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I'm often amazed and confused by the bizarre happenings behind the closed and competitive doors of the typical suburban home. The following is a place to share my thoughts and reflections on daily life as I try to navigate this crazy and wonderful world.






Thursday, July 16, 2009

Is It Just Me?

I took my darling daughters to swimming lessons this morning. As we entered the change room there stood an approximately 11 year old girl standing beside the hand dryer. She was completely naked with the exception of her bright pink flip flops. She had this hand dryer turned up and on pointed at her head, brush in hand, casually brushing and drying her shoulder length blonde hair. She methodically brushed her hair and watched all the other Moms and daughters come in and out of the change rooms. All those other little girls used the curtained changing areas, clearly provided for privacy. I averted my eyes.

Blonde girls mother sat in the corner, a look of complete disinterest on her face.
I found her daughters lack of modesty shocking. Her Mothers lack of awareness of the gawking crowd...disturbing.

In this day and age when children are snatched on a daily basis, where pedophiles have their own data bases, should 11 year old girls be naked..even in a change room?

My Mommy instinct screams out no! I encourage my daughters to cover up. Take advantage of provided change rooms. I encourage modesty.
They may not know it yet, but this is partly to protect them.
I have gone beyond don't talk to strangers, I am trying to instill street sense, a healthy sense of danger and a knowledge of predators. I hope I have not sacrificed their childhood innocence. As the saying goes "Better Safe then Sorry".

So, have I gone to far? Am I too overprotective? Is there even such a thing anymore. Because I have to tell you what I really wanted to do was give Blonde Girls uninterested Mom a shake, and hand that girl a towel.

26 comments:

Tami said...

I so wish I was there.
Maybe they belonged to a Nature Loving Nudist Camp?!

I would have asked =X

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I am in your court. I am not sure that is cool in a public place, where you don't know the people. Odd.

Just Breathe said...

I can't believe it. That mother was wrong! I wish someone would have said something. I understand why no one did but that mother needs to know. You are totally correct in protecting your children. Rather safe than sorry is the best guideline you can follow. I was an overprotective mother and it didn't hurt my kids at all. Just what does it take for an 11 years old girl to be so brave in doing that. I wonder what goes on at home!

Lady Mama said...

I don't think you're being over-the-top at all. The girl's behaviour sounded unusually odd. Maybe she was attention-seeking, but what a weird way to go about it.

I think most mothers of young girls would, like you, encourage modesty. And for good reason! Especially in a public place.

Buckeroomama said...

I'm with you on this. Wow, 11 years old. Some girls have hit puberty by then!

My girl is only two and I don't think it's too early to start encouraging modesty.

Lady Di said...

EWW! No, an 11 yr. old girl should not be standing naked in a public changing room. I mean yeah, we see the occasional baby streaker with mom chasing him or her down. It's different when their young (like baby young), but even then I didn't let my kid's butt hang out while I was changing them in public places. Sometimes it can't be avoided, but you use discretion. If they want to be free and "one" with their bodies, there are places for that...they're called nudist camps!!

HEATHER said...

well at 11 I think she needs some modesty, but at the same time I've seen much worse. Heck, old women in the gym locker room walk around and have entire conversations completely naked!! It's a fine line ,teaching your kids about modesty and safety, yet teaching them to appreciate and love their body, and not be ashamed of it!

Penelope said...

My thoughts are twofold

1) We don’t want our children to be ashamed of their bodies and therefore for a girl to be naked in a female changing room should not be cause for concern. When I was younger and part of the swimming club there were often girls undressed. One girl was somewhat larger than some of us and she hid behind a towel, getting herself into all sorts of positions to not drop the towel for shame of her lumps and bumps. She shouldn’t have had to feel like this. We were all about 11 years old and female, of all shapes and sizes.

2) I do however understand your concerns especially in light of recent events that have hit the media. Most parents are now more wary of what goes on in society and will do our utmost to protect our children in whatever that manner may be. We shouldn’t have to worry about children getting undressed in changing rooms even when we are present. There are however people out there who have basically reduced the nation to being scared of what could/may happen to our children. It shouldn’t be like this but sad to say it is.

Lady Christie said...

It's not just you I am the same way, probably worse considering I don't allow my girls to even wear just a bathing suit in the yard. They Both have tankinis and I am comfortable with that but shorts are a must over those bottoms.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I would be shocked also to see this as most girls are instinctively modest. Perhaps they are nudists???

I could not even get my 16 yr old to get down to her panties/bra w/ a robe on for the dermatologist this week for a body check. and the DR. was a 30 yr old woman.

No, you are not being overprotective.

Rachel said...

Completely foreign to me. My 9 year-old daughter locks the door to the bathroom.

There is an older woman who frequents our public pool and who showers naked in the women's locker room. And not only showers naked, but sits down and shaves her legs, brushes her hair and teeth at the sink, basically behaves as if she's in her own home... It's so odd to me, and makes my children VERY uncomfortable. I don't get.

Randi Troxell said...

im am totally with you on this one! that mother had NO IDEA who may have been going in or out of that changing room... this just totally blows my mind...

happy wkend!!!

Julie said...

Wow, I would not have been comfortable with that either.

Lizzie said...

nothing wrong with teaching your children modesty. and i would have been just as shocked to walk in on a naked hair drying 11 year old!!

(at least she had flip flop, ha ha)

armyblond said...

Odd to say the least!

I'm sure there had to be some sort of explanation?

Jackie M. said...

Yes, that was a bit disturbing to read. The mom should be slapped silly. I agree with Tammi. Perpahs her parents were hippies like Shia Lebouf's parents. They look normal these days.

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JennyMac said...

WOW...and I side with you. I think teaching kids modesty is critical more now than ever.

thatgirlblogs said...

I'm with you on this one.

Martha said...

I think it's creepy. I celebrate the beauty of all human bodies, but there is a lesson in modesty these folks missed.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

MM, I am totally with you. There is something very messed up about that. If you lived in Vegas, I'd say she's a stripper in training. I would find that very disturbing.

Stacey said...

I'm going to be mulling this one over for a while. I'm torn. Because my instinct for myself is to hide everything at all costs. But I feel sad for little girls that there is one more reason for them to have to grow up with another confusing message about self image. I'll ask this- boys are also at risk, but would you have been as disturbed to see a naked boy standing there?

Madame DeFarge said...

I'm with you. It may have been fine once, but I'd feel very uncomfortable with it,even when I was here age.

lz @ My Messy Paradise said...

No way are you being overprotective! My girls are 2 and 4 and I have already taught them about modesty and privacy. Hearing my little one yell "Private parts" when naked is hilarious, but hopefully she 'gets' it...

that mom needed a smack.

I Love Brownies said...

This might be a good opportunity for you to ASK your daughter what SHE thought about it....that should open up a discussion about HER thoughts about that girl. Could be very eye opening!
Our girl's will fair much better in life when they FIRST value their own bodies. Modesty does NOT equal shame. Good for you!!

ModernMom said...

I think we pretty much all agree. A strong self image is very important, sadly so is personal safety. I'm not sure what the cut-off line is where little one's should know to cover up...but I'm sure it is before 11.
I would have been equally shocked to have seen a boy behaving in the same manner.
It wasn't just that this little blonde girl was standing there in nothing but her flip flops, but that she seemed to have NO awareness of self. She was giving every person who walked into the change room a full frontal. I had to look around the change room to spot her mother hidden away in the corner.
I hope someone is looking out for her...

Too Many Hats said...

I would really wonder about that child's upbringing. I do not think it normal for any 11 year old do that.