Why is it that every time I turn on my laptop there is some sweet little article ready to lecture me on the reasons I'm failing miserably at losing those last couple of pounds?
It screams...Read me...I have the secret..I know the reasons you can't lost weight.
The Internet, the magazines even the television is mocking me.
Some of the wise ones ideas go a little like this:
1. You are not getting enough sleep
2. You don't need to lose any weight, you are at your ideal weight
3. You have reached a plateau
4. You need to exercise more
5. You are eating the wrong things
6. You have not given yourself enough time to lose the weight
7. Your goals are unrealistic
8. You eat too fast
9. Your kitchen should be closed after 8pm
10.You need to squeeze in a workout during your lunch hour
Huh. Can we get real for a minute? I don't think these grand and glorious oh so general ideas on these neat and tidy "fix it" lists can apply to your average Momma in Suburbia.
Here are my well thought out excuses...er I mean rebuttals:
1. It is true, I don't get enough sleep, but Hello! Moms never get enough sleep.
2. The theory that I'm not losing any more weight because I don't need to is well, crap. If I don't need to lose any weight then what is this wee muffin top hanging over the top of my jeans? It was NOT there a couple of months ago.
3. I have not reached a plateau. This ModernMom does not believe in plateaus...I only had 10 pounds to lose..I'm not stopping at pound number 8.
4. Yes, Okay..everybody needs to exercise more. Who wants to loan me a personal trainer and extend the day to 25 hours.
5. So chocolate is one of the wrong things to eat, but it is a staple in my life and vital to my emotional well being. It stays.
6. I have not given myself enough time to lose "the weight". I don't have any more time. Summers in Canada are short. It starts in like a week and will be over in about 90 days.
7. My goals are not unrealistic. I'm not asking to be 19 again or walk the catwalk. I know eating well is not going to reverse the aging process, I just want to look hot in at least one pair of jeans.
8. I'm eating too fast? Yes. Every Mother eats too fast. If you don't eat fast..you don't eat.
9. Close my kitchen? Seriously? 8pm is when I start my last load of laundry, make those lunches, fill out field trip forms. My day is not nearly over! Many a night Hubby and I don't get dinner until way way after 8pm. Are we to skip this meal?
10. I'm sorry, squeeze in a workout during my lunch hour? I don't have a lunch hour. Sometimes I don't have a lunch! Sometimes my lunch is what ever the kids didn't finish on their plates!
So why am I not losing the weight. Well I am, but frankly I could do without all the nagging. Every woman I know is working to be a better version of themselves. The reminders with the size 0 models talking about the benefits of "their" diet being the only one, and the before and after pictures with no touch ups at all..enough already.
Can we have some realism please?
Life is tough, emotional eating happens, weight goes up and down, and beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
Jenny Craig Weight Watchers Herbal One Special K Hoddi South Beach and Oprah! Back off.
Time to be healthy and happy with who we are. That IS what we preach to our children!
Cheers to all the women out there.
Now excuse me..there is some chocolate frosting in my fridge calling my name!
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38 comments:
You have a "wee" muffin top? I'm jealous--mine is freakin' blooming.
This made me laugh!!! Thanks. I needed that little bit of motivation and the reminders of things that DO actually help/make a difference in weight loss.
Good luck to you!!!!
Sigh.
I wish I was "thin" so much that I had surgery to halve the size of my stomach. So far, it's worked a bit, it's still pretty new. But I agree, diets only work in the short term and we all need to cut ourselves a break and fcus on being healthy rather than being "thin".
I agree that most things you see on the internet are "fad" diets or trends. There is no secret, it's just burn more calories than you take in. Exercise, exercise, exercise! I'm an exercise and sports Iscience major in school...you hit a sensitive spot !! #4..there is ALWAYS time for exercise! Always! not an excuse! LOL! If i can find time to train for a marathon while working 30 hours a week, going to college full time, taking care of two babies and my household, ANYONE can squeeze in an hour of exercise TV or 30 minutes of walking/running/eliptical/whatever. I agree we do need to preach to our children about being healthy and happy with ourselves...but we need to lead by example!
(stepping off my soapbox) don't hate me :)
Heather! No hate..just love. You go girl:)
Oh, I know. Somedays I feel I should be happy with myself and other days I can't be. I agree that exercise is the key. It's always been what's help me stay in shape, but as I get older it's gets harder. Oh, what to do, what to do?
haha thanks :) I tend to get all "Richard Simmons" on people when it comes to this topic, lol, so i feel the need to apologize :)
Great post, yes, You are Perfect just the way you are!
I have a hot fudge brownie ala mode with my name on it downstairs. If a little junk in the trunk is good for Fergie and Oprah, it's good for us.
Thanks, MM.
Just in case you are interested, my dear friend has a blog, Eating the Angel Way, cool stuff. So not nagging.
http://eatingtheangelway.blogspot.com/
Thank you!
I swear, some days by 8 pm I realize the only thing I've eaten all day are PB&J crusts and I'm STARVING!
Amen!
I think I've given up losing any more weight.
Plus, I like food too much. Oh well.
LOL! I'm high-fiving you through my computer screen! ;-)
I agree. The magazines, internet, and T.V make it sound so easy. If you just do A, B, and C, then D will happen. But we busy moms know that A, B, and C, rarely happen in that order if at all some days. I DOUBLE agree on the chocolate issue as well. All I have to say is chocolate frosting on a graham cracker is a beautiful thing :)
I totally agree with Vegas Linda Lou - I have like a...cake top or something, mine is so large. I know what you mean, though, about being accosted with all these stories - I was just on MSNBC's home page, and there's like 3 of them - one of them that even implies that exercise is garbage, and that without drastically changing your diet, you'll never lose weight! Yikes. Haven't they found some magic pill for this yet???
Haha.. great post. I agree- it's better to eat healthy, get in exercise when we can (run errands? housework? chase kids? sounds like exercise to me..), and be a bit more positive about our bodies. I am teaching myself to like salad. It's a struggle. I get halfway through the bowl, and get bored. I'm still working on it. But it is a step in the right direction.
btw- the crazy, neurotic weight loss thing I do? I keep my bathroom scale in the kitchen, to remind me to be on good behavior. Except I usually forget it is there, and eat whatever anyhow.. ;)
Can I add no. 11 onto that list which is:
The very large glass of red wine (sometimes two) that a mum turns to when she's had to be peeled off the ceiling. This is normally due to a Small Child who has the ability to make her chew her own arm off out of sheer frustration! Do you think Elle Mcpherson or SJP get this problem or do they have perfect kids to go with their perfect figures? x
You are too funny. If I would stop reading my people magazines, I would feel better about myself.
If I would only go to public beaches and pools, I would feel better about myself. Ugghhh. It is hard to be a woman...so many outside influences.
Peer pressure does not end in middle school!!e
Um, have I been missing in action that long, or do you actually have 89 FOLLOWERS?????????
What did you do???????
Holy crap.
I guess if I blog, they will come??? Screw work. Damn it.
Thanks for the visit! You have a great blog here yourself!! I know what you mean about the diet junk...I'm fully ignoring it and emotionally eating like crazy with all our house selling drama! Thanks for the inspiration!
Susan!
I know right? And I love them all. Apparently sometimes I write some stuff that is worth reading? Hee Hee
Yikes! Weight and Women - always a hot topic!
Marbella-I so agree that as I've gotten older it's getting harder to stay thin. I used to be able to eat anything. Now you can see where every bite of that brownie lands.
Martha-Thanks for the link. I'll check it out.
Rachel-Isn't amazing we can forget to eat!
Lady Di-I simply must try frosting on a graham cracker!
Elizabeth-There must be a magic pill coming out soon that will melt away all those pounds n the right places. Why must my boobs always go first. I need those:)
Margo-Love your neurotic weight loss scale in the kitchen! I'd probably use it to weigh the chocolate before I consumed it.
That Girl-How did I forget WINE!
Buzy Bee Suz- I'm starting to think Peer Pressure never ends. I watch my 65 year old Mom worry about how her tummy looks in skirts. Sigh.
losing weight is so NOT fun... and i hate that food must taste sooo good.... well crap, now im hungrey, lol!!!
award for you over at mine x
Great post, once again! God you're good.
Okay so yeah. I guess I'm not going to lose any weight until my kids are way older. Because currently I just do not sleep enough. A few hours of broken sleep a night. That must be why I'm not losing weight, right? Not the fact that I eat chocolate every single day. More than fruit or veggies. I'm addicted. I also do not really exercise, unless you count running after two boys under the age 4 exercise. I think that totally counts, right? ;) And I guess doing Atkins 1 day, Weight Watchers the 2nd day, Atkins the 3rd day, WW the 4th day is just not going to work... right?
I understand it is a bylaw of my town that is illegal if I don't eat chocolate everyday and I'm not risking a jail sentance!!!!
Fantastic post :0)
ha h a- can i copy this!!
If I stop eating after 6:30 at night, that keeps the pounds off. I find it nearly impossible to do but I have to go back to that soon. VERY soon.
Little award over at mine for you :)
I hope you appreciate all the stickiness that is on my keyboard just so I could respond to you and tell you, "You're the bomb!!!" Now go eat a cupcake.
Very well put! I am not losing weight because I am eating everything I can get my hands on! LOL
Way to go. I think I needed that today after the piece of apple pie I just scarfed down after dinner. It was the small piece out of the bunch, but still worth every bite.
Love your blog! Thanks for stopping by mine. I have gained a few lbs... ugh! Need to work on it. Just started to run again this very week. Not sure how long I will last. lol If I last longer than a week, I will start blogging about it!
Great post...and so true. I wish I had the motivation to be a health-nut, but instead my motivation is focused on the kiddies too. I'll shed a few pounds by the time they get into school...hopefully. You are a great writer :)
LOL yes, back off - i'm not losing weight because I drink wine every night and I"m going crazy. so there!
Hi ModernMom:
The registration's in the blogomail! And I'm relying on you to set up & mentor the Canada (East) chapter too!
Lovely post!
TTFN
xLOL LOLA:)
PS Cannot access yr site DIRECT via the link on my blog anymore - have to do it the long way via GOOGLE!! Have any others reported the same problem??!
Hah, great post! Their list DOES make sense but I like yours better :)
LOL!! You had me laughing! I love chocolate frosting as a snack too! I hate hearing every talk show and commercial preaching weight loss tips. I know why I am overweight, I am exhausted and so busy feeding everyone else that I hardly have to eat and then when I do eat, i totally binge on whatever I can get my hands on, vicious cycle! I keep telling myself I should just love my body and be thankful I am healthy, but the world makes that tough. Keep up the great writing!
I second every single item on your list.
I mean, I'm 23 and I am, most days, thrilled with how I look and I know that when I'm 43 I'm going to wish I look like I do now but when my 43 year old mother looks hotter in a pair of jeans than I do (after birthing 4 children vs. my one) then it's enough to make me think: Fack. I need to work out.
I've been trying, for the last month, REALLY trying.
I've fit working out into my mommy schedule and I've started eating smaller, healthier portions. I've even cut back on the chocolate and coffee! I'm done to once a week. (The cravings are almost too much to handle though, to tell you the truth. Mama needs her chocolate.)
Not only have I not LOST a pound. I have not lost an inch and I gained two inches in my chest!
I am too happy with myself to jump on a fad diet bandwagon but the muffin top is killing me.
And normally I love muffin tops. They're delicious!
;)
So. Thursday morning, I joined a gym. I researched it carefully. Chose one that promotes healthy lifestyles as opposed to promoting just weight loss and a gym that has tons of branches that I can attend no matter where I am in Ottawa or Gatineau I can find one when I have a free half hour (HA.. yeah.. maybe not, but you never know..)
I am thrilled to start... although I haven't actually gone yet.
But they have a great child care facility in the one I will probably (read: hopefully) attend regularly and I know myself enough to know that I'll go just so my son can have some social time with other children his age lol.
Yeah, I can't really remember the point of that rant.. but.. ya.
:)
I'm really glad I found your blog anyhow and I can't wait to catch up!
This post had a great message about body image and I'd love to link to it when I write some posts about fitness next week!
Umm...totally love this post. What can I say? Struggling with my weight my entire life? Check. Emotional eating? Check. All the above? Check. Sigh.
Just joined Weight Watchers and I am working on creating a lifestyle change to fit in with my busy life.
Exercise? What Margo said-running errands, loading/unloading the car after grocery shopping is not exercise? Then why am I so tired? LOL! We gotta learn to love ourselves for who we are and feel good about ourselves-that is key, especially if we want our children to be healthy. Gosh, just another thing to do, eh?
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