I watch my 8 year old SweetGirl don her suit, and throw on her cap and goggles. I can see the butterflies beginning to stir within. It’s a brand new session of synchronized swimming and she is here at the local pool, braving it. Sans BFF.
This group of young girls is a wonderfully eclectic mix.
These burgeoning young women are all jittery. A combination of nerves and excitement. Anxious to make new friends and master this new sport. What I find remarkable is that not one of this group of 9 is sucking in their stomachs, covering their bodies with towels, looking at their reflections in the mirrors with shaking heads or disapproving eyes.
They are confident in their little Speedo suits.
They are beautiful.
I am proud.
So what is that magic age?
At what point do confident little girls become creatures obsessed with how they look. At what point do self assured little girls turn into body obsessed creatures of worry?
How do I bottle this current confidence and swagger, this lightness of heart, and keep that potion for when she needs it during those terrifying teen years…….and beyond!
For now I am thankful for her confidence, for her smile, but wow, a potion like that, available when needed? What a gift that would be.
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39 comments:
Somedays I need that potion and I'm in my 40s. Mostly I'm over all that, but every now and again it strikes. So, if you ever bottle it, let me know.
Aw I LOVE this post....
I know. The trigger can come from the most innocuous places, but I think the key is to program them at a young age to know better...best to be the model for them of confidence and being thankful for having a complete and working body that can do amazing things, things worth much more than posing for a swimsuit magazine, ya know? Think of Heidi Montag...what happened there?
I have a girl too, I'm hoping she isn't sucked in by it all as well and that I show her a confidence in myself and in her!
i think when we are able to see it in our children it reawakens inside us to some point...so cool.
Ah, I remember those days of not caring what others thought. If you bottle it....let me know!
I think we could all use a dose of that potion now and then ;)
Kudo's to you mom for raising a confindent, emotionally health young lady!
Well done.
That would be a miracle potion!
What I wouldn't do....
I think the un-magic age is around 15. You still have some time to enjoy her blissdom.
What I wouldn't do....
I think the un-magic age is around 15. You still have some time to enjoy her blissdom.
I'd sure like to not care anymore!
If only our girls could keep that happy, self-confident attitude forever. Emotional health for young women (and not-so-young women!) is so important, especially in this day and age.
Did I just write "in this day and age"? I'm getting so freaking old...sigh...
Those are the best days! Hopefully we are doing a great job and the days will last much longer than our own.
Unfortuantely, I think it is a cycle that starts from the parents. One or 2 will tell their daughters to watch what they eat or they will gain weight. Then those girls start judging other girls and they start to become more aware of their appearance.
my dd is almost 12 and she is already talking about her "fat" body. My dd is not fat at all she is beautiful and it sickens me that she thinks. I think it began at 10 for her actually... not by me. I would never say the word fat to my kids. But her friends are all very into their images already. Her one friend who is naturally a stick has called her fat and wants to put her on a diet. I hate girls like this! It only takes one to ruin a whole class.
Great post. I would be nice to always have that confidence.
I think its the age when other girls start this sillyness and add it to their friends.
Just keep raising her to be self-confident, proud of what her body can do (swim, run, play,etc.) and keep an emphasis on being healthy instead of skinny - and it may never hit. It didn't hit me until after the birth of my son when I was 34 :)
Don't ya just love the innocence at that age? What a shame they learn all that petty stuff later on.
I am jealous, I've been holding in my stomach my whole life :)
So sweet and so true! I remember once when Big Sister had heard me fussing about myself when I was trying on dresses, and the next Sunday she didn't want to wear a certain dress because she "didn't like her arms" -- it broke my heart! She was FOUR at the time!! So *I* am careful about that too, because they pick up on what we think of ourselves more than we know!
What an adorable post!
I can't wait for my daughter to get home!
This is a great post to show her someday when she does need that extra confidence. You can tell her that it was always there. :)
I have a 10 year old and I totally agree.
We focus on "healthy" bodies. I always point out extreme thinness and say "Ick" or obese and say "Not good" To her - everything else in between is good.
I hope it stays that way.
That really would be a GREAT thing to bottle to have when we hit the teen years when we question everything or even in your 20 to 30's.
What a fun thing to do, that is such a great opportunity :)
I have to agree with you. I wish there was something out there for when we got older and need it!
If you figure out how to bottle it, let me know I'll buy it.
That sport and group of girls sounds like a perfect way to keep "it" in her.
I used to swim-- race swimming, not synchronized (that would've been SO cool though!). It wasn't until I was in middle school-- so 11 or so?-- that I started freaking out about how I looked in a suit. It's funny, because now that I'm older, I'm back to the point where I don't care (as much, I'd be lying if I said I didn't care at all).
~Elizabeth
Confessions From A Working Mom
It's called "hormones" and there ain't nuttin' you can do about it... when they appear, everything changes.
Keeps the species alive though ;-)
i know right.. sometimes i wish we could ALL have the minds of a 9 yr old.. life would be much less drama filled!!
That sounds like one of those "if you let me play sports" commercials. Was that Nike? Perhaps the swimming helps their confidence. I hope she's able to keep it though or at least have a strong foundation to return to when the rough teen years pass.
That's impressive to do synchronized swimming at age 8. What a great sport. They do have that confidence at that age...I have an almost 10 year old and I see the "cares" of what others think starting in her.
I've been thinking about that recently, too. It makes me sad to think that at some point, they lose that.
It's a wonderful question. My 4 year old recently started wanting to wear a pony tail and dress every day... she cries if her favorite tights are dirty.
You're doing just fine right now...writing about it all and your feelings...print out your blog...look at this in twenty years when your little one has children of her own. Trust me.
My oldest is 9 and already I can see her blossoming into a hormonal, teary teen....and at the same time she is unsure of her place in the world. Its a difficult age for her...and for mexx
I think the age varies with the child and actually how much media they are exposed to. The more they see on TV, etc., the earlier they become self-conscious. With a great mom like you, I have no doubt she will be fine!
Man these days I need a double shot of that magic potion! I don't have one sexy bone in my body right now....or at least I don't see one! I thought pregnant women were supposed to feel beautiful. Not frumpy, bloated and fat. Hmph. That's another thing I will add to the growing list of things mothers don't tell you! :)
I especially like these words of yours: "So what is that magic age?"
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