Dear Little Crook who broke into my SUV. Again.
Does your Mother know where you were last night? (you little creep) Do you think she would be proud? (that her kid is a piece of dirt) Of course not! What in the hell were you thinking!
You, my little deviant friend, are heading down a very bumpy road. Breaking a Mama's car window on a nice quiet street in order to steal their Starbucks money from the ashtray may seem like a small crime, but it is a crime. (plus I get way grumpy without my coffee)
To walk out to my car this morning and find my window smashed, the contents of my glove box strewn about and my daughters left over juice boxes thrown on the seats was very unsettling. That car was parked 5 feet from my little SweetGirls window.
Don't come back or this ModernMom is going to have to open up a can of whoop a$ on you.
Signed
Disappointed with Mankind.
Dear Canada Post,
You are making me look bad.
Went I went to the mailbox today I found THREE returned Christmas cards. Seriously? This can't be my fault. I think you should check again.
Signed
Why Did I Bother
Dear Department Store Credit Card
Oh yes, you lured me in with your 10% off of purchase if I signed up on the spot. Plus the cash back coupons? How could I resist? I am a woman. I like to, no need to shop. It is in my DNA. I got my first credit card statement today and had time to look through the fine print. My interest rate is 28.9%!! Ha! Ridiculous.
Signed
Canceling her card.
Dear Self
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Signed
Jiggly Legs
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56 comments:
Passive aggressive? Really?! I thought they were rather diplomatic.
LOL! :)
Sorry for the problems. Good way to get it out. I get so mad sometimes, I'll have to try this.
Those credit cards are the worst!
I do think there might be a few things that taste better than skinny feels!
that's sucks!
i had my fav leather jacket stolen from my car. broken window too!
i never, never left my jacket in the car, this time i forgot. oooh, i was so mad!
Everytime a store offers their credit cards my husband replies NO...Credit Cards are the devil! Straight Faced
Maybe he's right.
Sorry 'bout your break-in. That sux.
I love that - Nothing tastes as good as thin feels! Awesome!
Sorry about the car window - it IS very unsettling -and what's he thinking messing with coffee money?!
***Ally
Wow, I feel like I could have written all of those letters! So true...every word! :)
I had my car window smashed too a couple of years ago. I was livid to say the least! I even considered installing a security camera to catch the punk...he even keyed my truck!
I hate credit card companies. The only department store I have is Old Navy and I pay that off in full and best buy and I only buy from best buy when I can do the 0 interest for 6 or 18 months. lol
I hate credit card companies. The only department store I have is Old Navy and I pay that off in full and best buy and I only buy from best buy when I can do the 0 interest for 6 or 18 months. lol
Are they insane with that interest rate? OUTRAGEOUS!!!
dear energy and exercise(oh, and mental stimulation)
i hope it is nice for you on your vacation from me.
dear piles of stuff everywhere
thank you for keeping me company
whatev
I probably would of cried if I found my car broke into...especially if my Starbucks money was stolen! At least you are all safe and no one got hurt.
Wow coffee money really!! Thats bad thats real bad I can't start my day without coffee....as for the credit cards yeah I got a Victoria Secret credit card because it was a Semi Annual sale so I was like OMG yeah!! Um NO when I got the statment in the mail its 22% ugh....I'm paying if off with my income tax money how bad is that Never ever ever again.. I guess my husband was right after all he always says "If you don't have the cash to pay for something then you don't need it lol.." He's a funny funny man...Hope you catch who ever is breaking in your car!
-Stephanie
Hope the thief breaks his leg!
The credit card thieves, just cancel them!
Don't let this shit get to you!
Secretia
Sorry to hear about your car being broken into. That happened to me last month... little punks stole my coffee money too.
Great post. As always, YOU ROCK!
Of course there are things that taste better than thin feels. Here, I'll make you a list:
Tiramisu, rum cake, Godiva truffles, Venti Peppermint Mochas, Veal Piccata, Bison Ribeyes, Creme Brulee French Toast, Bailey's, and 'real' hard cider...all make excellent jumping off points.
Note to you:
You are a cool, cool Canadianite, and I would pull that kid's eyelashes out for you if I could.
Someone broke into my car and stole my dog's ashes...true story. I was gonna get an urn the next morning, and the creeps took her, probably thinking she was some great narcotic...until they took a snort...
Stay strong! I hope he is caught!!!
Oh my gosh how horrible on all of those things! I love your letters though! How perfect!
Your window was smashed for change!?
I think that a well placed rifle shot would work!
Pretty sure I would kick that little punks rear end for breaking into my car...especially so close to my kids window. I've made the 28.9% interest rate mistake before...needless to say, I haven't done it again :)
someone broke into your car...i would hunt them down...
credit cards suck! beware!
Oh, and get this - I heard the Good Morning America financial lady saying that canceling a credit adds a notch in the bad credit column. You can't win.
Criminals and credit cards are evil.
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Following from MBC...great blog! :)
Oh that's awful about your car. I hope they catch the hoodlum. Feels good to write all that out - get it out. We're always here to listen.
During the summer is when my car usually gets hit. Ive had all my cd's stolen, a bunch of sunglasses. I cant keep anything in my car.
Sorry to hear about your car.
You tell CANADA POST! SUCKS!! I ordered a gift for my kid from ebay, and never got it.....I'm sure the guy sent it, cuz he gave me a full refund. So yeah, I'm blaming them.
I like the credit card letter. Man do those sales people hound you on signing up. Drives me crazy, but I stay far away from credit cards now!
I have been telling myself the very same thing you told yourself these last couple of weeks!
Hi Modern Mom,
I just TAGGED and LINKED you at ...i don’t like mama!
Come check it out...see u there!
I'm sorry that sucks! Hopfelly he will be caught. One of our windows in our suv was broken out once but it was an accident. Tammy's Two Cents's husband was the culprit. Well, sort of. He was being a nice guy and edging our yard and a rock flew up and broke the window. He told my husband to move the car but my guy decided against it because he thought - what could happen? Lesson learned.
Oooh the credit card is the one the really gets me. There's just no way I would sign up on the spot again! I'm still getting statements for a card I signed on impulse, never used and canceled months ago!!
So much dissapointment for you lately...your car window is really a bummer...such a pain!!!
Just say NO to credit cards. :)
Sorry to hear about the car - thats rubbish. The letters were great though.
Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com
Wow, that interest rate is pretty steep!!
I hope they catch the little creep who broke into your car.
That's scary that it happened only a few feet away from your house. What a creep!!
I need to post that last one on my fridge!
Oh no! Sorry your SUV was broken into. Nothing like feeling violated.
Damn those CC companies. I opened my bill from Christmas and fell on the floor into convulsions....sigh.
i know right.. those department store credit APR's are horrendous!!!
I love it! Never lose your sense of humor.
AMEN! to the dear self. now if only i could get it through my thick skull...
This is great! I think I will need to write a few of these myself! :)
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels, Love it, so true!
Ohhh...I like the thin thing! Must remember that next time I go to stuff my face :)
hello following you from MBC simply 50
http://luvtosave.blogspot.com/
When they sales pitch me on those store cards, I just say "Oh, no, I get in enough trouble with the one I already have." Shuts 'em right down.
Sorry to hear about the break-in. That stuff is maddening and saddening all at once.
Sorry to read about the break in - it sucks, no matter what was taken.
Canada Post is turning into a legalized form of extortion I think.
I've done that a few times, get the deals and then cancel, thankyouverymuch!
Ugh!!! I hate people you steal!!!
Damn Canadians... we should invade!
I think revenge tastes as good as thin feels.
Next time some punk breaks into your car to steal the bag that's on your front seat, he'll be surprised to find it holds 10 dozen angry black wasps.
I hate crime!!
What a shame. If those kids put as much time into something constructive as they do into thievery and destruction, they could actually make a difference in the world.
I always turn down the credit card offers in stores. It's not worth 10% off to me. Too much hassle in the long run.
Okay, I need a tattoo with that last one. Maybe right on my hand so as the fork is coming to my mouth I will see it. Sorry your car got broken into. Jerk
Love this post! And I don't know about the whole 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels' thing... I don't think Kate Moss has eaten food in over 7 years, so I think she's forgotten a thing or two about food, you know? ;)
I'm so sorry about your car being broken into - how violating!!! Tell that jerk to NEVER BOTHER YOU AGAIN OR ELSE!!!! Stupid little punk.
I love your PA letters. So sorry about the break in, Scumbag! Grrrr....
Love your passive aggressive letters. I just watched part of the movie "Confessions of a Shopaholic" on television with my 11 year old daughter. I'm not a big shopper but I thought that the movie was hilarious.
The best scene I saw was the main character laying on her bed, surrounded by credit card bills and collection notices, crying, "They called me a valued customer and now they send me hate mail!"
Love it!
http://www.successinthesuburbs.blogspot.com/
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