. Seriously. Take your filter (and your earings) off and go call her an entitled snotface!
what a fun great post. Let is all out. I think we all feel better.. Have a great day..
Have you seen the movie the Invention of Lying? I bet you would like it!!
Maybe if I knew I was going to die, I would have one of these days!
Now you know where I got the idea for all my Friday posts.
Yep, I get you on this. Old men...sometimes they are just creepers. Right?
I hate the people in the express lane like that. There was a super annoying one in front of me today when all I needed was to get a gift card. I very loudly said to my three kids that it was almost time to go to preschool, we just had to wait for the lady in front of us. She had a very full cart in the express lane. I wanted to ram her with my cart(yes, I still had a cart with just a gift card- I had all three kids!)
I have to hand it to the old man. He hasn't lost his schwing, or his eyesight.
Without a filter, I would have it out with all the bad drivers.
You should always say what you think without a filter... it's whether you actually say it out loud that matters! hee hee.
You forgot about the 60 year old at the mall wearing the tube top! Seriously???
Thank God for blogs, huh? A place to say all the things we bottle up throughout the days... weeks... months... ;-)
what a great breath of fresh air, there are so many things I would love to get off my chest...one day I will letter her rip!
But the breath mint one, classic!
Hey, boss of my job, start being nice to us or we will all find a job somewhere else.
OMG you freakin' crack me UP girl! Those are classic!
love love love this post! the first one really got me - when i take my girls to cheer, the parking lot is super tiny and always full but i still park a mile away in the only available parking spots - but there are always 2-3 moms who park right at the entrance where no parking is supposed to be allowed and then they walk in like that was their right! oooooo! burns me up! lol!
btw, thanks for stopping by my blog! returning the favor and following you back :-) adding you to my blog roll as well!
I would have to say the same things as you here, to the princess at the school car park she'll get it first, then the person at the express lane at the supermarket...
The people in the express lane writing a check drive me insane! And they don't start writing until the cashier is done ringing everything up!
Love this :) I'm following you now - thanks for stopping by Domesticated-Bliss!
i definately laughed out loud when i read this post... so many things going through my head right now! :)
ps. i think your blog is super cute... and wonderfully funny!
leigh
www.myleighashley.com
I agree completely! I would love to be able to say exactly what I was thinking, when I was thinking it without EVER having to deal with the consequences. :)
I would get myself in SOOOOOO much trouble without a filter!
ha! i didn't get your title at first..but after I read the post! HA! I'm laughing out LOUD! i LOVE you...I SO wish I could do the same...why must I be so nice all the time!!!???
ditto on all you said!
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