Impulse Purchases equals . . . Granny Panties?

Oh good grief it’s happened!  I was shopping at Costco, buzzing around picking up all the things a modern Mama needs to survive in the Suburbs.  You know, 10 pounds of chocolate chips, 36 rolls of toilet paper, 15 Chicken Breasts and 3 loaves of bread when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted them.  A package of six women’s briefs for less then what I usually spend on one itty bitty pair at my usual place.  I had to bring my giant ass grocery cart to a stop and take a look at the plastic tube that contained this sweet deal.  PLASTIC TUBE.  Huh.  Turns out I’m a bit of an underwear snob because this tube of panties was making me all kinds of dubious.  Inside the tube were six pairs of  neatly rolled up “Woman’s Briefs” ranging in colour from black to hot pink to polka dot.  How bad could they be if they have polka dots?  They were described as “Flattering and High Cut”.  Hmmm, I looked around the giant Costco, you know, to make sure there wasn’t anyone around I knew because I’m super mature like that, and saw the coast was clear.  Grabbed myself one of those tubes and threw it in my oversized cart.  No one would ever notice that tiny purchase surrounded by a giant bottle of pickles and 9 cans of tuna.  Proud of myself for my stealth like behaviour and effort to save money on lingerie, I strutted to the checkout. 

Later in the day I unpacked my newly purchased “lingerie” and what did I discover?  I was now the proud owner of what can only be described as Granny Panties. 

Crap. SIX pairs of them. 

 

 

Apparently “High cut” can also be loosely translated to “Urkel style, easily mistaken for a T-shirt,  or my kids could use them for a parachute panties”.    Sigh. 

This guy …he’s not one I usually take fashion advice from.

 

However, not one easily scared away by a challenge, I tried on my new purchase….and nearly peed in my brand new leopard print Granny Panties.  Who wears underwear this ugly?  That ride up so high they stick out over the top of your pants?  That your Grandma wears?  Wait a second….Huh.  Maybe Mamas who want to be comfortable? 

No NO!!  I took off those Granny Panties, threw them under my “giving up on life, I don’t give a crap what they look like because they are the most comfy PJ’s in the world pyjama bottoms” and made a pact with myself to never EVER wear them again.  Or you know, until it’s laundry day, and the Hubby’s away, and it’s really cold out and I need an extra layer of clothes to keep me warm.  But only then!

Sigh.  I am getting old, but not Granny Panty old.

Escaping The Cold at Castaway Bay, and a Give Away!

Lately is seems life has been revolving around what we “have” to do. Kids are shuttled from school, to dance, to piano, to gymnastics. Homework is completed, dinner is crammed in. Where is the family time? The down time? It feels dark all the time, life is hurried and we live in a constant state of rush. This is not what I want for my family.

When I was offered the opportunity to whisk my loved one’s away to Castaway Bay in Ohio it seemed like it was meant to be. Time away from the hustle, the bustle, the computers and the phones? Yes please. Sign us up!

Following a freak blizzard that covered our city in a blanket of horrible white stuff, the Hubby and I bravely packed up our girls, a cooler of snackage and we were on our way! Final destination, Sandusky Ohio, Castaway Bay, where it is always a balmy 82 degrees!!

We arrived and were warmly greeted by the Castaway Bay staff. Check in was fast and seamless. We received the key card to our rooms, ID bracelets (that also were our passes into the water park), and directions to the main attraction. The Castaway Bay Water Park.

My girls skipped down the hall towards our room, dragging their carry on’s behind them. Do you have any idea how cute that is? We entered our room, the Manatee Suite, and were pleasantly surprised by what we found! Ideally located just a stones throw from both the Crabbie’s Quarterdeck Arcade and the Waterpark, was our suite with a perfect floor plan for a family of four.

In the first Caribbean style room was complete with two Queen size beds, a television and a little table and chairs over looking the bay. The adjoining room housed a King size bed, a second television and an identical table set up. How great is that view! Oh if only it was a little warmer so would could have taken advantage of this fabulous outdoor space.

The King sized bed room also had what is best described as a mini kitchen! A mini bar, counter space, coffee maker and microwave.

The two rooms shared one big bathroom. The bathroom was showing it’s age a little bit, but more then did it’s job for our family of four. Tour of the room complete, we wasted no time jumping into our suits and headed to check out the waterpark!

Now I should tell you, I am always cold. Actually, I think I have been cold for about three months, but when we walked through the doors of this indoor tropical paradise and were met by balmy air and sweet Caribbean music….Sigh, I had finally found a happy place! So warm!!

We staked out chairs near the wave pool and got on with the business of enjoying our day.

Giggles in the Wave Pool.

Races Down the Water Slides.

Basketball in the Heated Pool, and challenging each other at the Cargo Crossing.

Countless number of runs down Rendezvous Run.

Exploring Lookout Lagoon.

….and the glorious hot tub. A hot tub that can seat 91!! Oh my word how I enjoyed that indoor/outdoor hot tub. Sigh…so tingly and warm!

Eventually we did leave the water park and explored the rest of what Castaway Bay had to offer. We feasted on pizza for dinner, created keepsakes with the cutest ever Castaway Bay T-shirts, and had the opportunity to meet Snoopy!

We checked out the gift shops and watched some talented little one’s sing their hearts out at Karaoke night. My little gamers used up their allowance (and then some) at Crabbie’s Quarterback Arcade, and we all indulged in some hot chocolate at Ebb & Edy’s Deli before we finally called it a night. So tired!

Castaway Bay was clean, incredibly well supervised with friendly and accommodating staff, and allowed you to set your own pace. Choose to laze away your day at the water park, or run run run and jam in the activities by taking advantage of the Spa, shopping, arcade, and all the scheduled family fun you and your loved one’s can handle.

We played, we laughed, we re-connected as a family. We forgot about the world for a while. What a gift. These are the moments my children will always remember, these are the memories I want to give my girls.

Thanks Castaway Bay for a great weekend!

Of course I can’t just leave it at that! What a horrible tease it would be to brag about my stay at Castaway Bay and offer you nothing! How about a little giveaway?!

Do you live in the Ohio area?

I have Four Indoor Waterpark Day Passes to give away!

Approximate Value $120.00!!!

*Please note. These are passes for the Waterpark only, accommodations are not included.

How to Enter:

1) If you would like to win these passes just tell me so in a comment! (and leave me your e-mail address!)

2) Want a second chance at winning? I’d love it if you would LIKE my Facebook fan page.

3) One more way to win! Follow my blog publicly and/or tell me that you do!

*Winner will be chosen using random.org. Closes Friday Feb 3, 2012. Giveaway is for day passes only. Open to US and Canadian Residents!

Wishing you all a warm and wonderful weekend!

Safe Travels

Mwah!

*Disclosure: My family stayed at Castaway Bay as their guests, the opinions in this post are my own and were not influenced by accommodation.

I Can Be Bought

Sometimes money isn’t a big enough currency. Cold hard cash might be nice, but it’s not what this Mama really wants! 

After a night with precious little sleep I will trade you just about whatever you want for a Grande Chi Tea Latte.

Hubby, he can name his price for a back rub with no strings.

Kids want extra time at the computer?  They “pay” for it by being quiet.

He’s willing to take the kids to the Dentist so I don’t have to.  Now I owe him the world.  (I’m ridiculously scared of that creep in the white mask Dentist guy)

If Hubby needs a big favour from me he knows what tricks to try; dangle a love letter in front of me, build a big fire in the fireplace, sit and chat about vacation plans for the future, dream with me about all that is to come…..I’m freakin putty in his hands.  Pathetic. 

Does this mean my currency is coffee, backrubs, quiet time and love letters? Uh, Yep, all that and chocolate. 

You want to negotiate with me? 

Turns out it’s pretty easy, I can be bought.

Dreading Specky The Speculum

I can feel it already.  Tomorrow is going to be one of those days.  It’s the annual event all women dread, we put it off and yet we know we simply must do it.  It’s the annual physical.  (uh note to the men folk who read my blog, you might want to just move along now, this post is not for you)

Tomorrow morning I will shower as if I am getting ready for a date where I know I’m going to get some uhhhh attention?  I will shave, lather and be sure I am extra super squeaky clean.  Why?  Not because I am looking forward to some “come hither” time with someone I love, but because I have a date with the cold hard invasive claw that is known as the speculum.  Frankly, this kind of date sucks!

It’s not just the little blue sheet, the humiliating weigh in, the making small talk with a kindly Doctor as she examines your privates, the boob check…it’s the dread that builds up to this day!

It’s trying to figure out which socks weigh the very least (every ounce counts on those scales). Which underwear and bra are “Doctor” appropriate, and for this self confessed hypochondriac it’s talking myself off the preverbal ledge.  What if she finds something?  What if these constant headaches are more then just headaches?  What if the gnawing ache in my stomach is more then the “simple” ulcer I have decided it is and my well meaning Doctor scares the crap out of me with a litany of tests.  Oh she does like to order tests. 

Sigh.  Stupid to worry, worse to complain about having access to health care. 

Perhaps tomorrow I will get lucky. Maybe Specky the Speculum will be warmed up and waiting for me under a heat lamp, maybe it will be quick and painless, maybe I will weigh less then I think I do, maybe she will prescribe an anti-biotic for my “oh so simple to diagnose stomach ache” and all this worrying will be for naught.  Maybe. 

A girl can dream right.  Sometimes being a women is so much more complicated then it seems. 

Never Under Estimate The Power of Flowers

My Hubby’s doing it again. Gleefully texting his “boyfriends” (can I call them that?), talking with wild gestures on the phone, and firing off e-mails to these buddies, and guess what? NONE of it is about me! Dramatic POUT. Yes, the Dear Husband is planning his annual golf trip with “The Boys”. Sigh. I’m not against some quality dude time, after all, I need time with my gurrrls, but does he have to be so darn excited about it? Enough already!

Thankfully, as this annual event has been happening for a few years now, he’s learned a few tricks. One of these, flowers make everything better! Yep, I said flowers. Flowers have power!! I may be a modern Mama, but this doesn’t mean that when Hubby’s away, and I hear the door bell ring to find I have received flowers by post, that I am not the swooniest, old fashioned, over the top joyful, skipping around the kitchen kinda girl in the world. Happiness! For me, a delivery of flowers remains a romantic, sweet, loving gesture that reminds me my dear Hubby is thinking of me even when he is away! (what a very smart man)

Lucky for Dear Hubby ordering some gorgeous Calla Lilies, Gerber Daises, Orchids, or good old fashioned roses has never been easier. Creative and talented florists are easily found with the click of a mouse, and the gorgeous arrangements can be delivered right to your loved one’s doorstep.

So a note to all the men out there. Looking for a way to unexpectedly brighten someone's day? Flowers aren’t just for Mother’s Day, Valentine's Day, or to make up for a big fat mistake. Flowers chosen with care, and arriving on your significant other’s door step for no reason at all…. those hold the most power of all.

Disclosure: Pictures courtesy of Interflora. This post was written on behalf of Interflora, however all opinions are my own.

I’m Either Very Old Or Just Getting Easier To Please

Not that long ago, I was a girl who was excited about the prospect of a night out.  Oh and by “night out” I mean wearing my fancy heels, dinner at a nice restaurant, dancing with my gurrrls wearing my “bar” clothes, and making enough noise to be slightly north of obnoxious.

Suddenly I realize, me definition of a good time has changed.  Dramatically.  You know what excites me now?  Prepare yourself, you may not be able to handle the awesomeness of it all….

-A night in.  Put the kids to bed early.  Have a late dinner, watch a rented movie and SPLIT a beer with my man.  I am such a rebel!

Oh it gets worse.  Prepare yourself for the other blow your socks off events things that I find extremely titillating.  Ready?

-The Dollar Sale at the Grocery Store.  Seriously, when I walk in and find out I can buy a bag of cookies, a bag of apples, a bottle of shampoo, a giant jar of pasta sauce and a huge carton of chocolate milk for FIVE bucks I am  text my girlfriends, call my Hubby and spread the news happy.  Pathetic.

-Kids get invited to a play date at the same time.  The stars must have aligned because this means I have just scored an hour to myself.  Love.

-Hubby surprises me by bringing me home a cup of coffee. (Large, double cream)  Very Happy.  

-Hitting all the lights green on the way home during carpool.  Yes, this brings me joy.

-Finding some chocolate left in my super secret chocolate stash.  Bliss. 

So does this make me altogether too easy to please? Have I lost a little of my zest for it all?  Nah, thinking I’m just in a happy place right now.  Must be that, cause I don’t feel super old and pathetic…..?

Coffee With A Girlfriend and A Dirty Old Man?

Today I finally had time to sit and get caught up with a girlfriend.  Granted, that coffee was in the middle of a busy mall food court, but this still counts as quality girl time! 

As with all girl chats, we started with the polite chat before we got into the good stuff.  You know; how are we really doing, how are the kids, what is making us want to pull our hair out or cry bittersweet tears.  Oh, and maybe a little bit of gossip too!  Anyway, just as we start getting down to it, a gentleman who I would guess to be in his mid 80’s leaned over from his table and interjected with a little remark about an article in todays paper.  An article about a very bad man taking very bad pictures.  (um foreshadowing?)  We politely responded, and then got back to our gossip conversation. 

Five minutes later the “gentleman” was on the move.  He approached our table, picked up my giant purse, moved it out of his way and made himself quite at home with us, at our table.  (Nervy!!) “Move over there, I’m going to sit and talk to you, I come here at noon everyday and am such a people person” he declared.  He might have been old, but he was a  quick one!  This lonely old man had made himself comfortable  IN MY SPACE before I even had time to register what was happening! 

Okay, so he was a lonely old soul right?  We could put our conversation on hold for a few minutes and have a wee chat with a sweet little old man right?  (this of course is the super secret silent conversation that is exchanged between my girlfriend and I with nothing more then a glance )  At first the gentleman was just as expected…a sweet little old man, VERY quickly telling us his story of his many years in the military, his dear wife in a nursing home with Alzheimer's, and his eleven children.  He even had pictures.  Cute right? 

Ahhh, but then the tides turned!  Conversation turned to “How his life sucked.”  (his words, not mine)  His language started getting a little more colourful?  There was complaining about the Grandkids, getting his parts touched at the doctors office, talk of boobies, telling us we should “respect” our Husbands, back to the war, back to his wife and how her life is great because she is the sick one and he is the one suffering, again with the cursing.  Ug.  Now I was getting  uncomfortable.   My  first assumption of “Awe, poor old lonely guy.” had turned into “Ew…time to get away from Dirty Old Man.  Red Light Person. Red Light Person!” 

Pretty sure my girlfriend was starting to feel the same.  As much as I’d love to help brighten this strangers day with a little friendly chit chat….this was no longer feeling friendly. 

I sorta kinda obviously checked my watch a couple of times, then we politely made our escape.  Sigh.  Sorry dear old “gentleman”.  Next time you want to make small talk with a couple of Mama’s from the Suburbs, stick to the sweet talk of Grandkids or even the troubles with your wife.  Leave out the cursing, private pokey doctors visits and the boobie talk.  Your audience will last longer.