More Passive Aggressive Letters....with Love

Dear Grocery Clerk
So you have switched to "bring your own bags" at this great grocery giant. I love the environment. I have no problem with that. I bought my reusable bags a long long time ago. Even got one of those nifty bins for hauling groceries. But here is a tip. Just because those industrial strength bags and bins can hold 50lbs of groceries each...DOESN'T MEAN I CAN LIFT THEM!!

Dear Gas Station Attendant
If when you pump my gas for me, which I do appreciate even though I have paid a premium so I don't stink like gasoline for the remainder of the day, and you then spill that liquid gold down the side of my brand new car....please take one moment and wipe it off. Stinky smelly stain. UG

Dear Fellow Parent
I'm glad you enjoyed the field trip today. It is nice when we can take the kids out to see the experts in action. Could you please remember that THEY are the experts. To tell you the truth, nobody really wanted to hear your account of the caterpillars that fell on your head in South Carolina, when you think that tree will grow a new set of leaves, or why you think the dams in this area are superior to the ones further north. YOU are not the expert. Thanks Cliff Clavin but move along.

Dear Hostess
I'm sorry to hear you have had a busy night. We did make a reservation for dinner 3 weeks ago for 6pm for 4. Yes that is my name right there. I understand you could be a little behind 15 minutes, maybe 20? Half an hour is too much. In the words of the great Jerry Seinfeld: You can take the reservation, clearly your problem is KEEPING the reservation.

Dear Pool Guy
(yes again with the pool guy)
Please. Put your shirt on.

Lovely er Lemonade Anyone?

Who Me?

Many thanks to One with, One without
Now I'm told I am to accept the award, post it on my blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.

Pass the award to 10 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award!

But wait there is more!!


More of those big thank-yous to:
Rebel Mom over there at Another Day in the Madhouse bestowed the coveted Lemonade Award to me! Thanks Sweetie!

Such a great way to spread the love and discover some great new blogs too!

The rules of this little beauty, I must name 3 things I am grateful for and then pass it on to ten other blogs.

Here is the catch. Anyone who has been reading me know I always break this last rule. I will pass these awards on to just a couple of my newest guilty pleasures. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I do!

I would like to gift the Lovely Blog award to:
Kat over at Sassy Irish Lassie

Margo from Life in the Short Lane

Erica at But Mommy...

Heather at Run Faster Mommy

CenzLucccsmom from My2Muses

Rachel at A Reservation for Six

Now the Lemonade Award...I gift to:

Missy at Is It Just Me?

Bev from Twelve Months of Mayhem

Martha at A Sense of Humour is Essentail

and last but in no way least!

Nora way over there The Johnson Diaries

Hope you all like the love!

Now I believe I am to list three things for which I am grateful..I'm guessing besides Lemonade...

1. My Family, include gorgeous Hubby and two Beautiful girls. (They are mine I am allowed to brag)

2. That Summer Vacation is just around the corner. Yes I am one of the odd ducks who love loves to have the kids at home. Do not hold this information against me if I complain lovingly in about 8 weeks time about how they are "bored" and driving me crazy.

3. This new crazy world of blogging. A place to vent, read, cry and smile with the rest of this incredible community of intelligent people!

Now go spread the love!

Things I Learned Today

*Very few things at the dollar store are actually a dollar.

*I will eat yogurt covered pretzels until I feel sick if for no other reason then to hide the evidence.

*Just because the check out girl can fill my environmentally friendly bag to a whopping weight of 50 lbs does not mean I can carry it.

*Senior Citizens and Toddlers - If either of them tell you they need a washroom. They mean immediately.

*My car can go at least 10 miles further after that little alarm sounds and the dial reaches E! (whew)

*There are some great ice cream bars out there under 100 calories. Thank Goodness, now I can justify eating 2 at a time.

Bloggy Love

Seriously, how lucky am I? I have been blogging for a fairly short time. During this time I have been blessed to discover some great reads and unleash my creative demon. A wonderful little bonus. Awards! Who knew...and it I will admit it, it feels so good. I love comments, I adore new followers, and now I love awards.
I'm going to pass on these little beauties...but being who I am...I will break the rules a bit. If I was to pass the first award to 10, the second to 7 etc. Well I'd drive you all crazy and award every single one of you (I just don't have that many readers) Instead please know that I love you all as I select 1 winner for each award!

Thanks so much to the sweetie over their in Kellogsville AND to the Mom Gone Mad over there at Mum in Chaos who both bestowed upon me the Lemonade Award! Yes, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade, when a bloggy friend gives you a Lemonade Award, you spread the love!

This award is to show gratitude and I have to pass it on to some blogs that I appreciate and am grateful for.
I have realized in a very short time that I am grateful for every single comment and for every follower. I didn't start out thinking I would have even 1 follower! (side note, I lost a follower yesterday..where or where did you go...what did I say to offend you so...it hurt when you left me)
Blogging was not meant to be about finding followers, I had hoped it would be a place where I could vent, emote, write with out judgment. It's turned into that and so much more. I have realized that there are so many other women out there who "get" exactly where I am coming from. Who feel the same way I do. Who have the same experiences, who can chuckle and cry right along with me. Who knew blogging would be it's very own gift.
I have chosen to pass this award on the Lemonade Award to:
Kimert over at Diaries of a Coach's Wife She is one of my new reads. Go check out her great blog!

My second award was gifted to me by Ambersmilz over at A look into the common life.
She thinks I'm Fabulous! Right back at ya!

My choice for a Fabulous Blog today is:
Loukia over at Loulou's View's
She shoots from the hip and tells it like it is. Her love for her kids is evident and her blog is a true pleasure to read. Please go check her out!

This little lovely was bestowed on me for the second time by the witty women of Daily Doses of Mama Drama. These are two seriously entertaining women. If you haven't read their blog you should!

I bestow the Lovely Blog Award to:
Busy Bee Suz over at Day by Day..My Life as a Busy Bee Suz, you probably already have this award...and a million more but just had to give it to you anyway! If you have not checked out this blog you need to. I promise you will love it and become as quickly addicted as I did!

Last but not least, one of my new faves and 1 more means four passed on the Honest Scrap to me.


The rules of this award are that we need to choose 7 blogs to pass this award onto, and list 10 facts about ourselves as well.
I'm going to pass this Honest Scrap award on to:
Suzy over at Where Hot Comes to Die This girl knows funny! One of the first blogs I started reading and I can't stop...if you have not been over to see her, what are you waiting for?
Now I guess I better at least follow the some of the rules of this last award.
10 facts about me:
1.I have but a few great loves in my life. My kids, my Hubby, my chocolate and my coffee.
2.I'd pick a Saturday night at home with a big bowl of popcorn and a movie over a night out on the town.
3. I detest liars.
4. I'm incredibly protective of my friends and would do anything for them.
5. I dream of traveling through Europe.
6. I try every day to be the best parent I can be, I hope my kids look back at their childhood with smiles and fond memories.
7. I'm tall. 5 ft 9.5 inches and blonde (with assistance), but not dumb!
8. I hate the dentist.
9. I love summer and heat and sunshine.
10. I believe in Happily Ever After. Nothing wrong with the dream :)

Oh oh One more from the super fab and super organized gal way over there at Marbella Designs. Please please go on over there and say Hello!
It's the Kreativ Blogger Award! How amazing!

I now have to list 7 of my favorite things and then award this to 7 more bloggers I think deserve this award.
Seven of my favorite things:
1. My family
2. Travel
3. Summers and all the lazy days around the pool.
4. My camera...I am driving everyone I know crazy taking pictures!
5. Quiet evenings and huge roaring fires.
6. Cooking up a great big dinner with my hubby..just for us, or for close friends.
7. No list of my fave things is complete without chocolate. Gee I sound a wee bit pathetic!

I know get to pass this little beauty on to one of my newest addictions:
Carpoolqueen's Blog. Love love her.

Guess that's it. Thanks for the bloggy love...Hope you enjoy yours and pay it forward!

Things I Mumbled to Myself Last Night

It's late.
I'm tired.
Seriously, how can a family of four make this big a mess.
Didn't I just clean the girls bathroom two days ago.
Yep. That is a barbie head with green Colgate "shampoo" blocking the drain. Revolting.
How can there be dog hair up here? The dog is not allowed upstairs.
I feel like a maid.
Taking a toothbrush to the moulding in here is the only way this baby is coming clean.
Need to dust.
Why are the dressers such crap magnets?
Need to clean the toilets. Lovely.
Dishes.
Three baskets of laundry to put away? Forget it! This last one is going in the bottom of the closet. Full.
Swiffer...I love you.
I am so thankful my hubby is a wizard with the vacuum.
I hate my carpet.
Shuffle this here.
Shuffle that there.
Toys to the basement.
Eww am I actually sweating?
Time to stop this madness.

Why am I running around like a crazy women until ten at night?
The In-Laws are coming.
Just trying to organize the chaos here in Suburbia

10 Reasons I'm Not Losing Weight

Why is it that every time I turn on my laptop there is some sweet little article ready to lecture me on the reasons I'm failing miserably at losing those last couple of pounds?
It screams...Read me...I have the secret..I know the reasons you can't lost weight.
The Internet, the magazines even the television is mocking me.

Some of the wise ones ideas go a little like this:
1. You are not getting enough sleep
2. You don't need to lose any weight, you are at your ideal weight
3. You have reached a plateau
4. You need to exercise more
5. You are eating the wrong things
6. You have not given yourself enough time to lose the weight
7. Your goals are unrealistic
8. You eat too fast
9. Your kitchen should be closed after 8pm
10.You need to squeeze in a workout during your lunch hour


Huh. Can we get real for a minute? I don't think these grand and glorious oh so general ideas on these neat and tidy "fix it" lists can apply to your average Momma in Suburbia.
Here are my well thought out excuses...er I mean rebuttals:

1. It is true, I don't get enough sleep, but Hello! Moms never get enough sleep.
2. The theory that I'm not losing any more weight because I don't need to is well, crap. If I don't need to lose any weight then what is this wee muffin top hanging over the top of my jeans? It was NOT there a couple of months ago.
3. I have not reached a plateau. This ModernMom does not believe in plateaus...I only had 10 pounds to lose..I'm not stopping at pound number 8.
4. Yes, Okay..everybody needs to exercise more. Who wants to loan me a personal trainer and extend the day to 25 hours.
5. So chocolate is one of the wrong things to eat, but it is a staple in my life and vital to my emotional well being. It stays.
6. I have not given myself enough time to lose "the weight". I don't have any more time. Summers in Canada are short. It starts in like a week and will be over in about 90 days.
7. My goals are not unrealistic. I'm not asking to be 19 again or walk the catwalk. I know eating well is not going to reverse the aging process, I just want to look hot in at least one pair of jeans.
8. I'm eating too fast? Yes. Every Mother eats too fast. If you don't eat fast..you don't eat.
9. Close my kitchen? Seriously? 8pm is when I start my last load of laundry, make those lunches, fill out field trip forms. My day is not nearly over! Many a night Hubby and I don't get dinner until way way after 8pm. Are we to skip this meal?
10. I'm sorry, squeeze in a workout during my lunch hour? I don't have a lunch hour. Sometimes I don't have a lunch! Sometimes my lunch is what ever the kids didn't finish on their plates!

So why am I not losing the weight. Well I am, but frankly I could do without all the nagging. Every woman I know is working to be a better version of themselves. The reminders with the size 0 models talking about the benefits of "their" diet being the only one, and the before and after pictures with no touch ups at all..enough already.
Can we have some realism please?
Life is tough, emotional eating happens, weight goes up and down, and beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Jenny Craig Weight Watchers Herbal One Special K Hoddi South Beach and Oprah! Back off.

Time to be healthy and happy with who we are. That IS what we preach to our children!

Cheers to all the women out there.

Now excuse me..there is some chocolate frosting in my fridge calling my name!

Stupid Stresses in Suburbia

~Geez do I look fat in this top-I need to lose 5 pounds.
~My legs are so white!
~How have I waited so long to get my hair done? Check out those roots!
~Crap. Is that a Zit?
~I forgot to get juice boxes.
~My perfect carpool fell through.
~What if BlueEyes doesn't make the team? She will be heart broken.
~Field trip forms. Can't forget the field trip forms.
~Must re-schedule the dreaded Dentist appointments. I hope I don't pass on my fear of the Dentist to my babies.
~Did I set the DVR?
~Did I unplug the hair straightener?
~What did I do before Visine and under eye concealer? Make up is fully awesome!
~Am i going to go to the shower for Whats her name?
~This house is a DISASTER!
~Why won't the dang dog stop shedding?
~Only 3 more loads of laundry today...that will help with the pile.
~There are not enough hours in the day.


Eight year old Victoria Stafford is never coming home. Her Mommy and Daddy never again get to hold her, hug her and kiss her good night. The Police in Woodstock are dragging the bottoms of lakes and combing fields and woods trying to find the body of that innocent child. Senseless.

Suddenly my stresses, my worries..I have none.
Thank God for my two healthy, happy children and my tight knit little family of four.
I love everything about my crazy little life right here in Suburbia.

Go hug your babies.
God Bless that little Girl's family.

38 is the new 60

Have I turned some invisible corner down here in Suburbia?
Something is different.

It wasn't that long ago that I would catch the odd guy, man, even boy-child checking me out. He might have been a cradle robbing early 20s or a dude pushing his middle 40's that had given me the eye. I never really thought about it, it just was a part of my day.

Lately there has been a change in the men who's glances are lasting a little too long, who stop and stare or even wink inappropriately!
They are OLD.
What I'm seeing is well past the salt and pepper stage and into full on grey.
Smile lines have turned into wrinkles.
Convertibles and mini-vans have turned into Town Cars.
What the hell is going on?
My Birthday is this week and I will be 38. Apparently it's time to hit the gym, go for a facial and stop hanging out at the grocery store before 8am because either I'm looking old or the senior citizens out there are getting pretty cocky!
I guess 38 is the new 60.



Note from the Author:
This is the point where I feel the need to say..I am well aware that I am one of the few who is blessed to actually still be in love with my hubby after more then twelve years. He is my best friend, my soul mate, the man I was meant to be with. I thank God every day for him and our family. He still flirts with me even though only senior citizens are the only other men out there who think I'm hot! Love you baby!

Things that make you go Hmmm?

Got an envelope in the mail today.
It wasn't a bill.
Good start.
Pretty little envelope, scrolly writing.
Open it up and it's an invite to a baby shower?
For....who?
Do I know someone who is pregnant?
I don't think so.
OK wait.
Someone who just had a baby?
Gee, not that I can think of.
I don't recognize this name.
I have no earthly idea who this is for?
I don't recognize the name of the lady hosting either.
This envelope is addressed to me and my girls.
BY NAME.
It's my address.
How do I not know who the honouree is?
Think Think Think
Rack that brain.

Ah Ha!
Emma had a baby about three weeks ago!
Hubby's second cousin's girlfriend.
I have met her.... mmm I think twice?

Guess I'm going to a baby shower?

The Big Reveal

So which one was the lie?

Pool hopping! Although if I had been one of those kids that was more scared of my friends then my Dad, this one would be true too. Yes, there were lots of young teens in my neighbourhood who went from house to house hopping in and out of pools on those steamy summer nights. I was WAY to "square" to join in.

I did meet Mr. David Letterman! So much fun. I was pulled out of the Audience to play the Know Your Current Events Game. He was supposed to talk to 3 or 4 people from the crowd that night, but ended up poking fun (I prefer to think of it as flirting) at me for the majority of the time allotted for the segment. I left with some great great prizes. When I got back home to Ontario I had made the nightly news and the local papers. LOL

That last story, helping deceive my sisters family. Sadly true. My Mom can cook a killer Turkey yet somehow neither of her daughters were passed on this blessed skill. We sure do great take-out! To this day none of her in-laws know how she pulled off such a great Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanks for playing!

Can You Spot A Liar?

The super sweet Elizabeth over at Type A Mommy tagged me in this little mini meme!

The challenge, post two truths and one lie. Can you figure out which one is the lie?

1. I once got caught pool jumping. You don't know what that is? Canadian summers can be brutally hot. The fully awesome thing to do with your teenage friends is to strip down to your undies in a nice neighbourhood and go backyard to backyard..jumping fences..taking your life in your hands...and swim in every pool you can find.

2. I once had five minutes of fame on Late Night TV with David Letterman. Yep, he picked me out of the audience and poured lavish attention on just me. I flirted in return, Made hubby proud, and then Dave gave me a bunch of stuff. Local radio stations and newspapers covered my appearance.

3. I once helped my sister deceive 30 of her hubby's family members. It was her turn to cook Thanksgiving dinner. She didn't have a clue how to do this. I helped her pick up an entire dinner for 30 at the caterers, slide it into my casserole and onto my good china and re-heat the whole thing so she could pass it off as her own!


Hmmm, so which one is the lie? Take a guess..I'll do my big reveal next :)

Now I get to tag one lovely blogger to play along.

I'll tag Randi over at Beauty Be Good She always has some fab new finds to explore!

Simple Questions from Suburbia

Since I gave up the single life and settled down to become a hip suburban mama, I have found more then a few annoying questions for which I have no answer.
Is there no answer...or am I just that blond?!

Where DOES the other sock go?

Why DO men think it's OK to fart in the marital bed?

At what point do us young, vital women, start making that odd grunting groaning noise as we drag our behinds off the floor?

How is it that in a house with four people, two of which are adults, the wife seems to be the only one who has mastered the art of changing the roll on the toilet paper roll?

Why is it that men get better looking with age, and women just get old?

When did Kraft dinner with a side of wiener and an apple become a well balanced meal?

What did I do before kids?

When did the definition of an amazing evening change? I'd gladly pass up a night out at a bar in exchange for a quiet evening at home with Hubby, a bowl of popcorn and a rented flick.

At what point did I stop just grabbing clothes off the shelf in the store that were "my size" and taking them to the cashier? Now everything must be tried on.

When did finding a bikini that actually fits, or a pair of jeans that look fab become a true victory?

When did I start to get excited about a sale at the grocery store?

How did a quality carpool become something to envy?

What happened to my boobs?


Help!

Passive Agressive Letters ....with Love

Dear Sir
If you do not have a handicapped sticker, get out of that spot.

Dear Madame
Are you aware that there are 15 cars piled up behind you trying to drop their children off to school? See all those signs that say no parking...drop off and pick up only. They actually mean..wait for it..NO PARKING..DROP OFF AND PICK UP ONLY.

Dear Weather Man
If you are unsure of the weather. If you don't know what it's going to do? How about trying honesty for a change! I would for once in my life love to see a meteorologist just say. Yeah, I don' have a clue what it's going to be like tomorrow! Sorry!

Dear Express-Line Cheater
Okay deary, it clearly says 8 items or less. Do you think the cashier can't count? 15 items is just rude.

Dear Door to Door Sales Guy
Yes the "No Soliciting" sign means you too.

Dear Teenage Driver from Hell
My babies live on this street. Slow Down!

Dear Cable Guy
Thanks for the window appointment you gave me. Love that you were scheduled to arrive between 12 and 6pm. I enjoy waiting around for 6 hours per day. Sadly I don't find you getting here at 6:02pm to be funny or amusing.

Dear Pool Guy
My eyes are up here!


Lots of love
ModernMom

Bats and Beach Blankets

It was late into the evening. Snoring Hubby would not let up. I nudged him, rolled him over, shushed him, begged him. Nothing worked. That man was tired and snoring was on his agenda. I finally gave up, grabbed my pillow and trotted down the hall to the ever so quiet spare room. Blissful quiet, sigh. Night night.

I don't know how long I was asleep. An hour ..two? When I heard thwap thwap thwap thwap. I felt a small stirring of air near my face and ever so gently woke. There it was again....thwap thwap thwap.

Grabbed that pillow again and head back down the hall to the master bed. Why was I crawling in my wee PJ's? Yawn. So tired. Back into our marital bed.

"Honey" I whisper. "Can you go scare the bird out of the house?"
I think I woke us both up with those words. Bird.In.House. Huh?

Hubby is awake now. Sits up in bed and turns on our lovely chic new bedside lamp.

AHHHHHH. THAT IS NOT A BIRD, THAT THING IS A BAT!!!

I scream and dive under the covers! Cowering like a frightened child. Shaking. He just sits and watches that hideous brown bat circle our ceiling! It leaves the master bedroom and comes back, leaves and comes back.

"GET IT....GET IT" I yell.

He just sits.

Hubby Says "I don't know how? I play golf, that's with a club..I play hockey...that's with a stick, I play ball...with a bat. All the sports I play are with sticks. I need a racket or a net to get that thing."

He is so calm and controlled. I am FREAKING out. Have just realized that when the damn bat is not with us it could be flying into one of the girls rooms.

I drop to the floor, and commando crawl back down the dreaded hall to shut my babies doors. Must not let the vampire creature near my darling daughters. Doors are closed, end of my bravery, duck into the closet to hide like the true girly coward I am.

Hero Hubby has begun to take action

*Warning rest of post is not PETA friendly

Hubby is swinging at bat with an over sized beach towel. Trying to stun it so we can get it out of our home. He is grunting, groaning swinging for all he is worth. (It is not easy to stop a bat armed with nothing but your PJ's and a beach towel!) CRASH. There goes the new chic light. Finally he tells his oh so brave wife she can stop shaking and whimpering and come out of the closet and fetch him a shovel and pail to help remove one incapacitated bat. He has prevailed. The creature will bother us no more.
As I emerge from my hiding spot he yells
"What the F*&%#??? IT'S NOT DEAD!"
That bat got back up off my pristine beige carpet and started flying around AGAIN.

Hubby once again brandishes his weapon. The almighty beach towel. Smacks the chandelier a good one and then finally lays the bat to rest.

"Is it over?" I whimper.

"Yes" pants out of breath Hero Hubby, and then "Oh Crap..there is ANOTHER one!"

I will admit it, I'm not proud, but I was in tears by now.

Hubby battles Bat Number Two. He makes sure that sucker is dead..not just stunned.

We tossed a beach towel and two of God's creatures in a garbage pail that night.

Battle of the bat lasted more then an hour and a half. When we finally ventured back to our marital bed, we left the bathroom light on....the ceiling fan too. I lay there trying to sleep, hearing every noise, fearing every movement. It was a lost cause. There would be no more deep snoring in Suburbia that night.

Bats in our house became a harrowing life experience. One I wish never to repeat. One that will give me nightmares and cost me precious sleep. We shall never tell the children. Can you have Post Traumatic Stress from an incident with a bat? Maybe living in Suburbia has made us soft.

Good luck to any of you who ever have to do battle with a bat.

One Lovely Day

The sweet Elizabeth over at Type A Mommy nominated me for an award! Thanks! This one is so great because it introduces all of my newest friends to you! I love new comments, and love love new followers. Maybe you will find a new fave among this group of amazing bloggers!

The Rules:
1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.
2) Pass the award to 10 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Here are my award winners, in no particular order:
My Irish Twins
Today's Daisy
Mom in Chaos
The Johnson Diaries:Life on the Edge
My Journey in A Mixed Up World
Willowjak Boys
A Sense of Humor is Essential
The Adventures of Mommy Maestro
Relax and Enjoy all your Serene Moments!
Sassy Irish Lassie

Thanks again! Happy reading everyone :)

Almost Wordless Wednesday

 

The simplicity of Side Walk Chalk.
Is there a better way to spend an hour on a spring afternoon then creating a masterpiece with your children on the driveway? Every child should have crayons, and every child should have side walk chalk.
Giant works of art that Mother Nature cleans up for you.
I wonder how much longer my girls will want to sit in the warm sun and just colour with me? I'm thankful for today, I'll enjoy it while I can.

Mommy Cliques in Suburbia

Spring has sprung and all the Mommies have come out of hibernation. They are putting on their suburban Mom outfits and venturing out of their cars for after school pickups. It's time to say Hello to everyone, get caught up on those we have lost touch with over the cold dark winter. As I float from group to group of Mommies I have a revelation. I am smack in the middle of a jungle of cliques. The Mommies have divided!

Some of the way way post high school cliques I noticed this fine spring day:

Granola Bar Mommies
-health food eating, only organic, save the earth, never use a plastic bag, gave up my car and bike freakin everywhere!

Fashionista Mommies
-can only shop "Down Town", are perfectly made up, never chip a nail and wear ONLY designer clothes

Sporty Mommies
-teach their own aerobic classes, wear cute yoga pants and hoodies everywhere, have their own walking clubs and have a date set for their next marathon

The Super Gossips
-self explanatory

The Too Familiar with Other Moms Husbands Mommies
-sadly this group is growing. Gross. If he is married, Keep. Your. Hands. Off.

The Slutty Mom Cliques
-wears short shorts, enjoys skin tight jeans and bar shirts every day, thinks she is still 19, may have just had some huge stripper boobs put in, a small group very closely related to the Too Familiar with Other Moms Husbands clique.

The Never Gets Out of Her Car Mommies
-seriously-who are you? Mysterious dark sunglasses, tinted windows, drops off, picks up, no one has ever seen you, you never volunteer for a thing? We don't bite!

The Uber Volunteer Mommies
-have their hands in everything, the ultimate kiss a**, driving the teachers nuts, always at the school.

The I'm Better Then You Mommies
-nose turned up, opinionated but not helpful, pushy, often leads to play dates from hell, always has a job more important then you.
-as a bonus, clearly has a child smarter, prettier, more talented then yours.

The Live Only For My Kids Mommies
-live and die by the kids schedule, come and sit in the car and watch the kids at recess to make sure they are Okay, take them home for every lunch, never do anything for themselves!
(Okay so that is just one Mommy I know of, but thought she deserved a mention!)

The Executive Mommies
-the lawyers, doctors, V.P.'s, head researchers ...the suits

The Give You the Shirt Off their Backs Mommies
-these women would give you anything you need, help you any way they can, stuck for a sitter? sick kid? need a car pool? an ear? lovable, squishy, big hearted Mommies

This list just begins to scratch the surface of the Mommy cliques. There are probably as many different cliques as there are people. I'd like to think I don't fit into any of them. I'm happy to just keep floating around, enjoying the friendships from some of the best women I have ever met. There really are some very nice Mommies here is Suburbia.

Before I Was A Mom

I slept until noon
Read books at leisure
Went out for dinner
Attacked my career as if that was all there was
Travelled on a whim
Shopped without a care
Drove a car with only 2 seats
Met the girls regularly for dinner and wine
Had a clean house
Had clean hair....every single day
Took long drives with no destination in mind
Ate hot meals
Didn't share my snacks
Enjoyed the quiet.

Now that I am a Mom
Sleeping in is a thing of the past
I sneak into the bathroom to get that chapter finished
Dinner out is take-out or McDonalds
I gave up the career I love
Travelling requires spreadsheets and weeks of packing and organizing
I drive a vehicle with 7 seats
I meet the girls for play dates and coffee. Wine and dinner is for the big events
My house has that lived in quality
My hair is clean...most days
Drives have purpose and come with an arsenal of snacks and juice boxes
My dinners are coolish
Snacks are for four
Quiet happens after 8pm


Now that I am a Mom
I know the joy only a babies first smile can bring.
I understand the primal need to protect ones young.
I have experienced the sweet agony of nursing a sick baby through the night.
I have felt the fierce pride of a child's first words, first steps, first accomplishments.
I know what it meant to have your heart walking around outside your body.
I have silently wept for their pain.
I strive to be a better daughter.
I am more thankful for my relationship with my Husband then ever before.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't know how much work it was to be a Mother. Work of the best kind, work I love and am thankful for every day.

I wouldn't change a thing.

Willpower

What is it that gives us that willpower that we so desperately need?
Whether it is to keep out of the cookie jar, force ourselves out of bed at an ungodly hour to help our babes, hit the treadmill or just clean the house that has spun out of control. What gives us that inner drive, what deters us from unhealthy temptation, keeps us going?
Do we stay out of cookies so we can fit back into the favorite jeans? Is it true that nothing tastes as good as thin feels? (That's what I keep telling myself!)
Is it as simple as that? Pure vanity insanity that provides willpower?
Is it undying primal love that can motivate us out of bed with a raging headache and 4 hours sleep. Must be there for the kids. If that is true, why are some of us able to do it and not others? Must come down to willpower!
Cleaning the house. Ug. The only good reason to do that is to create a safe, loving, healthy, warm environment for my family. Ok Maybe that is good reason.

Maybe willpower is not so much a choice as it is a gift. Isn't it harder to exercise willpower when you are stressed? When the bills are piling up? When the baby is sick? When you are having an "ugly" day? When your kids are sad..or you are? It is easier to control, to be strong when all the stars are aligned, when everything seems to be going right.

I thank God every day for my family. I believe they are the main reason I have willpower. It comes down to love. I was raised by two strong loving parents. I have an incredible husband who supports me in every way. I am blessed with two spirited and beautiful girls who force me to get up with a smile. I count my blessings. I count myself as one of the lucky ones.

My blessings have helped to set me in the right direction. They have given me a more positive outlook on life. I am learning to love myself. Until you can do that, you can't possibly have any willpower. I am not strong 100% of the time, but the love from my family and for them does make it easier for me to exercise my gift of willpower.
Today I can brag that I am loved, and I have willpower.
So I am intrigued, what gives you willpower?

Herbal Essences IS Hydralicious!

 

A package for me? And it's not COD?
About a month ago I filled out a little survey about my shampoo purchasing habits. I'll admit this much. I usually reserve the salon brand shampoo for myself. Hubby, SweetGirl and BlueEyes? Their shampoo gets switched around to what ever mid-priced shampoo happens to catch my fancy.
I must have filled out this survey correctly, because the lovely people at Herbal Essence sent me a beautiful package of shampoo and conditioners. Also included was a little letter asking me to please try their product and pass along some coupons for free shampoo to my friends!

Done and done.

Here is a little review from Suburbia:

There are three new Shampoos and Conditioners from Herbal Essences in the "Hydralicious Line"

Pink-is the Self Targeting line-a light airy scent that reminds me of many other shampoos out there. Did help to mange those fly aways.
Purple-is the Reconditioning Line-Smells similar to a top quality salon hair product, eliminates that frizz many of us have from over processed, perhaps over straightened or treated hair. I highlight my hair (at a fancy shmancy salon) and can honestly say my hair thanked me for trying the Reconditioning Shampoo and Conditioner. This one is my personal favorite.
Orange-Featherweight Line-a faint citrus scent that both of my girls and my Hubby love. This one seemed to work very well on my youngest who has very fine hair, added some bounce to her little blonde waves. Oldest daughter has hair as thick as a horse. This shampoo and conditioner had no problem cleaning her hair to a glossy sweet smelling shine! A bonus, the matching conditioner left both girls hair feeling healthy and tangle free.

Generally thoughts on the entire line:
*The packaging is eye catching and easy to spot in the store
*Smells terrific
*Detangled BlueEyes incredibly thick hair
*Rinsed clean
*Reasonably priced! I checked. I comparison shopped at drug stores and grocery stores. This brand is often on sale and even when it isn't it is still a great deal.

I can't believe I did not have this product in my regular rotation before. I can honestly say Herbal Essences Hydralicious will be the brand of Shampoo and Conditioner that will be in our family bathroom from now on.
If you are going to survive life in the suburbs, it helps to have great hair!

Toxic Clog

What not to do when your sink explodes!

*Think that one measly bottle of Liquid Plumber is going to fix what is clearly a king size clog.

*Attempt to "help" the Liquid Plumber with the plunger. MMM Vile Back splash.

*Ask Hubby to bring home Industrial Strength Drano from work.

*Supervise as Hubby adds Industrial Strength Drano to science project that used to be your kitchen sink.

*Gather the kids and run like hell when the serene "That means it's working." bubbling turns into a fog filled cloud of toxic waste.

*Keep said children occupied outside as you test your lung capacity and hold your breath as long as possible while cranking open every window in the house.

*Panic as Hubby asks you to run water in bathroom because that tingling feeling on his arm is beginning to escalate into an uncomfortable burning sensation.

*Get the man some gloves.

*And a bucket.

*Let the hero drain the pipes himself. Take the kids out. One of you must survive to raise the children!

*Come home hours later to find a Coughing Hubby, clogged sink, oh and a cracked pipe.

*Call the bloody plumber like you should have in the first place.

Sometimes They Fall

 

Life is hard. No one ever tells you that.
Marriage is work. No one lets you in on that little secret either.
Child Birth hurts. Not a secret, but for some reason it's glossed over pretty well.
Here is another little tidbit. When you are trying to help your babies navigate this crazy world, sometimes they fall.
It might be just a scraped knee from a slip off their bike, or perhaps their heart is breaking because their best friend is moving away. Either way, it hurts.
I'm grateful that I'm the one they run to.
That while they are young, I can still help to fix things.
Sometimes Mom's kiss makes the pain go away and my arms still hold some magic.
I know this won't always be true.
Life is hard, and sometimes they fall.
I plan to do my best to make sure they always get back up again.

Apparently I'm Awe-Summ

A great big thank you to two beautiful bloggers! I must be awe-summm because I have been declared the Queen of All Things Awe-Summ not once, but twice!
Virtual hugs to:
Swoozie over at Mommy Kingdom
and
The ever entertaining Stacie's Madness - yes this does make you a better suburb friend. I can feel the love.

So here are the awe-summm rules:

1.List seven things that make you awe-summm.
2.Pass the award on to seven bloggers you love.
3.Tag those bloggers to let them know that they are now Queens of All Things Awe-Summm.
4.Don't forget to link to the queen that tagged you.
5.If you would like, copy the pic and put it on your sidebar so everyone knows that you're a queen.

What are seven things that make me awe-summm? This is much harder then listing 7 things that I suck at!

1. I am Queen of the multi-task. I have no problem getting 2 or 3 things done at once. In fact I sometimes wonder if I work better under pressure.

2. I am awe-summ at list making. I choose to believe this is a good thing. Helps to keep me organized. List of things to do. Little projects, big projects, dream lists. It's all written down. Maybe that's why I've enjoyed my jump into blogging. I get to put all my random thoughts in writing!

3. I'm an awe-summ baker. Cookies, muffins, cakes with butter cream icing. My kids thank me, my thighs do not.

4. I'm an awe-summ daughter. I try and do right by my parents. They know I will always be there for them. I'm the daughter who is always on time, remembers birthdays and anniversaries, takes my turn at Christmas and Easter. They know I'll be the one to look after them as they get older.

5. I think I'm a pretty awe-summ Mom. I gave up a career I absolutely loved so I could stay at home with my kids. I'm trying to make the most out of their childhood. Give them memories that will last a lifetime, make sure they know we are proud parents and set them on the right path.

6. I am an awe-summ friend. You need me I'm there. Secrets, I keep them. I keep my friends and family close to my heart and protect them fiercely.

7. I am an awe-summ dreamer. Is that a quality? I am trying to be a positive, hopeful and joyous person. I am cherishing the time with my kids and my hubby. I dream that we continue to be a happy, healthy family, and Hubs and I are already looking forward to our winters away and our weekends looking after our Grand Kids.

Few..that was exhausting!

Now I have the honour of passing on my crown to 7 other beauties. Forgive me if you've already been given this bejeweled award! Here are 7 of the many bloggers I have truly enjoyed reading. Go check them out!

1. Jennifer at It's A Beauty Filled Life. You will love her honesty!

2. JAM at JAM's Own Reality Always quick with the funnies!

3. La Mom at La Mom-an American Mom in Paris She has all the insider scoop on that gorgeous city!

4. lunarossa at Living Abroad Fab pictures and posts about her home, her life her travels!

5. Suzanne at Shabby Chics Anything but Shabby! I always look forward to her posts!

6. Karen at The Rocking Pony I've just starting following Karen recently and hope she doesn't mind I've tagged her!

7. Julie at 47 and Starting Over Want honesty or need a good hard laugh. Julie is your blogger.