There has been a death in my life. The death of my bikinis. I don’t know when it happened. Somewhere between the pasta and the popcorn…after the Chinese and before the red wine? But I can no longer sport a bikini.
I’ve been frantically packing for an upcoming trip with the family. Thought I had better try on my bathing suits to see which would be the one that would get the extra special service of traveling in my carry on. Can’t take the chance that my luggage would get lost and I would have to buy a new bikini while on vacation. That’s just too damn stressful.
OK..Number 1 looks like crap. Number 2…hmm..did it shrink a little. Number 3…my god where did that back fat come from! AH! I’m gonna puke. What the hell am I going to do? There is no way I can lose five OK closer to ten pounds in the 2 measly weeks we have before we head to Florida. Even if I did hit the treadmill like a crazy women I can’t be seen with the couple we are traveling with (aka Ken and Barbie) in any of these suits! I have no choice. I have got to go shopping for an old lady bathing suit to try and hide some of this winter weight.
Tears in my eyes, credit card in hand I head out to the mall. Wow these specialty places really gouge you in Canada in March. The prices are insane. I head straight for the black bathing suits. Black is thinning right? Alright. That little tankini is sorta cute…oh there are a couple more. 25 minutes in the change room. $250.00 later. I’m out of there.
Home to break the news to the hubby that I just blasted the credit card to help my poor sense of self confidence. His response…”Geeze Hon..don’t worry about that, it’s the least you should get to do consider I ruined our family trip”. Touche! Then he adds “Try them on”. YIKES!
The good news. Apparently I’m still a MILF 🙂 Gotta love him.