On the very rare event that your Hubby has been given the golden pass to flee the Suburbs and heads out for a night on the town I hope you see it as the gift that it is.
Once you get the rug rats...er children to bed..the evening stretches out before you.
It is yours.
All yours!
Is it time for a luxurious bath without said Hubby wanting to join you?
A chance to put on your terrifying hardening mask that after all these years you would still rather he not see?
Perhaps wax some of those bits and pieces in privacy?
Maybe you want to get caught up on all that girly TV?
Or watch that chic flick and bawl your eyes and Enjoy.Every.Tear.
You know that stash of chocolate you have hidden. Time to break it out because tonight you don't have to share!
Perhaps one of the biggest benefits of giving the Hubby the golden pass for a night out with the boys. He now thinks without a shadow of a doubt that YOU are the coolest wife ever and the next time you want ANYTHING and I mean anything...it's yours baby.
"Mmmm I have had my eye on a little something." You whisper.
"Yours!" The Hopeful Hubby declares!
You hold the power baby:)
When the now Drunken Hubby arrives home, all sloppy and lovey. He tells you how much he adores you. How you are the most beautiful, sexiest, coolest wife in the world.
You tell him to shush and go to sleep.
The glorious snoring begins.
No matter how hard you try you can not stop a man from snoring who has had one too many. Trust me...I have tried them all. I have not yet figured out How to Out Smart a Snorer.
Eventually you stomp and grab that pillow. Head down the hall for peace and quiet.
The next morning as he suffers, head in hands, moaning as you offer to cook him some runny eggs, you can relish in the fact that you are still the coolest, most beautiful wife ever.
You can also enjoy the promises he made in the previous nights stupor!
Today shelves will be hung. Furniture will be re-arranged, and we are going to look for a new dining room table!
Ha! See. There are many hidden benefits to the nights when a Hubby goes drinking.
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31 comments:
Mmm, the stash of chocolate that you won't have to share... YES!
The chick flick --yes again! :)
hehe! love it and you go girl! happy friday!
I'm not planning on being married anytime soon, but I shall remember this. I miss baths, bathtubs aren't common in China and I don't have one. I'm jealous! :)
You go girl!
Oh, friend...we are cut from the same cloth! DH went out with friends after work the other day on a whim, and was apologetic that he couldn't get home to 'help' (ie be a total wrench in my smooth, bedtime gears) and offered to do bedtime the next night. Awesome! A night to myself, to catch up on reading and not watch his TV shows? And he's apologizing?
Hmm, sounds like a Win/Win situation for sure.
Yeah, you go girl!!
High Five girl!! You've got it figured out. I remember when I was newly married and I would get so bent out of shape when my husband worked late or went out without me. Now I'm like, "When are you leaving?", "Oh, that's ok honey, work as late as you need to". I totally have a secret stash for such occasions :)
OH I so LOVE those drunken stupors. Men are so easy, like little drunk puppets! BTW you are the coolest wife before the booze even starts flowing! I make him breakfast as well and then...the leather whip starts crackin!
I like the way you think!!!
My hubby, although it is never a night on the town with the guys, it is traveling around scouting out softball fields and new players. But the outcome is pretty much the same!!
Just a little favor: Next Hubby night out, do you think your Hubby could call my Hubby?
I need a few things done around this place.
Hope you enjoyed the peace and quiet.
hee hee - but I hate that snoring!!!!
LOL ~ love it! Years ago when Hubby and his navy aviator buddies came home from a Dining In a little soused and he would "think" he could get frisky (which never worked because in the middle of the romance he would fall alseep and I finally figured that out - duh!!!) So I always told him I would brush my teeth and be right there - ha! Waited 60 seconds and was sound asleep, but, YES snoring!! If need be, I would just resort to the couch or guest bedroom! Happy Friday to all!
Lovely post! Have a great weekend!(Phew! Managed to get to your page before the connection broke!! Damn Blogger!)
xNora:)
PS Lola's just posted her latest Lifeline Agony Aunt solutions (did you manage to catch it?) But sounds like you've no need of that - you've got everything all figured out already!
Love this post...i relish any me time and am glad to see the back of hubby but secretley pretend to be miffed so i can milk him for everything. However as it takes him at least three days to recover from his hangover (even after only 4 drinks) shelves, mirrors etc never get hung in my house.....maybe the pro's don't weigh out the cons after all? Who am i kidding chocolate all to myself...he could take a month to recover and i'd still feel i came off better :) x
Haha.. you're so right! I totally love nights where it's all mine, after the kids have gone to bed, of course. Me, the TV and chocolate is like, the perfect night. Maybe throw in some Doritos, too. LOVE IT! Happy weekend!
Clever girl! Now thats using your head! RMxx
My hubby is always allowed out to play. He is not allowed to use me as an excuse to see the boys. Please go have fun.
I love the house to myself.
Ha ha ha I have seen this Hubby before. That's why you need a virtual girls night out at Ann's place :)
Roll him over til he stops snoring - even if he ends up rolling on the floor~! Then he'll wake up and yell at you for waking him up. Uh.... wasn't he the one keeping you up already anyway?
Let me say .. I LOVE, LOVE this post, heh heh. I may just follow your advice. Even kick him in the shin to GET HIM OUT! I'll BEG, and plead. Now that our son is 21, they can BAR hop! YESSSSSSSSS! And my bath ALONE.. The joy...*rubs hands together! You HAVE ME ON A MISSION!
*Mission Impossible song plays
You know you're right! Drunk snoring is more obnoxious than ever!
You have just described my house when hubby goes out! How do you know about the chocolate?
my hubs is out drinking right now, and here I am on my lappy top!
My favorite part is the boozey smell that emits from their pores the next morning. Thank goodness the hubs doesn't go on benders often because our room smells like a brewery the next morning!
Yay! I need my hubs to drink. Although, he does the same thing when he goes on one of his "man weekends" I love it!!
haha so true! I hate snoring. Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I really need for my DH to take a Drinking Night! I, too, actually need a Drinking Night! lol
Ah such a fabulous blog! Such a lovely and fun writing style. Thank you for stopping by my blog, i will come by yours often. Kellie :)
Arrrrgh! Why, oh why won't he drink anything stiffer than Coca Cola? I'm missing out on all the good stuff!
Thanks for popping in on my little space today... it's always so much fun to see a new IP address on the site meter! A comment makes it even better!!
How funny! True! But so stinking FUNNY!
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