I came home the other day from running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
Hubby proudly announced he had cleaned up the kitchen!
Seriously? I am a 38 year old women feeling like I have one too many balls in the air right now, this had me all kinds of excited.
As I walked into our kitchen my reaction was less..."Oh thank you Honey" and more "What the hell are you talking about, I thought you said you CLEANED." The kitchen looked EXACTLY the same as I had left it!
Me voicing my opinion on the matter didn't go over so well.
He had emptied and filled the dishwasher, and apparently wiped off the 1 by 1 foot piece of counter that wasn't covered in crap. In man language, that baby was all good and cleaned up.
Sigh.
Man clean is just different then Women clean!
Man vacuuming means vacuuming around furniture and anything that might be lying on the floor. Women move chairs, couches, and every single piece of crap their kids and dogs have dropped or touched in the last 24 hours gets put AWAY.
Man dusting. It does not exist.
Man dusting. It does not exist.
Man dishes. If it fits in the dishwasher, you are all good. If not....it needs to soak. Usually for three or four days is good.
Man laundry. Gets done when he has completely run out of clean clothes and his socks can stand all on their own. It however does not get put away. It sits in that laundry basket all folded and creasing until it is needed to cover man parts. I guess putting clothes away in drawers would be a waste of man power.
Man toilets. Not in my lifetime!
Now don't get me wrong I am grateful for every little bit of man cleaning that gets done around here. I think a man who vacuums is hot. I just wish man cleaning and women cleaning were animals of a more similar breed.
A girl can dream...
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60 comments:
That is hilarious. I have to admit, my husband is fairly well trained. He does, in fact, vaccuum well.
But the kitchen. Yeah. Dead on. That's man kitchen cleaning. And he gets upset that not everything in the dishwasher gets cleaned when he's put 20 spoons together in one silverwear rack?!?!
LOL that's funny. In our household I guess I would be considered the man. LOL
ahahah I feel ya! Today was our clean day and as I was cleaning and my husband was vacuuming I was calling out the areas to make sure he didn't miss. "Don't forget - Under the couches/behind the TV/ etc etc LOL Men, gotta love em.
Happy weekend :)
Oh, gosh, I love this post. So funny and so true. I love how my hubby is always so proud when he "helps" and I have to bite my tongue to keep from pointing out all the things he left undone.
I can definitely relate to the "if it doesn't fit in the dishwasher, it needs to soak." I'm always amazed at what is left soaking when he cleans up the kitchen -- and wipe the counters or table -- uh, no way. :-)
That is so true, but I have to tell you that IF my guy cleaned he is pretty good at it. "IF" He does do the toilets for me and for that I am thankful.
That is so true. I asked my husband to clean the nursery today and when I got homr he was so proud. He moved the babies towel off the changing table and thought the room was clean. He shoved toys into the corner. Will they ever learn? lol
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This would be what my Husband would say about me. I am a BAD housewife;)
I am very lucky I have a man that does woman cleaning... yes honestly. OK, I admit it, I do employ him to do my cleaning so he has to get it right.
Most guys don't seem to know what clean is, mine thinks it's when you throw everything under the bed.
Secretia
I definitely man vacuum. Because I don't think anything can lodge between the leg of the coffee table and the rug because uh...the table leg is there?
I gotta say that I can't complain my my husband's cleaning --WHEN he does clean.
Man cleaning doesn't exist here but I'm training my boys to pick up after themselves...a girl can dream.
*Sigh*
My man likes to clean the kitchen for me too. The only problem is that he NEVER EVER wipes off the counters.
I had to read this to my husband... he smiled sheepishly and agreed to everything! Men also have a higher tolerance for dirt. Dh's job is to vacuum which he will leave for weeks... I usually have invite people over so that he will clean :)
The way my husband cleans....
1.) Picks up all the large pieces of toys and stuff on the floor.
2.) Puts them in garbage bags because he has no idea where they go.
3.) Sweeps...kinda.
4.) Done. Aren't you impressed?
It is then my job to gush over his work, and to unpack any garbage bags he has filled. Soon too, just in case he confuses them with real garbage again, and you realize that your children are in fact not crazy, when they cry over all their missing toys, because your trash can starts talking to you in a plethora of animated voices, when you try to drag it to the curb.
I could do without Man Clean. Really.
Haha sounds way too familiar!
I cannot comment, as HE is ME in this relationship. My husband is a much better cleaner than I!
Oh, this is so true!
How true! I wish I had someone who liked to organize the garage and basement without me having to ask! I hate having to ask. If you see it needs to be done, then just do it.
You are so right on here!! We can only dream! LOL
Oh man, the dishes/kitchen has taken YEARS of "gentle conditioning" to get my husband to STOP using the spayer, 10 inches away from a dish, blasting water and food gunk EVERYWHERE, and then not wiping the counters with bleach or rinsing out the sink. Bless his heart he has gotten much better, though all that nagg-er um, "gentle conditioning" has caused him to develop a tick...
Man cleaning will never be the same as woman cleaning..unless you marry a gay man. And you don't want that. :)
Hey! I am a pretty good cleaner!!
Well, maybe not all that great. :))
Oh dear... LOL LOL!
I'm with you on the man non-cleaning thing, it's like living with a 5 year old boy.
MESSY!
I did train my hubby to do the dusting and cleaning toilets once a month, if he wants to keep getting his warm dinners.
Still not a good ratio, but it's better than nothing... :-/
funny post. My husband is a good cleaner. It was something that we fought about early on... because he was the only one cleaning our house.
Strangely the roles are now reversed and I agree... if there are more dishes than fit in the dishwasher, he would never wash them by hand... they stay on the counter.
When he vacuums, he vacuums the stuff he can see and leaves the rest of the room unvacuumed... very odd.
At least he does the laundry, by "do the laundry" he starts loads in the washer, puts them in the dryer and throws them on the floor in the family room... until they get folded...
I almost cracked up reading this because AS I am reading it, my husband is emptying and reloading our dishwasher and "cleaning" our kitchen!!! Needless to say I won't be on the computer long this morning because I will soon need to clean up behind him!
My husband is actually a better cleaner than I am. I clean like a man I guess.
When [and if] you get this figured out and discover a new way to teach your husband how to clean, please let me know. Because mine is pretty much clueless.
Let me translate for you. Man clean means he stacked things in piles. Find the neatly stacked piles and you will see how he "cleaned".
Man clean in this house means he washes his own water glass......sometimes. That's it.
If your guy does more than that, he's a champ.
Are you married to my husband?
I'm 7 months pregnant and I can NOT touch the floor. I also can lift anything heavier than a piece of paper or my hands go numb or stand up for more than 10 minute stretches without my feet looking like the Pillsbury Dough boy baked them. So, I've had to rely upon my husbands cleaning.
Now my house is a filthy pit and I can't wait until my mom comes in a month to help me sanitize (and I do mean sanitize). She's going to be horrified.
Have I complained to him? Nope. He's so proud of his handiwork. Also, I'm afraid he'd stop doing anything at all. So for now I'm just keeping the Kleenex close because I'm sneezing from all the dust.
Choose your battles right?
My husband is actually pretty good. For a man. He is awesome with all the laundry - even putting away. But you're right on other stuff. He'll clean the bathroom which is toilets/sink/counter but not the tub, or the floor etc... kitchen is, as you said, anything that doesn't need to be hand washed. But I appreciate the one I've got.
And does he load the dishwasher in the most abnormally inappropriate ways like mine does?
When I saw your post title, I knew exactly what you were talking about. I seriously think they have a filter in their brain that stops them from seeing crumbs and dirt and dust.
Classic post! Classic!
As much as I appreciate the help around the house, I will confess to "going over" what my husband has man cleaned when he's not around. Especially the kitchen and bathroom!
i can relate to this. except my hubby thinks that since he works all day, that his cleaning responsibility should be almost nothing. men! ugh! ;)
lmao. I would have said the same thing "what the hell are you talking about...?" However, thankfully my hunny really cleans when he says he does.
This is so stinking true! I will admit, once two of my sons went into the military things changed, for them at least. They can outclean any woman now, even me.
Maybe I need to have the recruiter pay a visit to their dad.
Love it! I agree whole-heartedly with the lack of dusting ability. He once told me that just moves dirt around. *sigh* Well, yes, when he did it!!
Great blog, visiting from Peanut Butter in My Hair's Sunday Shouta-out :)
Hey Hey Hey!
Not so fast there missy. I am proud to say that this man cleans a mean house, kitchen, vacuuming and all. And I do my own laundry and fold and put it away. In fact, if it weren't for me, this house would be a mess. Let's just say that cleaning is not my wife's strong suit.
P.S. I'm for hire. Just call 1-800-MANMAID.
The man cleaning drives me crazy. Everything needs to soak till I wash it. Arrghhh.
So true, so true!
Stop by my blog tomorrow. I have some surprises for you from yours truly!
Absolutely hysterical!!
What cracks me up is that men feel the "need" to tell us every minute thing they do for "us".
Congrats...men....would you like a ribbon or a medal :)
Man clean is NOT the same! But, when it happens I don't complain because it doesn't happen often for me! I'll take whatever clean help I can get! lol
BTW, thanks for the unfollow/refollow. Please let me know if I "appear" in your Dashboard again because you are one of my faves mama!
I'm so blessed -- The Husband does everything but toilets. :-) The thing I cringe over is when he dresses our girls... "Oh thank you honey -- now girls go back in the bedroom so I can change you." ;-)
No, Man Clean is not the same at all!I never see Man Clean though but once every year or two if I'm sick or something. My husband is a total slob.
LOL! Could our husbands be brothers? First cousins at least?
Ha! Be careful what you wish for! My husband is super-anal-clean-man. In fact, tonight, my parents were over for dinner and he was cleaning up our plates before we were done eating. He also can't go to sleep if there are clothes on the dresser, and god forbid I put one of my hair bands on the bathroom counter - apparently that is the grossest thing that I could do! I'm all for a clean house, but would like to finish my dinner before my plate is put in the dishwasher... I'm just sayin.
Man cleaning IS hot - if it's not obsessive.
my dh definitely does man cleaning. he just doesn't get it!
Very funny!!
Ahhh, it's posts like these that remind me how great it is to be single. ;)
You know, it's funny - for us, it's the opposite! I clean really well, but when we first started dating, he was definitely the superior cleaner. He'd move furniture when he vacuumed to make sure he cleaned everything. Eventually, when we started living together, I took over the cleaning duties, but for whatever reason, I've always felt like he cleaned better than I do, even now. But apparently, he can't be bothered to clean anymore - I can't remember the last time I came home to him saying that he cleaned something. Argh.
"very single piece of crap their kids and dogs have dropped or touched in the last 24 hours gets put AWAY." uh oh?? I've been man cleaning all my life.
This is exactly the reason why I will not get married unless he agrees money spent on a cleaning lady is money well spent. I clean like a man, our house would be disgusting!
Yep, two different species entirely. It was nice of him to try though.
Oh so true! You cracked me up. My husband does dishes, but rarely wipes down counters/stove. He just does not get it. When I comment on it, it makes it worse, so I just don't say anything. At least the dishes get cleaned.
omgosh, LOL!! at least he emptied and filled the dishwasher hehe:) boys will be boys? haha!
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We have just the opposite problem. My husband is a neat freak, and a compulsive cleaner (once he gets started) If I tell him I cleaned all day, I can see it on his face that he doesn't think the house is as clean as he'd do it. Oh well...whoever gets out the mop deserves the praise!
When company comes, my man scrapes things into drawers, and puts mail and any and everything else in a brown grocery bags, then stuffs them into a closet.
Not good.
It's scary, because I know some things will be going to the abyss - bills included.
My kids get a warning: "Clean up before your Daddy gets his hands on your things."
Yep, this is the EXACT same in my life
This is too funny! So true! I think we are married to the same person!
You are completely right. Cleaning to a man is not the same as cleaning for a woman.
I laughed several times when reading this. So true!
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