That Will Teach Him!

Hubby bought US a sweet little surround sound that we really really needed.
(Can you hear sarcasm in bloggy land??)
Truthfully, I didn't put up much of a fuss. He is a pretty amazing guy so should I really complain that he went out and dropped a few hundred dollars on a system that
A) We don't need, and
B) could have put the money towards that hardwood floor we have been saving for..or more realistically our credit card, or
3) oh yeah Did I mention we don't need it?!

But I digress. He brings this little baby home. Gets it all set up and...
It doesn't work

Let me shorten up a very lengthy story for you.

For the next 14 days our conversations EVERY DAY went like this.

"Hubby, when are you going to return the broken BOSE system"
"ModernMom, Don't worry I will...I just can't find the receipt"

We have now passed the magic 14 day return day mark that most retailers seem to have.
Now we OWN a system that we don't need and that doesn't work! Grrr.

Time to take action.

I packed up said system.
Drove to the store.
Talked real sweet to the little lovely behind the counter.
And then exchanged it for this:




I am all kinds of excited!
I'm not sure what it says about me that I have been lusting after the Dyson DC28 Animal Vacuum with Pneumatic Actuator, High-torque clutch, and Finger tip controls ...perhaps Suburbia has finally rotted my brain.
What I do know is... that will teach him!

Lessons from the Convertible

Driving a car with no top is different then driving down the road in your regular type cruiser.
Some things to consider before taking your little baby out for a spin...
*Choose lipstick over gloss. The wind is gonna be blowin baby and your hair is like a moth to a flame. Hair covered in lip gloss is just not cute.
*When your driving with the top down it helps if your a Hat girl. Can't pull off the hat Kelly Ripa style? Then stop wearing your sunglasses to keep the sun out of your eyes! Use them in the way they were intended to keep your hair in it's oh so stylish place.
*It doesn't hurt to keep an elastic in the glove box. Exiting the car with a mane like a lion is like so 80's.
*Bugs are not your friend. Do a teeth check before exiting the car. No seriously, check em, girls are not pretty with wings of bugs between their pearly whites.
*Do not make eye contact with anyone. Ever. If you do, be prepared for conversations with complete strangers. Apparently because you are cruising with no roof you are now easy....to talk to. Suddenly, every dude from the over confident 16 year old with his cocky friends and learners permit, to the senior citizen with the coke bottle glasses thinks they can try out a pick up line on you. (Okay so I will admit this part is a wee bit nice for a gals ego)
Last but not least...
*Don't park under trees. Do you know what lives in trees. Birds. Bird poop is the enemy. Ewww.

Canadian Cookout. . .

 

Where's the chef? The grill is ready! (We will just ignore the fire smouldering underneath. Hubby is sure it will go out on it's own.)

Want to be Nosy with Me?

The brilliant Sara at Domestically Challenged went ahead and thought it would be fun to nominate me for a 1 word meme challenge. Hope my answers are half as interesting as hers!

Here’s how it works: USE ONLY ONE WORD!
It’s not as easy as you might think. Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to use only one-word answers.
1. Where is your cell phone? kitchen
2. Your hair? blondish
3. Your mother? protective
4. Your father? strong
5. Your favorite food? popcorn (do snacks count as food?)
6. Your dream last night? shopping
7. Your favorite drink? coffee
8. Your dream/goal? travel
9. What room are you in? family
10. Your hobby? photography
11. Your fear? ill-health
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? content
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? short
15. Muffins? need
16. Wish list item? hardwood
17. Where did you grow up? Ontario
18. Last thing you did? carpool
19. What are you wearing? jeans
20. Your TV? off
21. Your pets? shedding
22. Friends? complicated
23. Your life? busy
24. Your mood? hopeful
25. Missing someone? Hubby
26. Vehicle? Ford
27. Something you’re not wearing? bra
28. Your favorite store? shoes
29. Your favorite color? pink
30. When was the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? today
32. Your best friend? Hubby
33. One place that I go to over and over? Grocery
34. One person who emails me regularly? Hubby
35. Favorite place to eat? take-out after the kids are in bed with candles and wine (ahhh enough with the one words! LOL)

Now I am nominating these 5 gorgeous women to take this challenge so we can be nosy, errrr I mean, learn a wee bit more about them. Hop on over and visit their blogs, you won't be disappointed!

Jennifer at It's A Beauty Filled Life
Gina Maire at Dear Blog She is new to the bloggy world...go show her some love!
Tiffany at Paging Doctor Mommy
Amy at Escape Into My Thoughts
and even though it seems everyone may already know her!
blueviolet over at A Nut in a Nutshell
because who wouldn't want to know more!


Hugs from the Suburbs!

Small Victories

There was enough cream left for 1 more coffee.

I made muffins with the girls and only ate one!

There was a $20.00 bill in my rain coat.

That stupid train finally moved and I wasn't late to pick up the kids.

The battery for the video camera was charged.

Both daughters were invited to play dates on the same day.

I found the piece of gum in SweetGirls pocket before it went into the washing machine.

That number on the scale went DOWN!

The weather man was wrong and the sun IS shining.

There was enough toilet paper left on the roll that I wasn't forced to choose between drip dry or Glamour Magazine!

Sometimes you just have to take joy in life's little victories!

The Ultimate Suburban Mom Uniform?

I have caved. I purchased the ultimate in the essential suburban mom uniform.
A pair of Lululemon pants and of course a little hoodie to go with them.
The process to get these little babies was a unique shopping experience that will not soon be forgotten! As I wandered about this somewhat spandex laden store I realized I was surrounded by an alarming number of uber fit women. I ignored them all and searched out the pants who as urban legend will have it..is famed to transform all butts into objects of art. A few hard bodies disguised as women was not going to dissuade me from seeing if this legend was true.
Now. To the selection. I scoop up my size. (I'm not telling you my size, it's none of your business) But, am I a tall or a regular? I am a tall girl. Nearly 5 foot 10 inches but I have to tell you, doing that thing we all do, holding those pants up to myself to "measure" them, it looks like these tall pants were made for Amazons! I grab some pants in my size, and the size up. (No girl wants to have to beg for someone to go get her a size bigger, size smaller great, bigger no.) Also grabbed both the regular and tall variety. My arms were getting full!

The perky little sales girl at the changing room requests my name and writes it down on a white board attached to my change room in big bold script. She then proceeds to ask me what I will be using my Lulus for?
Thinking on my feet I quickly stammer "Oh, just my treadmill at home."
Shut.Up.
What was I supposed to say?
I can't tell her I just want these pants to strut around the house in. That I just came in to see if the urban legend was true. That I want to see if these are truly magic pants that makes your ass look 10 years younger. That I figure my Hubby might think they are hot.

I slip out of my jeans and into the Lulus.
AHHHH... What. Turn. Turn. Giggle. Seriously?
Price check.
Gulp. $98.00
Don't care!
These pants are GREAT!
I'm buying a new butt today!
I can not get to the cash register fast enough.

I text Hubby from the parking lot.

Bought new pants u r going to LUV.

Oh Yeah. Let me just say. The legend? She is true.
Run, don't walk, to get yourself some new Lululemons and the brand new swagger that comes with it.

http://howtosurvivelifeinthesuburbs.blogspot.com/

A Dirty Little Blog Award

I'm quite tardy in passing along this dirty little award from the ever entertaining Emily over at Maternal Tales from the South Coast. (I do love the name of this award, but much like Emily can't bring myself to type the horrid name, must be the Mom in me) Okay so I'm really not THAT pure. I sure as hell (ha ha) have no trouble saying it when the little ones are not under foot and I have a nice glass of chardonnay in my hand. Wine makes my brazen..and sexy, and better looking. Wine makes EVERYONE better looking. Sigh. I love wine.

Oh, I digress.

So the rules with this little lovely are:

List five current obsessions and pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs. On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them. When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well. To add the award to your post, simply right-click, save image, then “add image” in your post as a picture so your winners can save it as well. To add it to your sidebar, add the “picture” widget. Also, don’t forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by leaving a comment on their blog.

5 of My Current Obsessions.
This should be Easy.

1) Yogurt covered pretzels. Both salty and sweet. Junk food covered in something I can pretend is healthy. Good for breakfast, lunch, dinner and that little meal we fondly refer to as 10ses. Yes they are a problem...for my butt.

2) The new kitten in my house. It's true I play it cool as if it is only the kids that are obsessed with this little white cottonball, but the moment my babies are in bed I'm the first one to sweep up that purring little bundle of warmth for a cuddle and a nap. Sigh.

3) Time. I am feeling the crunch of time. Summer is nearly half way over and I have so many "memories" I need to cram into the next month. Summer is not long enough.

4) Photography. I love love that Thoughtful Hubby bought me an amazing camera for Christmas. I'm sure my family is sick of me snapping their pictures every time I turn around. How do I know this? They call me the Paparazzi Mama.

5) Blogging of course. I love finding new reads, getting comments on my blog and discovering that I have a new follower. Summer has slowed me down, but this is Canada...the good weather won't last long!

Now I get to pass this little baby along. I think I will pick some of my newest reads so you can discover them too!

Adventures in China

Lipstick Rules

Theta Mom

Positively Neurotic Me

Too Many Hats

Please tell them I'm sending them some love!
MWAH

View of the Beach

 

Muskoka chairs with a view of the lake. Sigh... I long to return.

Ode to Lip Gloss

I woke up this morning..wait did I even sleep?
So SO tired.
Red. Puffy eyes.
Rats nest where my hair used to be..
Felt like crap.... from the new zit emerging on my shiny little chin, to my unshaven ankle bone.

How can I possibly go out and greet the world?

To every woman's secret weapon..the bathroom vanity.

Visine-red eyes be gone.
Eyelash curler-thank you for the fake awake.
Cover-up-bye BYE zit. (bless the makers of quality cover-up)
Bronzer-fake glow wipe out that pastey shine.
Gloss-lips from dull to soft and kissable.
CHI flat iron-ahh a miracle worker...bye bye rats nest.
Push Up Bra- now I know Victoria's Secret.
Venus Razor-smooth and sexy for one more day.
Black skirt and top-elongate and minimize baby.
High Heel-bless you, those three inches are stretching these gams.

I swear to you I look like a different woman then the one that greeted me in the mirror this morning.
Without the magic vanity chock full of drops, sprays, powders and tools the world would be a much scarier place.....for you!
Bless you magic vanity.

Who Needs Men?

Have you heard? There has been a scientific break through. Apparently it won't be long before the medical community will have perfected artificial sperm.
Yes, I said artificial. Huh. Have we perhaps gone too far with this one??

The first artificial sperm have been created with the use of embryonic stem cells.

Hubby's concern "Great. Now women will have no need for men."

I quickly reassured him. Not only do I have no need for genetically created sperm but I need me my Man!

Why just think if there were no men in the world?

True, there would be less farting, belching and football but

...who would kill all the scary bugs we find in the house?
...who would lift all the super heavy boxes?
...who would you send downstairs to investigate the things that go bump in the night?
...who would you beg to go get the ice cream and pickles for those midnight cravings?
...who would rub your swollen ugly feet?
...who else would tell you you're beautiful when you look like you swallowed a basketball or two?
...who would hold your hand when you cry as your babe is born, again when your little one goes to school, and probably a million other time is the next 40-65 years?


GO ahead make your artificial sperm...I'm sticking to the old fashioned stuff.

Short and Sweet Random Thought

It's been rainy and cold for three days.
There are 4 little girls in my family room singing Jonas Brothers at the top of their lungs.
I am in Karaoke Hell.

Is It Just Me?

I took my darling daughters to swimming lessons this morning. As we entered the change room there stood an approximately 11 year old girl standing beside the hand dryer. She was completely naked with the exception of her bright pink flip flops. She had this hand dryer turned up and on pointed at her head, brush in hand, casually brushing and drying her shoulder length blonde hair. She methodically brushed her hair and watched all the other Moms and daughters come in and out of the change rooms. All those other little girls used the curtained changing areas, clearly provided for privacy. I averted my eyes.

Blonde girls mother sat in the corner, a look of complete disinterest on her face.
I found her daughters lack of modesty shocking. Her Mothers lack of awareness of the gawking crowd...disturbing.

In this day and age when children are snatched on a daily basis, where pedophiles have their own data bases, should 11 year old girls be naked..even in a change room?

My Mommy instinct screams out no! I encourage my daughters to cover up. Take advantage of provided change rooms. I encourage modesty.
They may not know it yet, but this is partly to protect them.
I have gone beyond don't talk to strangers, I am trying to instill street sense, a healthy sense of danger and a knowledge of predators. I hope I have not sacrificed their childhood innocence. As the saying goes "Better Safe then Sorry".

So, have I gone to far? Am I too overprotective? Is there even such a thing anymore. Because I have to tell you what I really wanted to do was give Blonde Girls uninterested Mom a shake, and hand that girl a towel.

Bringing Home Baby

It is official, I have lost my mind, gained status as "the best Mommy ever".

 

Phineas meet Shadow, our 13 week old Ragdoll Himalayan cross Kitty.

 

 

Any doubts I had were quickly washed away when my 7 year old declared she didn't know what to dream about tonight..all her dreams had come true.
Ahhhhh.

Am I A Cat Person??

When I met Handsome Hubby and fell deeply madly forever in love, I knew I was in for a life that would include some four legged creatures. He was born and bred on a horse farm, surrounded by creatures big and small. Dogs, Cats, Horses, they were part of who he was.

Fast forward about 15 years and Hubs and I have it pretty well sorted out. We have two beautiful girls, a black lab, and 1 smelly fish.

That, I thought, was that.

Until my wonderful Mother In Law stepped in. Yes, I have to put the blame somewhere. MIL had found the cutest kitty that ever lived. We simply had to go and take a look at this poor baby, because being the animal lovers that we are, clearly we are the ones most easily guilted into "saving" poor kitty.

I took the bait. What the hell was I thinking? For the past two weeks every conversation has revolved around cats, kittens and included some kind of begging from the small people in my house.

At this point I should probably mention my ten year old daughter has asked for a kitten for Christmas every year since she was two. BlueEyes sleeps with a stuffed cat we have affectionately dubbed flat cat due to fact that it has been cuddled with for so long and so hard that it is in fact FLAT.

So the update.
MIL now informs me the Mama Kitty has come back. She rubbed up against the legs of FIL, accepted some food from him, collected her cutest kitty ever and MOVED ON! Took that free kitty and left. My babies actually cried. And secretly, I was a little disappointed? Huh? I didn't expect that.
I have always thought that cats were, well...kind of spooky.
Scary light up eyes.
Shedding messes.
Sneaky little suckers.

But...
I feel like it is now or never. 10 more years and my girls are off to University, Hubs and I off to travel the world right?
We have the girls hopes up so high. Thanks MIL.
Kittens are ridiculously cute.
Maybe it would help me to get over the no third baby thing?
My girls did promise to scoop all poop, vacuum all hair, clean up general grossness. (yeah unrealistic, I know)
The biggest thing....It would make their little dreams come true and how often do you really get to play Fairy God Mother and make a dream come true?

So with the power of the Internet I started combing breeders, kitty sites, and shelters looking to see if there were any more Kitty's that needed to be rescued.
OK so there are like a million of them.
Then we made the rounds.
We went to Pet Stores. Shelters. Farms.
Was I trying to talk myself into a kitty or out of one?

Are we adopting? AHHH! I don't know for sure, but we are going back to see a cute white little baby with the Pushover Hubby tomorrow.
Things don't look great for me, my vacuum and the dog.

Escape From the Suburbs

 

I've decided.
Five nights away from the daily grind is good for the soul.
It probably doesn't matter where you go, it's the getting that is important.
Days spent torn between the sun on the front deck or the breeze on the white beach.
Deciding between walks in the woods or quiet snuggles on the couch.
Knee deep in sandcastles and sunscreen.
Ice cold Corona with good friends.
BBQ's and Take Out.
Ice Cream dripping from delighted chins.
Rip roaring giggles of care free kids crashing in the waves.
Beach Chairs and Sunsets.
Exhausted children carried off to bed.
Time alone to re-charge and re-connect.
Time to smile, relax and remind ourselves how truly lucky we are.
The only problem...
I really wasn't ready to come home.

Wisdom from My 7 Year Old

I'm back from a fabulous, restful, sunny vacay on the beach. I truly was not ready to give up the good life and come back to reality...but I did!

So so much catching up to do both in the blogging world and in my real life...so for now, just some wise words from my SweetGirl.

It is amazing what you hear when you have time to slow down and really listen...

Mean People Suck.

I hate it when you have this great thought in your head and then...you forget what you were going to say.

Why can't boys and girls just get along?

Why do some people think they are SO much better then other people? She just needs to get over herself!

Beach sand does not belong in your teeth. Uck.

There is no better place in the world then digging in the sand with your sister, your Mommy and your Daddy. Can we have ice cream now?

Kittens and Daiquiris Don't Mix

Wonderful, amazing, adoring, going to get anything he wants Hubby called from work today.

Do you want the interesting news or the great news. He asks.

I opted for the interesting first. I like my dessert last.

I had a very long conversation with my Mother today, (oh oh I think) and she tells me their barn cat had kittens. She claims in her life, she has never seen a cuter kitten then this little beauty in need of love.

Oh crap on a stick! Do you know what my kids beg for every time we go to buy DOG food. For our big black DOG. A kitten. This is not a passing phase. This has been going on for SIX years.

Now I am a Mother torn. I already clean up fur from the DOG who will not stop shedding even though I threatened to vacuum her, and I am the only one who cleans the stinky fish bowl. I might even be the only one who feeds Chips the fish. Are we really going to add a kitty ...a helpless, cute, won't survive without us kitty to our clan?

Must.not.cave.to.cuteness.

 

Must change subject.

What is the great news? I ask all kinds of distracted.

My parents are NOT using their lake house next week (yes I said lake house) and said we can take it if the kids are interested in some time at the beach?

IF WE ARE INTERESTED? They won't even be there! We can HAVE the lake house? Now I'm spinning in circles, packing, thinking about making my kids dream come true with a ridiculously cute kitty, and day dreaming about the sun, the sandcastles, the daiquiris the candles, the BBQ. The amazing family vacation that just fell in my lap!


What to do?
Decide while drinking daiquiris on the beach.
Sounds reasonable.
Please don't forget me when I'm gone...
You will have to check back to see if we adopt the cutest cat that ever lived!

 

See you in a week!

Like you haven't heard enough about me!

I am way behind and accepted a lovely award which I simply must pass along!
Sweet thanks to Colleen over at Martin Family Moments!
Check this out.
To accept this award, I must list 7 personality traits about myself and I must pass this award onto 7 other blogs that deserve such fine recognition for the personalities that they share with the blogging world.
So here it goes, look out I'm going to be spreading my personality all over you!
1. I am a talker. I will chat with anyone from the clerk behind the counter to the new Mom on the playground. Life is too short, must chat. (I'm not sure my kids would agree)
2. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, I love my quiet. Give me a good book, a cup of hot chocolate and a roaring fire and I am one happy girl.
3. I have no patience for liars. Thinks that sums it up. If you don't want the truth from me, don't ask. I'll be nice about it, but I'm your friend who will somehow tell you "Yes darlin..you look fat in those pants."
4. I can be fierce. Do not wrong my children or my Hubby. I will protect them with every once of my being. Clearly there is a lioness inside of me...I think she came to be with the birth of my first child.
5. I am, or have been too trusting. Perhaps even a little naive. I take people at their word. That can be a hard lesson to learn.
6. I do not forgive easily. (but I am working on that)
7. I love with my whole heart. My husband and our relationship, my children, my family and friends. I would do anything for this group of wonderful people. I am blessed to have them in my life and thank God for them everyday.

I think some of those personality traits shine through in my blog...if not stay tuned, more to come:)



Now I get to pass on this little baby to 7 other bloggers I would like to know a little more about. Forgive me if you have already received it, don't fret if your not on it. I would have copied this award to every single one of you but my gosh I take forever to do the little linky love thing!

So the award, should you choose to accept it, goes to:
Danielle over at Stiletto Chicken
Don't you just love that name?
Amy at And 1 More Means four She is too cute.
Tiffany at Paging Doctor Mommy She is my newest read. If you head on over please tell her I say Hi!
Kathleen over at If I wasn't smiling, I'd be crying! I promise you will be intrigued.
ZoesMom at where else but ZoesMom She has some amazing posts!
Another new read of mine is over at ThatGirlBlogs. Great blog. That. Girl. Blogs. Baby!
Oh and of course I can't forget to send you to China! Adventures in China to be exact!



Hope you get to know and love these bloggers as much as I do!

Thanks again Colleen
Oh Wait!!
I have just decided you need me to brag about myself a wee bit more! ThetaMom gifted me with One Lovely Blog Award today!

I realized I just passed this little lovely on recently and don't want to become a bore so instead I will please ask you to jump on over to Theta Mom's blog with a cup of joe and have a great read!
Thanks again for this lovely award, I really do appreciate it!
Mwah!

Passive Aggressive Letters. . . . with Love

Dear Donut Man,
I truly love that your coffee is warm and that your sweet forbidden sugary pastry goodness is available fresh right from the oven. I guess that would explain why it is a little bit warm in here. However, cashier number 2 clearly has a glandular problem. His sweat is pouring down his forehead like a marathon runner at the end of a race. It drips off his chin and splashes on the counter. He just used his long sleeve shirt to wipe his perspiring cheeks. As I wait in line calculating if he will be the man serving me today, I realize every patron in your store is doing the same thing. We all mumble "please not him...please not him".
For the sake of all the germaphobes in the world, to keep the Health Department from knocking on your door, to stop that man from passing out from dehydration, to keep me from finding another donut shop to haunt....give him 5, get him a cold cloth and turn on your air conditioning!


Dear Potential Guest
I sent out an party invitation to you 6 weeks ago. At the bottom of said invitation was a very polite...please RSVP by.... It is now 1 week before the party and still I have not heard from so many of you. Is it really so difficult to check you calender and respond.
Find you manners.


Dear Pharmacy Assistant
I can tell your plans for this weekend are going to be off the hook! How do I know this, well because I so rudely dragged you away from your conversation from your friend so I could give you the prescription I received from my DOCTOR. As you sullenly took my name and number I was over the top polite to you. Why? I am praying you fill my script in a timely manner. Oh, and if you have the time do you think you can wash your hands BEFORE you help the pharmacist fill my prescription? I wouldn't bathe my dog with nails that filthy.

With Love...

Deep Thoughts. . .

Life is short,
Break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly,
Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably,
And never regret anything that made you smile.


*Author unknown but appreciated.