Our car came with something special.
A built in invisible friend.
This wee friend advises me when my car is low on gas and where the nearest service station is.
She points out the nearest Hospitals and clinics..helping me to embrace my inner hypochondriac. She makes me feel all safe and cozy like.
She answers the phone for me. I just have to press a little button on the dash that says accept or ignore. Doesn't matter how loud the music is, she turns the music off for a moment to see if I want to take the call.
My little invisible friend even learns my favorite songs on the radio and lets me know when they are playing on another station!!
Quite possibly my favorite thing about the voice that pops out of my speakers is that she knows how to get me places. Ahhh yes, she is the Queen of Directions. How I love and depend on her built in Global Positioning System. Perhaps depend and GPS should not be allowed in the same sentence. This is where I get in to trouble.
If my invisible friend tells me I must go straight, even if my brain is screaming "TURN, TURN Right you idiot" I defer to the GPS. My invisible friend couldn't be WRONG!
If my invisible friend tells me to take Lake Shore in 300 metres but I really think I should continue on to Lake View, who do I listen to? Well the sweet calm voice of my invisible friend of course. She has steered me the long way around a few times but I always get to my destination.
Until...
I asked my little friend how to find a remote cottage for my girls weekend.
I programed in the address and she answered "Route Complete".
No problem baby, thanks to technology I can do anything. Time to kick back and enjoy the drive.
1 1/2 hours into my drive my dear sweet invisible friend announced.
"You have entered an unmapped area. Please refer to your road map for the completion of your journey"
WHAT??
I am in Bumble %#&*
I do not have a map. I have you!
"Drive Safely. Goodbye" She said.
Oh no, don't leave me! Re-compute. Re-calculate! Come Back!!
"I'm sorry. This area is not currently mapped. Please refer to your map"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Now what. Okay. Cell Phone.
doot do do do doo do doot
No Service.
CRAP on a STICK!
Great, now I have to try and use this pretty little head of mind. Ha.
I was a mere 5 minutes from my girlfriends cottage and yet had to ask three different groups of people for directions before I finally arrived, red faced, at my destination.
It is official. GPS is making me stupid.
A built in invisible friend.
This wee friend advises me when my car is low on gas and where the nearest service station is.
She points out the nearest Hospitals and clinics..helping me to embrace my inner hypochondriac. She makes me feel all safe and cozy like.
She answers the phone for me. I just have to press a little button on the dash that says accept or ignore. Doesn't matter how loud the music is, she turns the music off for a moment to see if I want to take the call.
My little invisible friend even learns my favorite songs on the radio and lets me know when they are playing on another station!!
Quite possibly my favorite thing about the voice that pops out of my speakers is that she knows how to get me places. Ahhh yes, she is the Queen of Directions. How I love and depend on her built in Global Positioning System. Perhaps depend and GPS should not be allowed in the same sentence. This is where I get in to trouble.
If my invisible friend tells me I must go straight, even if my brain is screaming "TURN, TURN Right you idiot" I defer to the GPS. My invisible friend couldn't be WRONG!
If my invisible friend tells me to take Lake Shore in 300 metres but I really think I should continue on to Lake View, who do I listen to? Well the sweet calm voice of my invisible friend of course. She has steered me the long way around a few times but I always get to my destination.
Until...
I asked my little friend how to find a remote cottage for my girls weekend.
I programed in the address and she answered "Route Complete".
No problem baby, thanks to technology I can do anything. Time to kick back and enjoy the drive.
1 1/2 hours into my drive my dear sweet invisible friend announced.
"You have entered an unmapped area. Please refer to your road map for the completion of your journey"
WHAT??
I am in Bumble %#&*
I do not have a map. I have you!
"Drive Safely. Goodbye" She said.
Oh no, don't leave me! Re-compute. Re-calculate! Come Back!!
"I'm sorry. This area is not currently mapped. Please refer to your map"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Now what. Okay. Cell Phone.
doot do do do doo do doot
No Service.
CRAP on a STICK!
Great, now I have to try and use this pretty little head of mind. Ha.
I was a mere 5 minutes from my girlfriends cottage and yet had to ask three different groups of people for directions before I finally arrived, red faced, at my destination.
It is official. GPS is making me stupid.
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39 comments:
Haha! I need one of these little friends in my car! I am absolutely hopeless with directions too - I will literally get lost wherever I'm going if it's somewhere new.
Ugh, I don't think I could handle that little voice all the time. The one seatbelted in the backseat is enough.
oh this story is hilarious! I must say your little invisible friend sounds awesome... until you get into unmarked territory but still!
LOL - I would have been in your same shoes. Who carries a map anymore? I'm not sure I could still read one at this point.
Are you my mom? :) I always tease her that her GPS/Onstar is making her soft.
I can relate to having to ask people multiple times about where I'm going. It's like they all just KNOW, with no maps. It's a mystery.
Of course, the Chinese educational system encourages memorization. I guess that extends to bus routes and street locations, too.
Hope you had a great time at your off-the-map cabin!
AHAH! This made me smile so much. I have to say though, despite your imaginary friend leaving you when you needed her most I'm really impressed with the amount of things she can do!
I'm obviously very out dated because I had no clue they could do all that!
Hilarious post. :)
There used to be a great auto insurance ad in which the driver just followed the directions of his GPS. He was cruising along and turned right per his GPS guidance into a storefront window.
It was hysterical.
I old school things and use MapQuest.
lol that sounds every bit like something i would do. try getting gps on your cell. that map EVERYTHING and update themselves so you don't have to do it.
That's funny. GPS systems annoy me, so I can imagine how frustruating it woul dbe if they didn't even get you all the way to your destination.
Oh that was too funny. I loved it. Yea I would say I need one of those little friends. Sometimes you want to get lost lol
OMG, funny. We had a wee bit of a discussion regarding the good ol' GPS while on vacation. Hubs loves her, I do not. For this reason.
LOL...we have GPS in our cars too...and have gotten to a few places that are unmapped. Thats why I have a handy Atlas in the trunk. Borrow it? :)
Hell, it's making my patients stupid too. They come in and argue with me that my office isn't where the GPS says it's supposed to be.
Like it's MY fault!
Cute post!! I hate GPS w/a passion, don't own one and I can read a map, thank you very much!! I don't like to be told what to do and the voice is so annoying!!!
Ha! I just knew there was a good reason to avoid GPS and other gizmos...I#'ll stick to my map.
Glad you liked the camping story - it was actually really good (and I was always the one who swore she would never EVER go camping!)
rofl! Does it say left and right? Because I don't do the whole East West thing.
"Drive safely, goodbye"?! Crap, is that what they really do? I'm still in the dark ages of no GPS. I recently asked my husband if they still taught map-reading skills to kids in school these days...I hope they do!
I'm sure it wasn't fun while it was happening, but you sure cracked me up with your storytelling.
well you know my opinion of GPS - http://kelloggsville.blogspot.com/2009/07/satnavitus.html
It drains brains!
But I love the idea of the onboard computer seeking out my favourite songs.
Cool post - made me laugh out loud x
Yep. my iphone has done the same thing. I don't even bother to look for directions, because I figure that will save me. Then? No service, or it freezes up.
its a total love-hate relationship with me... lol!
I agree, that is crap on a stick. ;)
Glad you finally made it there. I agree, we rely on technology a bit too much...ME especially.
I have never used GPS because my car is old and crappy!
However my cousin did and said the voice gets a bit stroppy if you dont follow the directions!
Where were you driving? No signal for the phone????
Eek!
Pleased you eventually got there though.
RMxx
"Crap on a stick" - i love that expression. I too have no sense of direction, now maybe if i dye my hair brown i might be able to read a map?
I need one of those for life.
Though like yours, the bitch would possibly abandon me at the crucial moment....
:)
No GPS for me, thank you very much! I always look up a place I've never been to before, print the map and I'm on way.
My cell and GPS also went out down in ohio's valley to drop off my kid to band camp. The band director picked it on purpose because the kids would not be able to call back home or text while they were there!!
Well, at least you got there in the end. Don't fret if you had to ask three different times for directions! Lots of people have to do that! I mean, some of the directions you get may be wrong!!!
I am a mess when it comes to directions, too. Geography wasn't one of my best subjects.
I have never had that happen...but I would so freak out if it did :)
I've come out of cowering in a corner after reading this post. I just don't know what I'd do without my "friend".. we call her Susie Ahbats (like bats, you know crazy, not that I am or anything, at least not clinically that I know of or would share with the blogosphere or my husband, though I think he might suspect). She got me safely through the crazy roads in Italy. Helps me steer clear of getting lost in DC. One never wants to get lost there without a guard dog, a tazer and a lobbyist. The mere thought that she'd one day leave me to a map considering I couldn't find my way out of a paper sack with out her. SHUDDER!
Hey Martha from A Sense of Humor is Essential gave you some props at MY BLOG today!
stop by (Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom)
I'd have to sell the car...... or shoot out the GPS...... didn't the computer chip realize that maps are not our friends????
if I have to consult a map ( which I don't own in the first place....) Than why would I need you, GPS???? ( I also don't own a license or a car...)
You made me laugh till tears ran down my face, by the way.... but I wasn't laughing about your predicament.... that would be wrong.....
I'm gonna go french kiss Mr. Taxi driver man, now.....
I don't have a GPS, and if I did I think I'd end up smashing in the dashboard.
i had to take my GPS out because i was becoming too dependent. my hubby was afraid I'd forget how to drive with out t ;)
I do not doubt that it would do me the same way. Plus, if it disagreed with me, I would try to kill it:)
I have had my GPS steer me wrong more than once. Mapquest also is wrong sometimes. I think a good old fashioned map is probably a good thing to keep in your car...just in case!
LMAO someone else who feels my pain. My GPS is built into my car as well and I swear sometimes she's a pain!!!!!!
That's hilarious! My boyfriend has a Garmin (a GPS, not built-in to the car) and I absolutely adore it! It's never let us down, even when we traveled to Michigan's UP. Which was pretty much all dirt roads and trees.
Thanks for checking out my blog! :) Nice blog over here too!
That's great! I depend on my GPS so much that after living in Portland for a year, I cannot remember how to get to the airport from my apartment. And it's not far. Or complicated. I just don't pay attention. Sheesh.
ha! Got to love technology! Too funny. I am glad you made it. You would think it would tell you that it was unmarked territory BEFORE you got there.
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