Why can't the garbage man come on the same day every week? My garage would be a whole lot nicer to park in, the neighbourhood would smell better. On the flip side, it would be a lot less entertaining for the collectors who clearly get their chuckles from women in pajamas running like crazy people with trash cans to the curbs.
Why can't I remember my new Dyson vacuum cleaner has a suck power of 10. My curtain rods can't take many more "I sucked up the curtains" incidents. Besides, children shouldn't hear those words coming from a Mamas mouth.
Why is it every time I am vacuuming I think I hear the phone ringing? Is there something wrong with me?
Why is it every time I declare a PJ day the delivery dude shows up!
Why is it when my house get to that special state of..."Eeek I have to clean this place up!" Friends decide to do the drop in.
Why is my kitchen counter such a crap magnet?
Why can't an extra 5lbs around the middle be a sign of prosperity, a life well led? Why can't it be hot?
Why have they not invented a travelling Starbucks truck..it could trail right behind the ice cream man!
I must accept that there are some things I shall never know.
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67 comments:
Such an entertaining post, I hear you on the why does company show up when the house is in chaos but stay miles away after I've tidied up?
As far as the trash collection, I have about 30 sopping wet paper leaf bags out in my driveway waiting for the Fall clean up crew who are never on time. As always, I can count on at least half of the bags splitting open and spilling their messy contents all over the driveway for me to clean up and get ready for the next compost day!
So funny! I'm with you on the "thinking the phone is ringing whilst vacuuming" and your Starbucks Van idea is inspired x
You are hilarious! I think that there is some kind of gravitational law of the universe that makes crap magnetically stick to counters. If I ever figure out how to reverse the polarity I'll let you know, lol!
Not having a designated garbage day would drive me nuts! Whats up with that?
PS - every day is pajama day for me!
Those were great! I had quite a chuckle! Same questions plague me, as well. Ha!
I would have to agree with almost all of these. The day Victoria Secret Models decide they want to sport the extra 5 or 6 lbs around the mid-section during the fashion show, I will sing a happy song!
And we should contact Starbucks about that traveling truck...or atleast about home delivery. Wouldn't that be fabulous?! Great post!
You only have 5 pounds around your middle? Praise the heavens!
The phone does ring every time I vacuum and it's always my husband and he's irritated because I didn't answer the phone. Jerk.
Why wouldn't the trash pickup be on the same day?
That pesky 5 pounds in the middle, I'd like mine in the boobies and my butt instead. The genetics determine where it all goes, not what we want, it's a shame isn't it!
A Starbucks truck - brilliant! I can just see me now gathering up my quarters and chasing after it like I did with the ice cream truck as a kid! :D
crap magnet yep! and then the crap naturally atracts more crap. Experiment: day 1 - leave 1 pencil on the counter, see how many are there by day 5 - trust me - it's a guaranteed increase
ha ha, this is funny!
i always hear the phone ringing when i vacuum, i hate that!
Thy Mystery of the Trash Pick Up!
The Powers that be have decided that we would save tax payers money if trash pick up was only every 6 business days. Therefore it is Monday the first week, Tuesday the second week and so on. Once you start to get a handle on the schedule some Civic or Religious Holiday comes along and throws a monkey wrench into the whole thing!
I think City Hall is laughing at us all!
Great! Your onto something with that Starbucks van and don't worry your not alone i'm forever hearing the imaginary phone rings mid hoovering and it's sooo annoying.
Best post ever, haha. I loved it. And just so you know, I haer the phone every time I vacuum, too!
Ditto, Ditto , Ditto.
And yes the only time the door bell rings is when the house looks like a nuclear bomb test sight.
"Why can't an extra 5lbs around the middle be a sign of prosperity, a life well led? Why can't it be hot?"
can we just put a 2 infront of that 5 and I'm good :)
Lovin your blog! I have a award for you at:
http://twolittlemonkeysplushubby.blogspot.com/2009/11/thank-you-new-award.html
Too funny! I'd kill for a Starbucks truck and a clean kitchen counter!!!!
Gotta love the suckage of a Dyson! WOOT WOOT
Great & I agree I want the Starbucks van to come by work right now!!
Yes! I swear I hear the phone ringing while I'm vacuuming. Same goes for when I'm in the shower.
I think you describe most of us. Except for the trash days which are regular for us, the others have happened all too often. Don't feel so all alone in this.
This is so true in my house. We have trash day on the same day but recycle happens every other week. I hope you have a great week.
Those are very valid questions.
So you want to approach Starbucks
and get a business going? I like that idea.
So funny. I have only been in suburbia a year and me an several of the moms I have meet think we should start a starbucks delivery service, it would make staying at home with babies so much more tolerable!
Instead of phones ringing, I hear babies crying.
The Dyson has power not to be played with. :)
Crap magnet? I love this term, so perfect!!
And NO one EVER comes over when the HOUSE is CLEAN!!! NEvEr!!!
I would love a starbuck's truck!!
LOL I loved reading this post! I am a new follower and I am loving reading what you have to write!
I love reading your blog every day!!
The delivery guy always shows up when I am in my PJ's.
My kitchen counters are full of crap as well. It is the dumping ground for everything.
Ohhh, traveling Starbucks truck! You are on to something!
OK, Suz, give it up! Your house is clean 24/7!!!
I can't believe your garbage isn't picked up on the same day every week. That's just odd to me. I'm lucky enough to have my pickup day on Monday, which means all that 'weekend' trash gets hauled away asap. It's especially great after a party or good garage/basement cleaning! :)
Oh man, I would LOVE it if these extra 5 on my tummy were HOT!! That would be awesome!
I hear the vacuum too! Weird!! ;-)
It would take away some of the adventure if life were perfect, c'mon!
OK I'm lying.
give me the universal truths, dammit!
Oh gosh! Glad i am not the only one who thinks phone is ringing while vacuuming:)
"Why can't an extra 5lbs around the middle be a sign of prosperity, a life well led? Why can't it be hot?"
We just need the world of Rubenesque art to come back and we'll be hot as hell.
There must be something in the Dyson mechanism that sounds like the telephone. I do that all the time, too.
And the Starbucks delivery truck totally needs to be invented.
ahah love your blog ;) I would love the starbucks truck then we could run out the house screaming "Starrrrrbucksss truuuuk!"
You should pitch the Starbucks idea to their CEO - I would totally go for that.
Lol. "women in pajamas running like crazy people with trash cans to the curbs"
I thought i was the only person who imagines they hear the phone ringing while vacuuming!!
Oh man, that 6-business-day garbage schedule is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. I think I'd start throwing my trash in the dumpster behind Target or something once a week.
OK, i haven't vacuumed for YEARS....maybe 20 years! But that ringing sound? I remember it well. Damned phone. Every time. :)))
Hello, Have a nice day. You have a nice blog. Radka.
Oooh traveling Starbucks. Now that is one awesome idea!
I never get visitors, phew! Because usually I am naked.
Very typical isn't it! I think it's called sod's law.
CJ xx
Hey, ringing of phone really happens with me too... :)
I would add one more.... I don't know why, when I go to fill the fuel for my vehicle, the queue I usually leave by waiting at fuel station, becomes faster when I join another one :(.
Btw, Thanks for stopping by my blog.
I do like the way you think! And I always hear things when I vacuum. That's why I don't do it very often. It must be bad for me:)
Thanks so much for stopping by! I love comments.
I can so relate. I've run out with the recycle bins too with a robe hanging from under my coat.
And what is it about the imaginary phone ringing! :)
Never, ever question these things! ;)
i just can't get past the fact that the garbage man doesn't come on the same day every week
i'd kill myself
maybe not, but i'd prob do something pretty bad
I want the Starbucks truck to be real. If I think really hard will it be so?
I just stopped vacuuming so my phone wouldn't ring anymore.
Sigh.
So, it sounds like I'm not the only one with a pile of stuff on the kitchen counter? ~Natalie
Too funny, and yet comforting to see I'm not the only one with a counter that's a crap magnet and I do too, hear the phone rigning while vaccuuming and often when I'm in the shower... strange!
Oh wow, I could almost match your list, particularly this:
Why is it every time I am vacuuming I think I hear the phone ringing? Is there something wrong with me?
Uncanny. And I bet you stop your hoovering every minute or so and stand still, listening. *L*
Haha! All so true.
I'm so glad I found your blog. I am actually a Canadian living in the United States and could totally tell you were Canadian when I saw you use the word "University"!
Looking forward to reading more.
Sarah
Oh wow!! You are great! I'll have to thank Matty for sending me your way!
Why did it take me so long to find your blog? I've had a good time looking over your most recent posts.
Thanks for stopping by The Jason Show!
Oh I love these! So funny!
***Ally
I am going to agree!! Very entertaining post...your soo funny also...your page makes me smile!
I've opened the door to the delivery man in my pj's before. I'm sure it's not the first time he's seen someone come to the door in pj's. :)
Ooooo a traveling Starbucks truck...life would be sooo good! I suck everything up with my Dyson! I have gotten very good a t taking it apart.
Ooooo a traveling Starbucks truck...life would be sooo good! I suck everything up with my Dyson! I have gotten very good a t taking it apart.
You and me both, sister. You and me both... ;-)
Hello Lady!
lol, I hear the phone ringing when I have the vac on too! :)
xoxoxox
I so agree with the traveling Starbucks Truck. Personally I would like a coffee place that delivers. Like ordering pizza
LOVED this post! And clearly, everybody else did, too! Haha! :) Oh and I so totally totally agree with so many of these 'whys'!!
You always crack me up. I guess this is one good thing about having a ring and drop delivery guy
I added you to the Sunday Funnies list:
http://tinyurl.com/yb5vqku
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