Things I have muttered to myself today
....because I have convinced myself talking while alone is a sign of intelligence and cause well, if I don't call myself hot, who will?
Nooooo. How can it be time to get up already? Just one more time with the snooze button.
I'd like to meet the guy who invented the bathroom scale and give him a piece of my mind.
Are you kidding me? Why is it every time I sit down, the toilet paper roll is empty?
$#!^ -Yep-That shower is frigid!
If I could figure out how leg hair grows so fast, transplant it and then sell it to bald guys I would be a millionaire.
Ahhhh A spider. A SPIDER. A SPIDER. Get out of My SHOWER!!
What kind of a freak grows one stray hair out of their neck?
Sigh. Seriously. A closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.
Dog is barking. Hello, dog is barking. Can no one in this house hear the dog??
What the ?? What did I just step in? Warm and gooey and stuck to your sock is never good. Apparently no body did hear that poor dog.
Nooooo. How can it be time to get up already? Just one more time with the snooze button.
I'd like to meet the guy who invented the bathroom scale and give him a piece of my mind.
Are you kidding me? Why is it every time I sit down, the toilet paper roll is empty?
$#!^ -Yep-That shower is frigid!
If I could figure out how leg hair grows so fast, transplant it and then sell it to bald guys I would be a millionaire.
Ahhhh A spider. A SPIDER. A SPIDER. Get out of My SHOWER!!
What kind of a freak grows one stray hair out of their neck?
Sigh. Seriously. A closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.
Dog is barking. Hello, dog is barking. Can no one in this house hear the dog??
What the ?? What did I just step in? Warm and gooey and stuck to your sock is never good. Apparently no body did hear that poor dog.
Gag. Gag (K I didn't mutter that, but I did make that sound)
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Just a half muffin more.
40 is the new 30. Just wear all monochromatic colours and you CAN pull it off.
Laugh lines are hot.
Just 6 more hours until bedtime.
40 is the new 30. Just wear all monochromatic colours and you CAN pull it off.
Laugh lines are hot.
Just 6 more hours until bedtime.
Just Breath.
This Mama may be muttering, but it's working for me!
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37 comments:
I LOL'd at the toilet paper roll, I mutter about that on a daily basis!
So funny, thank you for making me laugh. Love the leg hair idea! Oh yes I have seen those single long hairs. I remember when Rosie put a bead on hers! Dog poop, OMG and I have never been able to understand the TP roll empty when everyone in the house is an adult!
Ah so I am not alone in random self mutterings and a family who are deaf to doggy barks.
I can so relate to "A closet full of clothes and nothing to wear." Heh.
So funny. I mutter all the time...never thought to write it down. Some of my words are a bit too 'colorful'!!!
If 40 is the new 30, will it continue like that until we're 80?
"Just breath" ha ha ha!
Yay! Someone ELSE has long gray hairs growing out of strange places on their bodies! yes!
Dude I talk to myself out loud just to silence all the other voices in my head.
Hey! I am eating cookies for breakfast today! And, 50 is the new 30 BTW, so in that case, you need to be wearing skinny jeans and leg warmers...I wear the leg warmers on my arms, takes attention away from the skinny jeans...
Can nobody hear the dog? Hilarious, and so true.
Laugh lines ARE sexy.
Loved this, thanks for the laugh sweetie. xo d
If you get the hair going let me know I am in. Yeah my shower is cold also.
I am laughing!! You sound me EVERY DAY!!
I LOVE the muttering about how hot you are--thanks for the smile on that one alone!
I once kindly grabbed a hair sticking out of a woman's turtleneck, saying, "You have a hair on your...." only to find it attached! EWWWW and OHHHH how embarassing!
Your mutterings would make excellent Friday Fragments-Don't be afraid to join up this week :)
Ha ha! You are so funny!
That stinks that the water was cold AND there was a spider in the shower. It stinks even more that no one heard the dog and YOU were the one to step in his poo. That's my luck too!
I hope the rest of your day gets better! :)
Ha! I'm the freak who grows one stray hair out of her neck. discovered it when i was 20 and it just keeps coming back. so gross.
I relate to the it all, especially no one hearing the dog and the closet of clothes with nothing to wear.
Oh, i mutter too mama, I mutter too~ You are a hoot~
"Are you kidding me? Why is it every time I sit down, the toilet paper roll is empty?"
Story of my life!!!
What is with those spiders in the shower? I don't have glasses on yet and they freak me out when I'm not sure one is there so I have to look really closely and then they wiggle those legs at me and I nearly fall over on the wet surface.
TMI?
Hey, a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do to keep sane! Keep muttering.
It's Sunday night. Ready to start it all over tomorrow.
You can do it! Me too.
Actually, when my kids get on that school bus, I get a bust of energy. Take care. :)
Ha! "Laugh line are hot!"
I wish :-)
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Have a great week.
xo
Okay, so I will admit it! NOTHING is worse than stepping on the damn scale to have it break. Let Mr. Scale man know how I feel about THAT when you talk to him!
"If I could figure out how leg hair grows so fast, transplant it and then sell it to bald guys I would be a millionaire." I wish I could do this....I know someone who needs it!
Again, laughing at and connecting with this post. LOL!
Holly
Glad to know I'm not along in self mutterings either!!
I'm soooo with you on the closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.
Hahaha...great post...
I have some awards for you:)
ha - my kids always ask me - who are you talking to momma?
that leg hair idea... TOTALLY BRILLIANT!!!!!
You must live in my house - I always find the toilet paper roll empty - argh!
Sigh. Seriously. A closet full of clothes and nothing to wear..........every woman's nightmare
Don't get me started on the toilet paper roll thing. The answer is YES we are apparently the ONLY ones capable of replacing the TP.
You mean everyone doesn't think laugh lines are hot?
Oh gah, I have been living a lie...
Talk to yourself is a sign of above average intelligence, I am sure of it.
Just gave you an award on my blog...Hope another award makes you feel better!! :)
If talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence then I am a FREAKIN' genius! LOL
love it -- you definitely cause laughter!
I blame the kids that I now talk out loud all the time. Micah, to be specific. I was told that the more speech he hears, the quicker he'll learn to talk. Six years later I'm still waiting for speech from him, but I'm firmly entrenched in my think-it-say-it habit.
LOL laugh lines are hot!!!
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