Dear Little Crook who broke into my SUV. Again.
Does your Mother know where you were last night? (you little creep) Do you think she would be proud? (that her kid is a piece of dirt) Of course not! What in the hell were you thinking!
You, my little deviant friend, are heading down a very bumpy road. Breaking a Mama’s car window on a nice quiet street in order to steal their Starbucks money from the ashtray may seem like a small crime, but it is a crime. (plus I get way grumpy without my coffee)
To walk out to my car this morning and find my window smashed, the contents of my glove box strewn about and my daughters left over juice boxes thrown on the seats was very unsettling. That car was parked 5 feet from my little SweetGirls window.
Don’t come back or this ModernMom is going to have to open up a can of whoop a$ on you.
Signed
Disappointed with Mankind.
Dear Canada Post,
You are making me look bad.
Went I went to the mailbox today I found THREE returned Christmas cards. Seriously? This can’t be my fault. I think you should check again.
Signed
Why Did I Bother
Dear Department Store Credit Card
Oh yes, you lured me in with your 10% off of purchase if I signed up on the spot. Plus the cash back coupons? How could I resist? I am a woman. I like to, no need to shop. It is in my DNA. I got my first credit card statement today and had time to look through the fine print. My interest rate is 28.9%!! Ha! Ridiculous.
Signed
Canceling her card.
Dear Self
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Signed
Jiggly Legs
Sarah says
Ohhh…I like the thin thing! Must remember that next time I go to stuff my face 🙂
Ant says
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels, Love it, so true!
AJ says
This is great! I think I will need to write a few of these myself! 🙂
Tiffany says
AMEN! to the dear self. now if only i could get it through my thick skull…
Nicole Feliciano says
I love it! Never lose your sense of humor.
Randi Troxell says
i know right.. those department store credit APR’s are horrendous!!!
Danica says
Oh no! Sorry your SUV was broken into. Nothing like feeling violated.
Damn those CC companies. I opened my bill from Christmas and fell on the floor into convulsions….sigh.
BigSis says
I need to post that last one on my fridge!
Live, Laugh, Love says
That’s scary that it happened only a few feet away from your house. What a creep!!
Buckeroomama says
Wow, that interest rate is pretty steep!!
I hope they catch the little creep who broke into your car.
Kate says
Sorry to hear about the car – thats rubbish. The letters were great though.
Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com
Busy Bee Suz says
So much dissapointment for you lately…your car window is really a bummer…such a pain!!!
Just say NO to credit cards. 🙂
Clairity says
Oooh the credit card is the one the really gets me. There’s just no way I would sign up on the spot again! I’m still getting statements for a card I signed on impulse, never used and canceled months ago!!
Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma says
I’m sorry that sucks! Hopfelly he will be caught. One of our windows in our suv was broken out once but it was an accident. Tammy’s Two Cents’s husband was the culprit. Well, sort of. He was being a nice guy and edging our yard and a rock flew up and broke the window. He told my husband to move the car but my guy decided against it because he thought – what could happen? Lesson learned.
Ottavia says
Hi Modern Mom,
I just TAGGED and LINKED you at …i don’t like mama!
Come check it out…see u there!